Admissions
Title: Admissions
Author: LaughtersMelody
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Avengers
Disclaimer: The Avengers don't belong to me, and if Clint and Natasha happen to go missing, it's not my fault. Honest. *looks innocent*
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Implied Clint/Natasha
Type: One-shot
Spoilers: General spoilers for the movie.
Characters: Natasha
Secondary Characters: N/A
Summary: Natasha reflects on Loki's interrogation, and the uncomfortable feelings she is reluctant to face.
A/N: Clint and Natasha have quickly become one of my favorite pairings. I love the dynamic between them, and I was especially fascinated by Natasha's questioning of Loki. I couldn't resist the chance to write about it.
As always, I thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who is the source of all inspiration.
I hope you enjoy this, and please let me know what you think!
~*~*~*~*~
Admissions
Natasha wanted to say that it had all been an act. She wanted to say that Loki had needed to believe he'd made her vulnerable, so she'd played up to his expectations.
And she had; it was what she'd been trained to do.
But, the best lies always had some truth in them, and she could admit - to herself, at least - that the horror she felt at Loki's words…that had been very, very real.
Only she hadn't been afraid for herself. She'd been afraid for Clint.
Barton's been compromised.
The questions she'd asked Loki had been a ploy, a ruse. Loki had known everything Clint knew about her, and she'd been able to exploit that. But that didn't mean that she hadn't wanted to hear the answers to the questions she'd asked. She'd needed to know just what affects Loki's powers would have…if Clint's mind was still whole…if there was a chance that she could save him.
Loki had assured her that Clint was still in there, trapped, even if that assurance had been wrapped in cruelty:
I won't touch Barton, not until I make him kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. Then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull!
It hadn't happened that way, but Loki's threats had played out in her imagination a hundred times just the same.
She could see it all perfectly…Clint - but not Clint - raising his knife, and starting to cut…the wounds themselves less painful than the fact that Clint - but not Clint - was the one wielding the blade. It would have been slow, and brutal, and bloody, and when it was over, she knew exactly what his scream would have sounded like when he woke up and realized what he'd done: raw and broken and primal and filled with everything he'd never said…everything he didn't have to say.
Clint wouldn't have fought the death blow when it came; she wondered if Loki realized he'd been promising a mercy then, when he'd sworn that he would kill Clint too.
The other scenario, the one she'd stubbornly refused to consider, haunted her just as much, because it would have ended with her standing over Clint, his sightless eyes staring up at her, the electric blue fading from his gaze just in time for him to realize that she had dealt the fatal blow.
That was what Loki had done to her, that was why she had wanted to wade into a war, because she could deal with the thought of her own grizzly death, but Clint's death…Clint's pain…that was something else.
Is this love, Agent Romanoff?
Maybe, if she were honest, it was the answer to that question that frightened her most of all.
Fin
~*~*~*~*~
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, and please let me know what you think!
Take care and God bless!
-Laughter
Author: LaughtersMelody
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Avengers
Disclaimer: The Avengers don't belong to me, and if Clint and Natasha happen to go missing, it's not my fault. Honest. *looks innocent*
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Implied Clint/Natasha
Type: One-shot
Spoilers: General spoilers for the movie.
Characters: Natasha
Secondary Characters: N/A
Summary: Natasha reflects on Loki's interrogation, and the uncomfortable feelings she is reluctant to face.
A/N: Clint and Natasha have quickly become one of my favorite pairings. I love the dynamic between them, and I was especially fascinated by Natasha's questioning of Loki. I couldn't resist the chance to write about it.
As always, I thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who is the source of all inspiration.
I hope you enjoy this, and please let me know what you think!
~*~*~*~*~
Admissions
Natasha wanted to say that it had all been an act. She wanted to say that Loki had needed to believe he'd made her vulnerable, so she'd played up to his expectations.
And she had; it was what she'd been trained to do.
But, the best lies always had some truth in them, and she could admit - to herself, at least - that the horror she felt at Loki's words…that had been very, very real.
Only she hadn't been afraid for herself. She'd been afraid for Clint.
Barton's been compromised.
The questions she'd asked Loki had been a ploy, a ruse. Loki had known everything Clint knew about her, and she'd been able to exploit that. But that didn't mean that she hadn't wanted to hear the answers to the questions she'd asked. She'd needed to know just what affects Loki's powers would have…if Clint's mind was still whole…if there was a chance that she could save him.
Loki had assured her that Clint was still in there, trapped, even if that assurance had been wrapped in cruelty:
I won't touch Barton, not until I make him kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. Then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull!
It hadn't happened that way, but Loki's threats had played out in her imagination a hundred times just the same.
She could see it all perfectly…Clint - but not Clint - raising his knife, and starting to cut…the wounds themselves less painful than the fact that Clint - but not Clint - was the one wielding the blade. It would have been slow, and brutal, and bloody, and when it was over, she knew exactly what his scream would have sounded like when he woke up and realized what he'd done: raw and broken and primal and filled with everything he'd never said…everything he didn't have to say.
Clint wouldn't have fought the death blow when it came; she wondered if Loki realized he'd been promising a mercy then, when he'd sworn that he would kill Clint too.
The other scenario, the one she'd stubbornly refused to consider, haunted her just as much, because it would have ended with her standing over Clint, his sightless eyes staring up at her, the electric blue fading from his gaze just in time for him to realize that she had dealt the fatal blow.
That was what Loki had done to her, that was why she had wanted to wade into a war, because she could deal with the thought of her own grizzly death, but Clint's death…Clint's pain…that was something else.
Is this love, Agent Romanoff?
Maybe, if she were honest, it was the answer to that question that frightened her most of all.
Fin
~*~*~*~*~
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, and please let me know what you think!
Take care and God bless!
-Laughter