Someone needs to run this game right fucking now (Monsters and Other Childish Things)
"Have you ever secretly wanted to be best friends with a magical unicorn? His name would be Dewdrop, and he would talk to you with his thoughts, and he would carry you on his back away from all the bullies and parents and kids who don’t get you, and you’d have such wonderful adventures!
This game is pretty much like that. Except if you drew Dewdrop on your Trapper Keeper, they would send you to the principal’s office, then to the school counselor, and then probably to a place with a name like Morning Meadows Home for Disturbed and Psychotic Youth. Dewdrop has too many dimensions and can gouge bleeding wounds in reality with his infinitely fractal horn. His dainty hooves burn the floor, and his breath makes Mrs. Wombatson’s prize petunias wilt and shrivel.
But he really is your best friend.
Dewdrop’s not too keen on Flytrap Joe. Another kid at school is friends with this other monster that looks like a huge Venus flytrap that just pops out of the ground whenever he’s needed. Dewdrop hates Flytrap Joe. When Flytrap Joe’s around, Dewdrop paws the ground and mumbles obscenities to make a prehuman mariner of the elder depths wince and look uncomfortable. Dewdrop wants to eat Flytrap Joe’s stupid face off and spit out the seeds.
And you know what? Despite the fact that you sort of like the kid who’s friends with Flytrap, you’re starting to agree with Dewdrop. Flytrap Joe is a jerkwad, and somebody might ought to tell him so.
Sometimes when Dewdrop really gets mad, it kind of rubs off on you."
This game is pretty much like that. Except if you drew Dewdrop on your Trapper Keeper, they would send you to the principal’s office, then to the school counselor, and then probably to a place with a name like Morning Meadows Home for Disturbed and Psychotic Youth. Dewdrop has too many dimensions and can gouge bleeding wounds in reality with his infinitely fractal horn. His dainty hooves burn the floor, and his breath makes Mrs. Wombatson’s prize petunias wilt and shrivel.
But he really is your best friend.
Dewdrop’s not too keen on Flytrap Joe. Another kid at school is friends with this other monster that looks like a huge Venus flytrap that just pops out of the ground whenever he’s needed. Dewdrop hates Flytrap Joe. When Flytrap Joe’s around, Dewdrop paws the ground and mumbles obscenities to make a prehuman mariner of the elder depths wince and look uncomfortable. Dewdrop wants to eat Flytrap Joe’s stupid face off and spit out the seeds.
And you know what? Despite the fact that you sort of like the kid who’s friends with Flytrap, you’re starting to agree with Dewdrop. Flytrap Joe is a jerkwad, and somebody might ought to tell him so.
Sometimes when Dewdrop really gets mad, it kind of rubs off on you."