(no subject)
hmm...last week. tuesday was a library day. my mom began her class at the community center and when i came home around nine, she claimed she was obese. which, is ridiculous. anyway, they measured her body fat and she's borderline obese...but i honestly don't think so. and that's not because she's my mom. when i see people fatter than her i don't think they are obese, but apparently my perception is off. she weighs more than i thought she did, but what do i know. i seem to assume everyone has the same weight as me, but that is not true. i don't want her to become like the dumb caddy moms that i associate with people at the community center. yes, being in shape is good, but i really think she should do it herself. just, watch what she eats and work out. between outside and the rowing machine, i think she could do it. but, i suppose she is more comfortable with having someone tell her how to lose weight and measuring her body fat. i think i would look at this very differently if i didn't have such a high metabolism. and the ice rink outside the community center is one of the dumbest things i've ever heard of...it's a waste and when it melts it must be super muddy there. and if people wanted to ice skate, why couldn't they just go to the ice rink? and it's really small anyway. aye yae yae. wednesday, i don't remember. thursday sucked. friday i went to the mall, it's really nice to be there when no one else is. there wasn't a lot of stuff i wanted, but oh well. i like shopping alone. i also went to panera for the first time. when i came home, i went to the basketball game at halftime because it's free and hung out with katherin and lauren, among others. i brought my pink shash, which greatly amused katherin. afterward, i went to anna hankins with lauren and we went to blockbusta and got gossip. it was alright, kind of strange. i was tired. i called leigh a million times but she was too stupid to have her phone near her and i went to williams but couldn't muster the courage to ring the doorbell. i returned home and was accused of missing my "curfew", which i totally didn't.
on saturday i awakened and it was so warm out. i hung around and did a little work and talked to clare and then i tired to go to leigh stearns, but my dad said i had to think about how much it cost to go that far. and he said it seemed like a long trip just to see someone. when my mom came home, i talked to her about it and my dad overheard and told her that he already said no, so i shouldn't go. my mom clearly thought he was being ridiculous, but didn't do anything about it. i talked to her about it later and she said that i need to think about where i drive and blah blah blah and i told her he was restricting me because he felt like it and she said how else were they supposed to teach me things. unfortunately, i don't learn by being restricted. if anything, that makes me want to do whatever it was more.
anyway, there was a church meeting here and i avoided it at all costs. i talked to clare and she said how awful it is when i fight with my father, which annoyed me because she doesn't really get it. i deal with things completely differently than clare and erin and it's not the best way, but it's how i work. and, the fact that i am seventeen and she is twelve changes things. i went to the school to see leigh and then went to pick up lily and then we saw the play. it was alright, kind of long, but that's the way it goes. i sat next to mr guerra, which was completely the best part. at one point, his grand-daughter said really loudly that jimmy messed up again (i didn't hear anything) and it was cute. it's funny to see him in a family setting.
on sunday, i went to church and clare faked being sick and left early. and my mom was being dumb. sunday night i went to katherin's to watch the superbowl with lauren, lily, and kora. we had clam chowda and it was good. we giggled and talked about how much most people are dreading track because lynne is coaching and stuff. i don't care about being captain, i don't care about dealing with people, i just want to break 2:27. that's it. i'm basically doing this season to prove to myself that i can. i wish mr guerra was coaching, because i think he would push me harder and be a better coach in general, but i haven't had lynne as a head coach so who knows. and kora talked about how pissed she was that people want grace to fail and i actually agree. if grace beats people, it's okay, she works hard, she deserves it. i really admire her drive. lynne and a couple other people were criticizing grace after the basketball game on friday.
today, i woke up late. i brought honey nut cheerios in and a water bottle full of milk like a big geek, and as i poured the milk in, i realized there was a leak in the bottom. breakfast was not as good as i anticipated. my math test was really easy. after school, lily and i went on a run and then we ate lunch together. i'm sick of that bitchy girl at blimpies. sheish. when we ran, i got that awful desperate feeling in my body that makes me hate running. ugh...i haven't felt like that in so long, i usually only get it when i'm doing a hard workout or racing. i suppose it's an indication of how out of shape i am, but i'm doing my best. anyway, it was an enjoyable afternoon, the first one in a while.
and i have insane amounts of work to do, but i can't bring myself to do more than i have already. ugh.
i talked to dr melody this morning and he said butler will do anything to get me to go there and that it's comparable to northeastern, but northeastern might wait list me because i'm too good for them. but between those two, it's an all around better experience at northeastern. and...i don't know. he really doesn't want me to go to butler it seems. when i told my dad he overreacted and got mad and said that if i let dr melody influence my decision of where i want to go, i'll be making a big mistake. ...but he can apparently influence me. and talk about how dumb it would be to go to northeastern because it's twice the price. and it really feels like that's all he cares about, but i'm not really surprised anymore. he also told me it was silly for me to want to chose mary washington over elon because of running. and that track shouldn't really be a factor. it is to me, gad.
i asked both him and my mom to read a paper for me tonight, but they were too busy. i hate this meh paper, i can't write it. i hate that they won't help, i hardly ever ask them.
tomorrow is not looking to be promising.
on saturday i awakened and it was so warm out. i hung around and did a little work and talked to clare and then i tired to go to leigh stearns, but my dad said i had to think about how much it cost to go that far. and he said it seemed like a long trip just to see someone. when my mom came home, i talked to her about it and my dad overheard and told her that he already said no, so i shouldn't go. my mom clearly thought he was being ridiculous, but didn't do anything about it. i talked to her about it later and she said that i need to think about where i drive and blah blah blah and i told her he was restricting me because he felt like it and she said how else were they supposed to teach me things. unfortunately, i don't learn by being restricted. if anything, that makes me want to do whatever it was more.
anyway, there was a church meeting here and i avoided it at all costs. i talked to clare and she said how awful it is when i fight with my father, which annoyed me because she doesn't really get it. i deal with things completely differently than clare and erin and it's not the best way, but it's how i work. and, the fact that i am seventeen and she is twelve changes things. i went to the school to see leigh and then went to pick up lily and then we saw the play. it was alright, kind of long, but that's the way it goes. i sat next to mr guerra, which was completely the best part. at one point, his grand-daughter said really loudly that jimmy messed up again (i didn't hear anything) and it was cute. it's funny to see him in a family setting.
on sunday, i went to church and clare faked being sick and left early. and my mom was being dumb. sunday night i went to katherin's to watch the superbowl with lauren, lily, and kora. we had clam chowda and it was good. we giggled and talked about how much most people are dreading track because lynne is coaching and stuff. i don't care about being captain, i don't care about dealing with people, i just want to break 2:27. that's it. i'm basically doing this season to prove to myself that i can. i wish mr guerra was coaching, because i think he would push me harder and be a better coach in general, but i haven't had lynne as a head coach so who knows. and kora talked about how pissed she was that people want grace to fail and i actually agree. if grace beats people, it's okay, she works hard, she deserves it. i really admire her drive. lynne and a couple other people were criticizing grace after the basketball game on friday.
today, i woke up late. i brought honey nut cheerios in and a water bottle full of milk like a big geek, and as i poured the milk in, i realized there was a leak in the bottom. breakfast was not as good as i anticipated. my math test was really easy. after school, lily and i went on a run and then we ate lunch together. i'm sick of that bitchy girl at blimpies. sheish. when we ran, i got that awful desperate feeling in my body that makes me hate running. ugh...i haven't felt like that in so long, i usually only get it when i'm doing a hard workout or racing. i suppose it's an indication of how out of shape i am, but i'm doing my best. anyway, it was an enjoyable afternoon, the first one in a while.
and i have insane amounts of work to do, but i can't bring myself to do more than i have already. ugh.
i talked to dr melody this morning and he said butler will do anything to get me to go there and that it's comparable to northeastern, but northeastern might wait list me because i'm too good for them. but between those two, it's an all around better experience at northeastern. and...i don't know. he really doesn't want me to go to butler it seems. when i told my dad he overreacted and got mad and said that if i let dr melody influence my decision of where i want to go, i'll be making a big mistake. ...but he can apparently influence me. and talk about how dumb it would be to go to northeastern because it's twice the price. and it really feels like that's all he cares about, but i'm not really surprised anymore. he also told me it was silly for me to want to chose mary washington over elon because of running. and that track shouldn't really be a factor. it is to me, gad.
i asked both him and my mom to read a paper for me tonight, but they were too busy. i hate this meh paper, i can't write it. i hate that they won't help, i hardly ever ask them.
tomorrow is not looking to be promising.