it's been a long long time..
It's strange how things can change so fast. One moment you're happy and you feel like nothing's missing in your life and the next you feel like you've lost everything in the space of just one second. You make one mistake, say one wrong thing and you watch your whole world crash down in front of your eyes and you can't do anything to stop it. Once it's done, it's done and you can't go back and change the one thing you wish you could. I have never regretted (sp?) anything so bad in my life before but I do now. That one mistake I made changed everything in my life and I'm hating it and hating myself for that.
I wonder why it always feels like rain
My life is like some cheap champagne
The answers don't always seem to fit
My glass is full, but it tastes like shit
I need a quick decision
and a cheap reward
I'm in my last revision
hey- hey-hey-hey
So I'll cry just a little bit longer
and I'll stay two seconds more
and I'll try to be stronger
and I'll see if you catch my fall
I can't say if what I did was right
but you let me go like your sister's kite
I can't say if what I did was wronge
still you followed me like a sing-along
I need a quick decision
and a cheap reward
I'm in my last revision
hey-hey-hey-hey
So I'll cry just a little bit longer
and I'll stay two seconds more
and I'll try to be stronger
and I'll see if you catch my fall
I've made my last decision
and got some cheap reward
I need no man's permission
So I'll cry just a little bit longer
and I'll stay two seconds more
and I'll try to be stronger
and I'll see if you catch my fall
if you catch my fall
catch my fall
ya catch my fall
fall
But I can't go back to fix it so I'm moving on, finally. I've been avoiding internet a lot, I keep myself busy and go out as much as I can. Internet is so deadly boring anyway. Plus there is so much to do at work that I barely have time to come online. It's nearly christmas and I have to think about going shopping and get everyone a gift, I'm entirely redecorating my room also, so it's a bit of a mess just now. I've been waiting for this for years though so I'm not complaining. I finally got this huge bed I wanted and a new desk and it's going to be so much better when it's done. I can't wait. Meanwhile, I have to paint the walls and change the carpet and put all my shit in boxes in a matter of two weeks, and I have so much to do at work before christmas that I don't know where I'm going to find the time.
The kids are all excited about christmas, they learned the xmas songs and poems so fast and made that cute frame for their parents. A lot have been sick lately so it's been calm. Last tuesday and thursday Estrella wasn't there so I was on my own with the kids which I love. I feel important haha. I love kids so much, sometimes when I watch them play or when they cling onto me after they hurt themselves and I hug them, I find myself thinking I'd love to have my own child already, I love them so much. They make me forget everything, how much life sucks sometimes and how fucked up this world is. They are so innocent and pure, they are still in this world where everything is perfect, or at least almost everything, their only worry is for the color of their next toy car or doll's dress and they have fun with the smallest thing. I love my job, I don't see myself doing anything else. I hope I make it into that damn school next year >:o
Speaking of next year, Des (Lip_gl0ss_girl) and I just talked and I'm going to the states for 2 weeks to see her! They're doing a roadtrip to California with a few friends and she aksed me if I wanted to come so I said yes :D I'm excited about that now, Not only am I going to the states but I'm also meeting Des and going to Cali, wooo! lol So that's two weeks in July, I'll probably also go to France to see Geri then my dad paid for this two weeks safari in South Africa for the whole family so that's also two weeks over there in august. It's going to be a busy summer to say the least! I'm also going to London for a week next april with Coralie, Aline, Florence and probably Geri too. It's going to be fun.
I had something else to say but I don't remember now! Oh yeah, to those who gave me their address in my previous post, you should all get a card from me soon :) I'm going to bed for now, 4:13am and I'm still up.. tsk.
I wonder why it always feels like rain
My life is like some cheap champagne
The answers don't always seem to fit
My glass is full, but it tastes like shit
I need a quick decision
and a cheap reward
I'm in my last revision
hey- hey-hey-hey
So I'll cry just a little bit longer
and I'll stay two seconds more
and I'll try to be stronger
and I'll see if you catch my fall
I can't say if what I did was right
but you let me go like your sister's kite
I can't say if what I did was wronge
still you followed me like a sing-along
I need a quick decision
and a cheap reward
I'm in my last revision
hey-hey-hey-hey
So I'll cry just a little bit longer
and I'll stay two seconds more
and I'll try to be stronger
and I'll see if you catch my fall
I've made my last decision
and got some cheap reward
I need no man's permission
So I'll cry just a little bit longer
and I'll stay two seconds more
and I'll try to be stronger
and I'll see if you catch my fall
if you catch my fall
catch my fall
ya catch my fall
fall
But I can't go back to fix it so I'm moving on, finally. I've been avoiding internet a lot, I keep myself busy and go out as much as I can. Internet is so deadly boring anyway. Plus there is so much to do at work that I barely have time to come online. It's nearly christmas and I have to think about going shopping and get everyone a gift, I'm entirely redecorating my room also, so it's a bit of a mess just now. I've been waiting for this for years though so I'm not complaining. I finally got this huge bed I wanted and a new desk and it's going to be so much better when it's done. I can't wait. Meanwhile, I have to paint the walls and change the carpet and put all my shit in boxes in a matter of two weeks, and I have so much to do at work before christmas that I don't know where I'm going to find the time.
The kids are all excited about christmas, they learned the xmas songs and poems so fast and made that cute frame for their parents. A lot have been sick lately so it's been calm. Last tuesday and thursday Estrella wasn't there so I was on my own with the kids which I love. I feel important haha. I love kids so much, sometimes when I watch them play or when they cling onto me after they hurt themselves and I hug them, I find myself thinking I'd love to have my own child already, I love them so much. They make me forget everything, how much life sucks sometimes and how fucked up this world is. They are so innocent and pure, they are still in this world where everything is perfect, or at least almost everything, their only worry is for the color of their next toy car or doll's dress and they have fun with the smallest thing. I love my job, I don't see myself doing anything else. I hope I make it into that damn school next year >:o
Speaking of next year, Des (Lip_gl0ss_girl) and I just talked and I'm going to the states for 2 weeks to see her! They're doing a roadtrip to California with a few friends and she aksed me if I wanted to come so I said yes :D I'm excited about that now, Not only am I going to the states but I'm also meeting Des and going to Cali, wooo! lol So that's two weeks in July, I'll probably also go to France to see Geri then my dad paid for this two weeks safari in South Africa for the whole family so that's also two weeks over there in august. It's going to be a busy summer to say the least! I'm also going to London for a week next april with Coralie, Aline, Florence and probably Geri too. It's going to be fun.
I had something else to say but I don't remember now! Oh yeah, to those who gave me their address in my previous post, you should all get a card from me soon :) I'm going to bed for now, 4:13am and I'm still up.. tsk.