A real Update...
Well I don't really know where to begin...
Well lately I have felt like complete shit. Shit because I hate myself. I hate how I think, how i look, how i act, and who i am in general. I can't take it any more. I have come to the conclusion that Kassi and I will never be the friend we once were. I want to but I don't think she does. It really hurts me and I continuously cry about it. I miss all my girls from school so much. I miss them more than I ever thought possible. Nothing will ever be the same, ever.
School is doing good. I have spent the last three nights in the library and infact that is where I am right now, taking a break from research for my African History Class' final papers. I got a 96 on my last German test and that has made me realize I am doing better in that class than I ever expected. Megan and I have joined CEC, Council for Exception Children, the meetings are great and you learn alot about these children and their families. We are also in French club and German club. We are going to Montreol from the 5th-10th or 11th of May and are very excited!!! :)
Packing has been started and I move almost everything out on Friday. Bummer in a way to say good-bye next Thursday to everyone especially Eva and Laura.
I have been having a great time being able to see Adam when ever I want. That however is about to change in a large way. I will be working a lot and he will be caddying on the weekends and summer is just going to suck a lot. In order to make up for it I will have to go to the cottage a bunch to see my "summer" friends and my cousins. It will be a good summer.
I have been at the gym so far every morning which is great I need to loose weight I feel so discusting. I hate everything about my body and I really have some issues and know it. Everyday Adam tells me how beautiful he thinks I am but I honestly don't see it,ever. I just notice EVERYTHING else every single flaw about myself. I would list them but you know it wouldn't fit the page.
I don't know if I really want to come home. I don't know if I can deal with getting close to everyone again and then have everyone just disappear from my life and not talk to me for 2 entire semesters. I don't know if I can put myself through that. I feel out of the loop like they don't want me to even be there. I really just do not know any more.
*A positive is that I may be going to Chile in January with my cousin Michelle to visit my Aunt, Uncle, and 2 cousins!*
*Another is that Melissa and i have been talking and I miss that a lot*
-i don't want to get my wisdom teeth out-
-i don't want to work although i need the money desperatly-
-i don't want to put my dog to sleep-
-i love my parents and can not wait to be able to spend some time with them-
-
-
long enough?
so sorry
Well lately I have felt like complete shit. Shit because I hate myself. I hate how I think, how i look, how i act, and who i am in general. I can't take it any more. I have come to the conclusion that Kassi and I will never be the friend we once were. I want to but I don't think she does. It really hurts me and I continuously cry about it. I miss all my girls from school so much. I miss them more than I ever thought possible. Nothing will ever be the same, ever.
School is doing good. I have spent the last three nights in the library and infact that is where I am right now, taking a break from research for my African History Class' final papers. I got a 96 on my last German test and that has made me realize I am doing better in that class than I ever expected. Megan and I have joined CEC, Council for Exception Children, the meetings are great and you learn alot about these children and their families. We are also in French club and German club. We are going to Montreol from the 5th-10th or 11th of May and are very excited!!! :)
Packing has been started and I move almost everything out on Friday. Bummer in a way to say good-bye next Thursday to everyone especially Eva and Laura.
I have been having a great time being able to see Adam when ever I want. That however is about to change in a large way. I will be working a lot and he will be caddying on the weekends and summer is just going to suck a lot. In order to make up for it I will have to go to the cottage a bunch to see my "summer" friends and my cousins. It will be a good summer.
I have been at the gym so far every morning which is great I need to loose weight I feel so discusting. I hate everything about my body and I really have some issues and know it. Everyday Adam tells me how beautiful he thinks I am but I honestly don't see it,ever. I just notice EVERYTHING else every single flaw about myself. I would list them but you know it wouldn't fit the page.
I don't know if I really want to come home. I don't know if I can deal with getting close to everyone again and then have everyone just disappear from my life and not talk to me for 2 entire semesters. I don't know if I can put myself through that. I feel out of the loop like they don't want me to even be there. I really just do not know any more.
*A positive is that I may be going to Chile in January with my cousin Michelle to visit my Aunt, Uncle, and 2 cousins!*
*Another is that Melissa and i have been talking and I miss that a lot*
-i don't want to get my wisdom teeth out-
-i don't want to work although i need the money desperatly-
-i don't want to put my dog to sleep-
-i love my parents and can not wait to be able to spend some time with them-
-
-
long enough?
so sorry