ups and downs
ok, i just spent over 30 minutes updating my journal. and apparently it did not update. so it lost everything i typed. and i typed a lot, a whole lot, and i think i'm going to cry. and i can't call any of my friends because they're all at the movie and monica is at home sleeping (i just called her). and i really need someone. even jamie is having a horrible night because she just called me and everything went bad for her too tonight. maybe i'm just so exhausted. i'm going to try and type it again, but it won't be the same at all, it will just be a completely shortened version.
mardi gras was awesome. i'm so glad i got the chance to ride with so many great people (tiff, jamie, monica, dawnie, kelly, trey, and devin). the float finally came together at the last second, everyone was going staple crazy, but it looked pretty good. i didn't see as many people as i thought i would along the route. i did see sean, andrea, patrick, roz, christina, paul, and jonathan, and tommy's mom, and mrs. fenner's daughter, and a whole bunch of other random people that i didn't expect to see. oh yea, and josh, an ex of mine. which was really cool because i haven't seen him in so long. and of course all my friends and family. but the day was amazing, and i think everyone should ride in a parade at least once because it's such a fun experience. the only disappointing part is now. i am completely bummed. i don't know if it's because i'm tired, or because i didn't see everyone i expected to see, or if it's because of the feather boa (you had to be there), or because i'm not going to the movies with my girls tonight, or what. it's such a let down to go from a fast paced great day to a slow-moving evening.
i'm also bummed about not having my best guy friend here. i really need one of those right now, and mine's in germany for the next 2 years. usually it doesn't matter, but right now it does. i like having someone outside of my girl friends that knows me better than i know myself.
i learned this weekend that i see the world through rose-colored glasses. some people might think it's a bad thing, but i believe it's good. i like seeing the good in everyone; i like accepting people straight up for who they are; i like being able to trust people i meet, not because they give me a reason to trust them but just because they are fellow humans and possess a certain amount of decency and honesty. i'm not in denial about there existing bad people in this world. but i'm glad i don't focus on the negative aspects of everyone around me.
you know what. i'm tired of being the side-kick or the best friend. i really like it, but right now i want more. but unfortunately i always like the wrong people at the wrong time. and i have recently been told that i am very tomboyish so i'm sure that doesn't help the situation.
now i'm upset and disappointed in myself for being so ridiculously sulky. it's a waste of my time to be sulky.
i'm happy to be going back to school on thursday. i like the everyday college routine i have. i enjoy seeing the same people everyday. it makes life comfortable.
my favorite moment of the weekend:
(monica, jamie, and i were sitting around the kitchen table at jamie's house eating pizza and drinking some stuff)
Me: jamie, you would so love these people!
Jamie: they sound like really big potheads!
Monica: they are!
Me: what?! no way, that's crazy talk!
i still have my face paint on from the parade.
some last minute remarks before i go:
- liking someone who likes someone else really sucks
- it's fun seeing people from grammar school
- monica always knows when to wake up when i need her
- it's not just this time, it's every time!
- they don't smoke it like they're eating chocolate or anything
- it's rough
time for a long hot bath and lots of sleep. i have tons of hmwk to do tomorrow. sweet dreams.
mardi gras was awesome. i'm so glad i got the chance to ride with so many great people (tiff, jamie, monica, dawnie, kelly, trey, and devin). the float finally came together at the last second, everyone was going staple crazy, but it looked pretty good. i didn't see as many people as i thought i would along the route. i did see sean, andrea, patrick, roz, christina, paul, and jonathan, and tommy's mom, and mrs. fenner's daughter, and a whole bunch of other random people that i didn't expect to see. oh yea, and josh, an ex of mine. which was really cool because i haven't seen him in so long. and of course all my friends and family. but the day was amazing, and i think everyone should ride in a parade at least once because it's such a fun experience. the only disappointing part is now. i am completely bummed. i don't know if it's because i'm tired, or because i didn't see everyone i expected to see, or if it's because of the feather boa (you had to be there), or because i'm not going to the movies with my girls tonight, or what. it's such a let down to go from a fast paced great day to a slow-moving evening.
i'm also bummed about not having my best guy friend here. i really need one of those right now, and mine's in germany for the next 2 years. usually it doesn't matter, but right now it does. i like having someone outside of my girl friends that knows me better than i know myself.
i learned this weekend that i see the world through rose-colored glasses. some people might think it's a bad thing, but i believe it's good. i like seeing the good in everyone; i like accepting people straight up for who they are; i like being able to trust people i meet, not because they give me a reason to trust them but just because they are fellow humans and possess a certain amount of decency and honesty. i'm not in denial about there existing bad people in this world. but i'm glad i don't focus on the negative aspects of everyone around me.
you know what. i'm tired of being the side-kick or the best friend. i really like it, but right now i want more. but unfortunately i always like the wrong people at the wrong time. and i have recently been told that i am very tomboyish so i'm sure that doesn't help the situation.
now i'm upset and disappointed in myself for being so ridiculously sulky. it's a waste of my time to be sulky.
i'm happy to be going back to school on thursday. i like the everyday college routine i have. i enjoy seeing the same people everyday. it makes life comfortable.
my favorite moment of the weekend:
(monica, jamie, and i were sitting around the kitchen table at jamie's house eating pizza and drinking some stuff)
Me: jamie, you would so love these people!
Jamie: they sound like really big potheads!
Monica: they are!
Me: what?! no way, that's crazy talk!
i still have my face paint on from the parade.
some last minute remarks before i go:
- liking someone who likes someone else really sucks
- it's fun seeing people from grammar school
- monica always knows when to wake up when i need her
- it's not just this time, it's every time!
- they don't smoke it like they're eating chocolate or anything
- it's rough
time for a long hot bath and lots of sleep. i have tons of hmwk to do tomorrow. sweet dreams.