Fic: Good to be Home
Title: Good to be Home
Author: laughter_now
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 7.555 words
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Star Trek franchise. I merely own this ever-sprawling 'verse I can't stop writing in.
Warnings: Sex. And schmoop. And a bit of frustration. Frustrated schmoopy sex, probably.
Summary: They say doctors make the worst patients. As far as Leonard is concerned, they definitely make the most frustrated patients when there's no sign of progress in sight. But Leonard is lucky, because Jim knows just how to make Leonard focus on something other than his frustration.
A second epilogue of sorts to Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder.
A/N: I'm still struggling a little to get back to proper fic writing, so in order to push myself a little I thought I'd revisit my favourite 'verse. Especially since I realized that Jim and Bones never got to really...reunite in that story, if you know what I mean.
This can be seen as a second epilogue of Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder, and is set a little after the first epilogue. I guess it can be read even if you haven't read Absence first (although, why don't you give it a shot?). What you need to know to get the context is that Bones was temporarily reassigned away from Enterprise, and thanks to the screw-ups of a greedy Admiral, the space station he was aboard of was attacked by Klingons. BAMF that he is, Bones managed to save the day, but he got hurt in the process. This little piece picks up after Jim and Bones are reunited back aboard Enterprise. Nearly two months apart and one near-death experience need to be dealt with, after all.
Good to be Home
The pressure was increasing steadily, but Leonard grit his teeth against it. Just a little more. He could take some more. Even as pressure turned into pain, and his medical mind was aware that it was his body's way of warning him that the abuse was too much, Leonard didn't give in.
Just a little more.
He needed some progress, damn it.
He could take a little pain to get there.
But then the pain suddenly turned sharp and blinding, and he flinched away with a sharp hiss that he wasn't able to hold back.
"Bones?" Jim's voice sounded worried, almost hesitant. "What's wrong?"
Leonard shook his head with a tired sigh, bringing his good hand up to his shoulder to massage at the aching muscles. Jim stopped putting backwards pressure on Leonard's arm and released his grip on Leonard's bicep. His other hand slid to the middle of Leonard's back.
"Bones?"
"It's okay, Jim. It was just a bit much."
"I hurt you." It wasn't a question, and the initial worry in Jim's voice was fading away into the first traces of anger. Inwardly, Leonard braced himself for the unavoidable outburst.
"Fuck, Bones, you know what M'Benga said! The exercises aren't supposed to hurt, and the only reason why he even agreed to let me do them with you outside of Medical is that you promised not to overexert yourself!"
And damn if Leonard didn't feel a bit sheepish about the whole thing. He knew that Jim was right, that M'Benga was right, and that they both only wanted what was best for him. But he also knew that he had been through what felt like countless PT and rotation exercises for his arm and shoulder, and there had been next to no progress over the past days. The first sims had gone well as far as his fine motor skills were concerned, but he still couldn't rotate his arm fully, and could only lift it about halfway of his normal range before it started to hurt, and he was damn well fed up with it. And that was something neither Jim nor M'Benga could understand.
"It won't get any better if I don't push myself a little. I'm a doctor, damn it, I know how much I can take."
Leonard hated how petulant he sounded, but contrary to what he expected, Jim didn't yell right back at him. Maybe it would have been easier if he had. Instead, Jim breathed a resigned sigh.
"The only thing you're pushing is a setback, and that's the last thing your or I want. We won't even be back in space for another few days, and you're already cleared for light duty. You need to give it time, Bones."
It was all too much. Leonard's frustration was rising, and he knew he was about to let it out on Jim. And Jim was the last person who should find himself at the receiving end of that. But he was feeling too raw, too exposed, and right now Jim was too close. It felt like his whole body was itching, and he needed to get away, get out of here before he snapped.
Jim's hand slid down his back as he got up, leaving a lingering trail of warmth along his skin. Leonard went over towards the dresser and grabbed a clean pair of boxers from the drawer.
"What I need right now is a shower."
He didn't turn to look back at Jim, didn't want to turn and face the expression his words had put there. His shoulders sagged as the bathroom door slid close behind him, and for a few seconds he simply stood there and breathed deeply. It felt a little easier here, away from Jim and that look of sad understanding in his eyes that was proof of his own failure to get back to normal.
Eventually, Leonard turned on the shower, stripped down and stepped under the hot spray.
He knew that he was being unfair to Jim. His husband had been nothing but supportive and understanding ever since he had been released from Medical after the events at the Bragan outpost. Jim had been there every step along the way, and he had borne all of Leonard's moods and his fits of frustration over the past two weeks. He damn well hadn't earned to be on the receiving end of Leonard's petty outbreaks of frustration.
Leonard sighed again and leaned his forehead against the cold tiles as the hot water pounded against his back.
Rationally, he knew that his progress was well within the normal parameters. His fine motor skills were improving slowly but steadily, the surgery sims were going well, and right now there was no medical reason to believe that the motor skills in his arm and shoulder wouldn't be restored completely. It wasn't even his dominant arm that was affected. He'd probably be back on fully duty soon enough. It was just…there was no tangible progress right now, and it was frustrating.
In turn, he was letting that frustration out on Jim, and it wasn't Jim's fault that he had gotten hurt. It wasn't Jim's fault that he couldn't lift his left arm, not Jim's fault that he could only wash his hair with one hand and still needed help with some of the most mundane tasks like putting on a shirt.
On the contrary, Jim had stood by him every step along the way, without complaining just once, even though Leonard had given him plenty of reason to do so. Tried to provoke it, really, if he was honest with himself.
Oh, damn it.
Leonard rinsed the last suds out of his hair and off his body and stepped out of the shower. Toweling off was another of those things that didn't work the way he was used to. There were still moments when he forgot about his injury for a moment, made a wrong movement and was rewarded by a sharp pain spreading through his entire shoulder and arm. Toweling his body dry with his good arm, he shrugged into the clean boxers. Drying his hair with only one working arm was even more awkward, but over the past weeks Leonard had learned to accept the fact that his hair stayed uncomfortably wet after every shower.
In front of the bathroom door, he stopped for a second and took a deep breath. Jim was waiting for him in their bedroom, and going out there undoubtedly meant that they'd pick up their conversation where they had left off before Leonard's dramatic exit. That wasn't exactly the kind of an end to a discussion that Jim was ever willing to accept.
Just great.
But it wasn't like he had much choice. He'd best face this head-on, before it had any chance to fester. Jim had earned better than that.
His hair was still wet and he kept rubbing at it one-handedly as he stepped out of the bathroom and into their bedroom. Jim was still sitting on the bed, his back against the headboard and a PADD in his lap. He put the PADD on the bedside table as Leonard sat down on his side of the bed with a sigh.
"I'm sorry, Jim. I'm getting frustrated, and I shouldn't let that out on you."
There was the rustling of blankets and the mattress shifted as Jim knelt down behind him and reached for the towel that was resting on Leonard's shoulders. He pressed a kiss against Leonard's neck, then started to rub at his still dripping hair with the towel.
"It's okay, Bones."
"No, it's not. You haven't earned that I give you crap for trying to be reasonable for once in your life."
Jim snorted and have Leonard's hair a last vigorous rub before he threw the damp towel into the direction of the laundry chute and carded his fingers through Leonard's hair in an attempt to smooth it down. His voice, when he spoke, was laced with underlying amusement, which Leonard decided to take as a good sign.
"I guess there's some truth to the whole idea of karma, and this is payback for all the times I was giving you grey hairs trying to push my own recovery. It's okay, Bones. Really."
Leonard sighed and tiredly leaned his head against Jim's shoulder.
"I'm just fed up, Jim."
Jim wrapped an arm around Leonard's waist and pulled him closer. "Last I heard you talk to Geoffrey, he said your recovery was going well."
Leonard snorted. "Yeah. So well that I still can't dry my hair on my own."
"Hey, that's why you keep me around. Let me help, Bones. Don't try to force things along; it's only been a bit more than two weeks."
Jim was right, and rationally Leonard knew that his husband was right. It was just so damn hard to keep that in mind when Jim helped him through another session of motion and rotation exercises without a sign of improvement.
"I know."
Jim's arm tightened around his waist and Leonard watched as Jim intertwined their fingers and squeezed his hand. Their wedding rings reflected the room's lights, and Leonard felt slightly calmed by the sight. It had taken over a week before the swelling in his fingers had gone down enough for Jim to put his wedding ring back on his finger where it belonged. Ever since then, he repeatedly caught himself feeling for the ring, reassuring himself that it was still there. The ring had always meant the world to Leonard, and maybe he should finally start seeing the fact that he could wear it again as the sign of progress that it was.
Jim was right. He had come a long way since his injury already, and as a doctor he knew that not every recovery went as quickly as the patients liked. He really wanted to be back at one hundred percent as soon as possible, but that wasn't going to work out. Not if he tried to force it, at least.
"I'm sorry, Jim."
Jim smiled and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Don't be. Just don't shut me out, Bones. And don't try to force things along. I don't particularly fancy visiting you in Medical again. Two weeks ago, M'Benga was about to declare me their official mascot."
That brought a smile to Leonard's face, and he leaned in for a kiss. Jim's lips were soft under his, immediately yielding as Leonard deepened the kiss and slid his good hand into Jim's hair to pull him closer. Jim had been in the shower earlier, but by now the short strands were dry and soft between his fingers as he held Jim close to himself.
This was the main thing. Having Jim close to him like this once more after nearly two months of being apart was what mattered most. Due to the screw-ups of an arrogant admiral and a bunch of Klingon marauders they had nearly lost this, and Leonard wasn't even willing to contemplate that possibility. They belonged together, the rest of the universe be damned.
Jim made a soft sound in the back of his throat as Leonard shifted them, but without thought he moved along, guiding them onto their backs. Leonard noticed the way Jim kept his hand on his shoulder blade so that the movement didn't jar Leonard's injury. It was unnecessary, really, since most of the pain Leonard still experienced came from moving his arm wrongly, but it was one of the small, protective - and sometimes overprotective - gestures Leonard knew Jim simply couldn't help himself about.
But Leonard was unwilling to break the kiss in order to start any more discussions about what his body could and couldn't handle. And right now, his body could definitely handle being this close to his husband, Jim's skin warm against his own as they lay entangled on the bed.
They hadn't had that in far too long, and Leonard reveled in the feeling of Jim's skin under his hands as he roamed them across Jim's back. He felt himself harden in his boxers at the prolonged contact, and this time he didn't want to back down and stop like they had done the previous days. Jim had been practically glued to Leonard's side since his release from Medical, but so far his injury had stopped them from going any farther than kissing and holding each other, no matter how much both of them craved more.
It was another of those things that Jim had taken in stride, no matter how much they both wanted it, and no matter how often Leonard offered to at least provide some relief to Jim. Raised pulse and blood pressure still caused his shoulder to throb, but he figured that wasn't something Jim had to suffer from, as well. Jim refused, but Leonard didn't want to wait any longer. He needed to feel Jim, as close as possible, any discomfort be damned. The benefits would definitely outweigh everything else, and Leonard was damn well done with being patient.
Not breaking the kiss, Leonard shifted underneath Jim, rubbing his thigh against the front of Jim's briefs. Jim broke the kiss with a moan.
"Bones…"
Sliding his hands down Jim's back, he cupped Jim's ass with his hands and pulled him down more firmly, rubbing his thigh against the growing hardness in Jim's briefs.
"Bones, I…"
"I want you, Jim." Leonard rasped out, trailing a line of kisses down his husband's jaw. "I need to feel you."
Jim withdrew, reluctantly if Leonard was the one to judge, and stared down at Leonard. "You sure?"
Leonard rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm sure. I think I'm old enough to know what I want."
"What about your shoulder?"
"Screw my shoulder."
The moment the words had left his mouth, Leonard knew it had been the wrong thing to say. Jim looked at him for a second, then he threw his head back and laughed.
"I know I always say I'll try everything once, but I think I'd have to draw the line at that."
Leonard felt his own laughter rise, and he pulled Jim down for another long kiss.
"Forget about my shoulder," he panted as they broke apart. "I want to feel you, Jim. It's been too long."
He saw the glimmer in his husband's eyes at those words, and he knew Jim well enough to read the signs and know when he was about to give in. He nudged Jim's chin with his nose.
"Hey. Doctor's orders, Jim. Or is this some kinky attempt to make me beg?"
The grin that spread across Jim's face at those words was almost feral. "Oh, I will make you beg before this is over. Trust me."
"That a promise?"
Jim smiled and leaned in for another quick peck against Leonard's lips. "And you know I always keep my promises." But then his expression sobered again. "On the condition that you'll tell me if it gets too much."
Leonard rolled his eyes, but forced himself to nod. It was too tantalizing to finally have Jim's body pressed this close against his own. He probably would have agreed to pretty much anything if only it meant that Jim would finally stop thinking so damn much about everything.
"Okay."
Jim seemed unconvinced. "You'll tell me if your shoulder starts hurting."
Leonard sighed. "Yes, Jim."
"Or if it starts throbbing."
"I'd rather prefer for something else to be throbbing, but the longer we sit here and talk, the less likely that's about to happen."
Jim rolled his eyes. "I'm worried, Bones."
"I know, and I get it. But right now I need this, Jim. I need you. So unless you're not in the mood…"
Again he pressed his thigh up against the front of Jim's briefs, drawing a moan from Jim's lips. It was just the right button to push, and he'd bet a month's salary that his husband knew he was being played, but just didn't care. He leaned in close, so close that their lips were just the fragment of an inch apart.
"Oh, I'm definitely in the mood", he whispered, and a shudder ran down Leonard's spine at the low, gravely tone of his voice. Their lips met again, determined now and with intent, and Leonard closed his eyes at the feeling of Jim's tongue sliding against his own. He let his injured arm rest against his side, hand splayed against the warm skin of Jim's hip, while his other hand roamed across Jim's back, feeling the shift of strong muscles under his fingers.
It was Jim who eventually broke the kiss, breath gushing hot and moist over Leonard's skin as he pressed a line of kisses down Leonard's face, jaw and neck.
"Jim…" Leonard groaned out, but his husband seemed determined to draw this out and take his sweet time in taking Leonard apart. He closed his eyes as his husband peppered his skin with kisses, moving in a hot and moist trail down his neck and across his chest. But instead of trailing down further, Jim kissed his way up towards his injured shoulder. Leonard's eyes flew open when suddenly, unexpectedly, Jim's lips trailed over the red welt on his skin that marked the place beneath his collarbone where the Klingon's blade had cut into him.
The wound had healed close by now, but the injury and subsequent infection had been too severe for a quick fix with the dermal regenerator. Leonard would probably always keep the scar from the blade, though it would fade in time. The only other way was excessive dermal regeneration, but he didn't even consider that possibility. If every scar had a story to tell, then this one served as a good warning as to what could happen if he and Jim were forced apart.
He closed his eyes with a groan as Jim continued to kiss and tease the sensitive skin with lips, tongue and teeth. It was a strange sensation, one Leonard wasn't quite sure about yet. But he knew instinctively that Jim needed this right now, that he felt the need to re-stake his claim on what Admiral Marlow and a bunch of Klingon marauders had nearly taken from him.
There was an edge of desperation to the act, a feeling Leonard felt resonate deep down in his own gut as Jim continued to kiss, tease and bite his way down Leonard's chest, pausing to suck and tease at his nipple in a way that had Leonard gasping and arching up into the touch.
He couldn't touch Jim the way he really wanted to, though, not with only one arm to run and roam freely across Jim's back and through his hair. As much as he wanted to just press Jim into the mattress and show him exactly how much he had missed him, tonight he was going to have to leave the lead to his husband. There was no way Leonard would be able to support himself over Jim, not on his injured arm, which did limit the options of how they were going to do this. But judged by the determination with which Jim was making his way down his body, he already had a plan.
Leonard definitely wasn't going to complain. Jim's tactical genius stretched far beyond his duties on Enterprise, after all.
Jim's skin was warm and smooth under his hands as he moved down Leonard's torso, kissing and licking a trail all the way to his navel. But instead of moving down just a few inches farther, instead of pulling down Leonard's boxers, Jim started moving up again. Leonard twitched as those lips and the lightly stubbled chin brushed against all his ticklish spots until finally Leonard couldn't take it anymore and pulled Jim up into a bruising kiss.
"Bones," Jim gasped, half a chuckle and half a moan as they finally came up for air, but before he could bring another word out Leonard pulled him down again, catching the plump bottom lip between his own, sucking at it with nearly enough force to bruise.
"Whatever you're planning to do," he growled out, satisfied at the shudder he felt run through Jim's body at the sound of his voice, "you'd damn well better stop teasing and get started."
Jim smiled down at him, one of those open and honest smiles that made the laugh-lines in the corners of his eyes stand out and made him look a lot younger than he really was. It was the kind of smile that made Leonard fall in love with him all over again each time.
"Told you that I'd make you beg," he chuckled and pressed a quick kiss against Leonard's lips before he leaned over towards the bedside table. It was hard to resist the temptation to just bury his face against that smooth expanse of skin in front of him and never let go again. After Jim hurried the hell up and they could finally get on with the I haven't touched you in nearly two months and I really need you to fuck me into the mattress now part of the evening was done, Leonard was seriously going to consider that option.
Which didn't mean that he was going to let Jim get away with just about anything, though.
"If you think that was begging, you've got another thing coming."
Tube of lube in hand, Jim leaned back over him, the impish smile still firmly in place. "Oh, I really hope so, Bones." He kissed him again, long and deep and demanding, while he reached down with one hand and rubbed against the erection that was straining against the front of Leonard's boxer shorts.
"How's the shoulder?" He asked, in the same lighthearted tone, though Leonard clearly heard the underlying serious notion of worry. And in all honesty, his shoulder was throbbing in time with his heartbeat, and his medical mind immediately provided facts about increased heart rate and raised blood pressure. But there was no real pain, only an uncomfortable reminder that his shoulder wasn't fully healed. It wasn't as if having sex was going to tear open the wound or anything. Jim just needed to hurry the hell up to provide some distraction.
"My shoulder is fine," he grumbled in between small kisses and nibs against his husband's bottom lip. "But there's other parts of me that are begging for attention."
Jim raised an eyebrow and his smile turned into a sly grin. "Oh, really? So now there is begging involved after all?"
"Jim…"
With one last kiss that was more than two wide smiles pressed against one another, Jim shimmied down Leonard's body again, leaving small kisses in his wake. When he reached the waistband of Leonard's boxer shorts, he looked up once more, blue eyes wide and filled with desire.
"You have no idea how much I missed this."
Leonard wanted to reply; the answer was already completely composed in his head and his brain had given his mouth the order to say it. But then Jim pulled down the waistband of his boxers down, and while Leonard was still able to lift his hips in order to help him move the boxers off, after that there was only suction and moisture and heat, and whatever coherent thoughts might have been waiting to be uttered died as his blood rushed south.
The groan that escaped his lips bordered on obscene, and Leonard opened his eyes even though he knew that the sight that was about to greet him would probably send him over the edge faster than he'd like.
Jim was kneeling between his legs, hands on Leonard's thighs and his dark blond head bowed as he swallowed Leonard's cock down as far as he could. As if he knew that Leonard was watching Jim looked up. Blue eyes met hazel, and Jim gave him a small grin around Leonard's cock. Then Jim's cheeks hollowed as he sucked and Leonard let his head fall back into the pillow with a groan.
"God, Jim…"
He couldn't remember how often he had dreamed of this during their weeks apart, how often he had dreamed of the feeling of Jim's mouth on him, longed to feel Jim inside of him or to be surrounded by his husband's tight heat. He definitely wasn't going to go without that ever again.
The sound of the cap of the lube being flipped open tore Leonard out of his blissful stupor. The tight wet heat of Jim's mouth left his cock, but the anticipation of what was to come kept him from complaining. Only when no touch of any kind was forthcoming did he bring up the almost superhuman effort to open his eyes. Jim was still kneeling between his legs, brow furrowed in concentration as he struggled to tear of the plastic seal of the brand new tube with blunt fingernails. As he watched, Jim finally succeeded with a triumphant grin in Leonard's direction.
Running a warm hand over Leonard's leg, Jim bent down and pressed a tender kiss against his thigh and gently pushed his legs apart. Without hesitation, Leonard let his legs fall open, shuddering at Jim's touch to the sensitive skin on his inner thighs.
"Do you have any idea how amazing you look right now, Bones?" Jim rasped, eyes darting from Leonard's face down his body and up again. "So open and receptive." He leaned down, but instead of closing his lips over the head of Leonard's cock again - like Leonard might have hoped he would - he placed a line of kisses along the juncture of his thigh and torso. When he spoke again, his breath gushed hotly over Leonard's cock, sending shivers down his spine.
"It's been too damn long, Bones. Too damn long since I've seen you like this, hard and leaking and just waiting for me to touch you. To taste you." His tongue darted out to catch a drop of precome from the head of Leonard's cock. "Do you know how many times during those weeks I woke up in the middle of the night, hard and aching because I dreamed of you?" He looked up at Leonard, and the raw and undisguised emotion in that blue gaze, the pure need and longing made the breath catch in Leonard's chest.
"Never again," Jim said, determination in his voice. "I'm never going to let you leave again, Bones."
Before Leonard had the chance to reply, Jim's expression softened again and he tenderly stroked his hands along Leonard's thighs.
"Want me to show you how much I missed you?"
The straining erection right in front of Jim should be answer enough to that question, but there were moments during which Leonard absolutely didn't mind giving Jim what he wanted to hear.
"Jim, please," he said and let his head fall back against the pillow. He distantly heard his husband chuckle, but was too aroused and too intent on Jim to finally start touching him to really care about it.
"Told you I'd have you beg before the night is over."
There was a multitude of possible replies to that statement, not all of them flattering, but Jim's lips closed around the head of his cock again and for once Leonard stopped caring about who'd get the last word. As Jim's mouth slowly descended on him, Leonard felt the first touch of cool, slippery fingers sliding gently over his balls and across his perineum, moving unhurriedly until they were circling his entrance.
Leonard let his legs fall open even wider, opening up to Jim's touch almost instinctively. Jim hummed around his cock, and Leonard couldn't help but moan at the pleasant shivers the vibrations sent up his spine. Jim's tongue was doing wonderful things, one moment tonguing his slit with his lips barely wrapped around the head of Leonard's cock, the next sliding down all the way to trace along the sensitive vein on its underside.
It was nearly too much, especially once Jim finally stopped circling his hole and slid a finger inside.
The sound of Leonard's moan mingled with Jim's as his husband let Leonard's cock slip from his lips and pressed his forehead against his thigh.
"You're so tight," Jim whispered almost reverently. "You have no idea how incredible you feel, Bones. So tight and hot around me, almost pulling me in like you can't wait for me to take you."
"Jim…" Leonard needed to feel Jim, but he was too far away to touch properly. But he needed to touch Jim in some way, needed to connect in as many places as possible. But the sensation of Jim's finger pressing into him fully shut off his higher brain functions, and all Leonard felt able to do was blindly reach out with his uninjured hand, desperate to reach for a shoulder, Jim's hair, anything he could hold on to.
Jim's free hand caught his unerringly, intertwining their fingers and running their joined hands up and down Leonard's side as he lowered his head over Leonard's cock again.
It was too much. Jim's mouth on him was creating the most incredible hot and moist suction, his tongue was moving across all the right places, and as he twisted that finger inside of him just right, Leonard arched his hips off the mattress with a shout that could probably be heard across half the deck.
Jim moved along as if he had anticipated the reaction instinctively, not letting off or giving Leonard any respite. Gently, he pushed a second finger inside along the first, and whatever capacity for higher thought Leonard might have had left went right out the window. His muscles melted into the mattress seemingly of their own accord, and all he could do was lie there and take whatever Jim was giving to him.
The fingers were moving inside of him, stretching him with that pleasant burn that he had missed so much over the past weeks. The intensity of it all was nearly too much, the fullness of two fingers sliding in and out with a third teasing at his entrance, Jim's mouth wrapped around his cock, and the fingers of his free hand still intertwined with Leonard's, squeezing back each and every time Leonard reflexively tightened his grip.
It was overwhelming, and it had been far too long. If Jim continued like this, Leonard wasn't going to last long. He tried to say as much, but the words got stuck in his throat as Jim chose that precise moment to graze his teeth along his shaft, spiking the pleasure so sharply that Leonard barely felt the burn of Jim's third finger pressing into him. A strangled moan escaped his lips and he squeezed Jim's hand so hard that his bones had to be grinding together.
"Jim," he panted as soon as he found his voice again. "Gotta stop…not…'m not gonna last."
Blue eyes turned towards him, the beacon that Leonard forever aligned his life to, and slowly, ever so slowly, Jim drew his mouth off Leonard's cock. The smile on his face was knowing, the kind of smile that said he had a plan, and everything was going accordingly.
"Let go, Bones," he replied, his voice pleasantly husky and his lips glistening with spit and precome. "Come for me. Don't hold back."
His tongue darted out again, swirling around the head of Leonard's cock once before his mouth descended onto him again. He was trying to push Leonard over the edge in earnest now, taking him as deep as he could one moment, only to tease the head of his cock mercilessly with his tongue the next. All the while his slick fingers were moving in and out of Leonard's channel, brushing against his prostate with every stroke, and in the end Leonard had no chance but to surrender himself to his husband's ministrations and simply let go.
He was distantly aware of the incoherent moans and grunts that passed over his lips. His hips were moving without conscious thought, up into the moist heat of Jim's mouth, and then back against those fingers inside of him, throwing him from one sensation into the other and back again. His climax was building forcefully, coiling up tightly inside of him like a tidal wave that was building up before it crested, and Leonard squeezed Jim's hand tightly as he felt that pleasant tension mounting inside of him.
Jim looked up at him then, another flash of those incredibly blue eyes straight into his own, and the undisguised desire in his gaze finally made the wave crest and pushed Leonard over the edge. Jim's fingers lingered, pushing against his prostate and his mouth closed tightly over Leonard's cock, and Leonard let go.
His orgasm hit him forcefully, stronger than anything he had experienced during those lonely hours while they had been apart. His legs jerked and his toes curled into the sheets, his hips arched off the bed as he came with a shout, his mind a jumbled mess of Jim and finally, please don't stop, never stop and love you, need you, need you so much.
He had no idea if he had said any of that out loud, but when he finally came back to himself, panting hard and his hand still intertwined tightly with Jim's, there was an awed expression on Jim's face that suggested he probably had.
Jim kept his mouth on him, sucking and milking him gently through the aftershocks, until Leonard's over-sensitized cock softened and he slowly pulled off. He slid his fingers out of Leonard next, leaving him a thoroughly debauched mess on the bed, muscles loose and entirely unable to move, panting hard with his heart beating a frantic pace against his ribcage. For a moment, Jim simply looked at him, like an artist contemplating a great piece he had created, and if Leonard had died at that moment, he wouldn't have been able to find a single thing to complain about.
His hand was still tightly twined with Jim's, and Jim gave it a gentle squeeze and brought it up to his mouth to press a tender kiss against his knuckles before he hesitantly loosened his grip and let go of Leonard's hand.
"Jim, please…" Leonard forced out, not really knowing what he was asking for, but desperately wanting and craving everything Jim was willing to give him. Still smiling, Jim moved his hands to the waistband of his briefs, and Leonard was startled to realize only now that his husband wasn't even naked yet. Jim's erection was outlined clearly against the thin fabric, and a large wet spot had formed around the tip.
"Just the way I wanted you," Jim said as he unceremoniously shrugged out of his briefs and freed his hard and leaking cock. "Spread open and completely relaxed, and yet you can't wait for me to be inside you. Isn't that so, Bones? You can't wait for me to push inside and fuck you into the mattress."
Leonard didn't know where he took the energy from, but he leaned up and reached for Jim, pulling him down on top of him and claiming his mouth in a kiss that was neither lazy nor satisfied.
"Less talking," he growled out against Jim's lips. "You're not the only one who's waited for this for weeks."
It was a small satisfaction to see that Jim's hands were shaking slightly as he reached for the discarded tube of lube and slicked himself up, eyes closed and his face intensely focused as if he was struggling hard not to jerk himself off right there.
It was a debauched sight, and Leonard bit his lip in anticipation as Jim let go of himself and shifted between his thighs. Leonard let his legs fall open wider as Jim aligned himself and started to push inside.
It burned pleasantly as Jim slid into him, but Leonard was too sated and relaxed to feel any discomfort, no matter that it had been a long time since they had last done this. His shoulder was throbbing in time with his rapid heartbeat, but if there was any lingering pain, there were too many endorphins coursing through him right now to feel it. All Leonard really felt was how Jim slowly but determinedly slid into him, and he crossed his legs behind Jim's thighs to pull him in even farther.
The expression on Jim's face as he slid inside was one of pure bliss, and once he had pushed all the way inside, he held himself over Leonard for a few long moments, breathing hard. When he finally opened his eyes and looked down at Leonard, his gaze was dark with barely concealed lust and longing.
"You're…god, you're so tight, Bones." He gave an experimental thrust, and with a groan Leonard tightened his legs around his husband's thighs, pulling him closer. "Not gonna last long."
Jim started to thrust into him in earnest then, his hips rolling into him in a fast and steady cadence, and Leonard let his head fall back against the pillow with a loud moan. Too fucking long since he had been able to feel Jim like this.
"Bones…"
Blindly, Leonard reached up and grasped the back of Jim's neck, pulling Jim's lips down against his. Leonard could still taste himself in Jim's mouth, and as their tongues slid together, Leonard pulled Jim down further, needing to feel Jim's skin against his own, and his weight pressing down on him as he thrust into him faster and faster.
Normally, Jim was very vocal in bed, always whispering and mumbling endearments or obscenities, sometimes both of it at once. Even during their last night together before Leonard had left for the Bragan System, he had whispered a constant stream of how much he loved him, how much he was going to miss him and didn't want him to leave into his skin for the entire night.
Tonight though, Jim was uncharacteristically silent as he thrust into him, eyes locked with Leonard's as they both moved along to the roll of Jim's hips. He was brushing against Leonard's prostate with almost every thrust, and the sensation was nearly too much so quickly after Leonard's own orgasm. Normally, Jim could bring him to hardness again like that, could ride him to a second climax like this if they just took enough time, but not tonight.
Tonight wasn't about endurance. It was all about being together again, and Jim pressed his lips down once more in another fervent kiss. Leonard tangled his hand in Jim's hair, holding him in place as he ran his injured hand up and down Jim's hip in small circles. Leonard didn't let Jim break the kiss, didn't let him move away until they were both gasping for breath in between the press of lips and thrusts of tongue.
Jim was getting close now. Jim could feel it in the urgent, almost desperate way he was rolling his hips against him. It had been too long for both of them, and tonight wasn't the time to be holding back. He tightened his muscles around Jim on the next thrust, smiling into the kiss as Jim groaned into his mouth. His thrusts were getting rapid and erratic, and he was panting hotly against Leonard's lips.
"Bones…Bones, I…oh god, Bones…"
He thrust into Leonard one last, forceful time and his body went still atop of him as he came with a loud groan. Leonard held him, stroked his hair and kissed and licked his lips as Jim rode out his climax. Jim gave a few more small and lazy thrusts before he sank down against Leonard's chest with a sated sigh. Leonard ran his hand through his husband's sweaty hair and pressed a kiss against his forehead.
"Bones," Jim mumbled, his breath fanning hotly over Leonard's chest. Leonard tried to pull him even closer, feeling Jim's rapid heartbeat pound against his own ribcage. Jim was almost boneless against him, blissfully sated in those moments after climax, and Leonard held him tightly until Jim shifted with a small sound of discomfort. Leonard loosened the hold his legs still had around his husband's thighs, and Jim slid out of him slowly before he curled up around against Leonard's side with a sound of utter contentment.
Leonard always felt a little bereft during those moments after Jim withdrew, empty after being connected to him this closely, and as if Jim sensed this he shifted even closer, sliding one leg atop of Leonard's so that they were pressed against each other from head to toe. They traded lazy, sated kisses for a few long minutes, until Jim nuzzled his head into the crook of Leonard's neck with a sigh.
"Missed this," Jim mumbled against the skin of his neck. "Missed you, Bones."
"I missed you, too."
He could have fallen asleep like that, warm and sated and with Jim curled up against him, but as he shifted into a more comfortable position something got stuck to his thigh. Reaching down between them, he peeled whatever it was off and lifted it up to examine it, frowning as he recognized it as the plastic seal Jim had torn off the tube of lubricant earlier. It reminded him that the lube was probably lying somewhere amongst the blankets, only waiting for an errant foot to hit it and squeeze it all out over their sheets. Strangely, Leonard found that he didn't really care. They had made a mess of the sheets, anyway, and he couldn't say he regretted a single thing.
Though the small plastic seal stirred a distant memory of the night before he had left for the Bragan system.
"Didn't we open a new tube of lube right before I left? What happened to that?"
Jim made a small, huffing sound against his neck that could have been a laugh.
"Remember what I said about all the times I woke up hard while you were gone? I wasn't lying about that."
Leonard thought about that for a second, then he withdrew until he could look into his husband's eyes.
"You needed a whole tube of lube for jerking off while I was gone?"
Jim raised his eyebrow at him, almost in challenge. "What was I supposed to do? I had needs, you were halfway across the galaxy and refused to have fun with me over the video-comm. I had no choice, really."
Leonard laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry. Had I known how bad things were for you, I'd have pushed aside my worries about the chance of one of the technical geniuses aboard this ship hacking into the feed to watch us. I'm sorry, Jim."
Jim cocked his head to the side, blue eyes regarding Leonard solemnly. "Don't tell me you didn't miss me, Bones."
Of course he had. Being without Jim had felt as if he was missing a limb. It had been especially hard during the nights, and he couldn't tell how many times he had jerked off in his bed, with his face buried in Jim's shirt. Or under the shower practically every morning. It was a good thing that medical lube came in small portioned packages that were delivered in large quantities which nobody ever bothered to count, otherwise Leonard would have had a lot of explaining to do during those weeks.
He looked at Jim for a moment longer, then leaned in and pressed a tender kiss between his eyebrows.
"You know I did, darlin'. Every minute of each day."
Jim's smile was blinding, as if he had really believed it possible that Leonard's answer could be different. He nuzzled his face back into its previous position against Leonard's neck, nose pressing against his pulse.
"Good. 'cause I'm not letting you leave again."
Leonard chuckled, one hand coming up almost instinctively to run through Jim's hair. "I have no intention of going anywhere."
"You'd better not."
Leonard smiled, feeling pleasantly drowsy and tired, perfectly all right with the world now that Jim was here with him. Sleep was tugging at the edges of his awareness, and he allowed his eyes to drift close as he gave in to its pull. He had almost drifted off when Jim's voice pulled him back to awareness again.
"How's the shoulder?"
Leonard chuckled and turned to his side so that he could wrap both arms tightly around his husband.
"My shoulder is fine."
He could feel Jim's lips pull into a smile against his skin. "Good. Just give it a few weeks. You'll be fine again in no time."
That was what M'Benga said, too. It was the same conclusion Leonard had come to after he reading his file. It was what all the test results suggested. But somehow, it was the conviction and determination in Jim's tired voice that finally convinced Leonard.
"I'll take care of you, Bones."
He was back home, where he belonged, and back with Jim. Everything else wasn't nearly as important as that. Everything else would fall into place. For now, he pressed a tender kiss against Jim's lips and closed his eyes with a sigh.
It was good to be home.
The End
Thanks for reading. As always, please let me know what you think. Thanks a lot.
Author: laughter_now
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 7.555 words
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Star Trek franchise. I merely own this ever-sprawling 'verse I can't stop writing in.
Warnings: Sex. And schmoop. And a bit of frustration. Frustrated schmoopy sex, probably.
Summary: They say doctors make the worst patients. As far as Leonard is concerned, they definitely make the most frustrated patients when there's no sign of progress in sight. But Leonard is lucky, because Jim knows just how to make Leonard focus on something other than his frustration.
A second epilogue of sorts to Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder.
A/N: I'm still struggling a little to get back to proper fic writing, so in order to push myself a little I thought I'd revisit my favourite 'verse. Especially since I realized that Jim and Bones never got to really...reunite in that story, if you know what I mean.
This can be seen as a second epilogue of Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder, and is set a little after the first epilogue. I guess it can be read even if you haven't read Absence first (although, why don't you give it a shot?). What you need to know to get the context is that Bones was temporarily reassigned away from Enterprise, and thanks to the screw-ups of a greedy Admiral, the space station he was aboard of was attacked by Klingons. BAMF that he is, Bones managed to save the day, but he got hurt in the process. This little piece picks up after Jim and Bones are reunited back aboard Enterprise. Nearly two months apart and one near-death experience need to be dealt with, after all.
Good to be Home
The pressure was increasing steadily, but Leonard grit his teeth against it. Just a little more. He could take some more. Even as pressure turned into pain, and his medical mind was aware that it was his body's way of warning him that the abuse was too much, Leonard didn't give in.
Just a little more.
He needed some progress, damn it.
He could take a little pain to get there.
But then the pain suddenly turned sharp and blinding, and he flinched away with a sharp hiss that he wasn't able to hold back.
"Bones?" Jim's voice sounded worried, almost hesitant. "What's wrong?"
Leonard shook his head with a tired sigh, bringing his good hand up to his shoulder to massage at the aching muscles. Jim stopped putting backwards pressure on Leonard's arm and released his grip on Leonard's bicep. His other hand slid to the middle of Leonard's back.
"Bones?"
"It's okay, Jim. It was just a bit much."
"I hurt you." It wasn't a question, and the initial worry in Jim's voice was fading away into the first traces of anger. Inwardly, Leonard braced himself for the unavoidable outburst.
"Fuck, Bones, you know what M'Benga said! The exercises aren't supposed to hurt, and the only reason why he even agreed to let me do them with you outside of Medical is that you promised not to overexert yourself!"
And damn if Leonard didn't feel a bit sheepish about the whole thing. He knew that Jim was right, that M'Benga was right, and that they both only wanted what was best for him. But he also knew that he had been through what felt like countless PT and rotation exercises for his arm and shoulder, and there had been next to no progress over the past days. The first sims had gone well as far as his fine motor skills were concerned, but he still couldn't rotate his arm fully, and could only lift it about halfway of his normal range before it started to hurt, and he was damn well fed up with it. And that was something neither Jim nor M'Benga could understand.
"It won't get any better if I don't push myself a little. I'm a doctor, damn it, I know how much I can take."
Leonard hated how petulant he sounded, but contrary to what he expected, Jim didn't yell right back at him. Maybe it would have been easier if he had. Instead, Jim breathed a resigned sigh.
"The only thing you're pushing is a setback, and that's the last thing your or I want. We won't even be back in space for another few days, and you're already cleared for light duty. You need to give it time, Bones."
It was all too much. Leonard's frustration was rising, and he knew he was about to let it out on Jim. And Jim was the last person who should find himself at the receiving end of that. But he was feeling too raw, too exposed, and right now Jim was too close. It felt like his whole body was itching, and he needed to get away, get out of here before he snapped.
Jim's hand slid down his back as he got up, leaving a lingering trail of warmth along his skin. Leonard went over towards the dresser and grabbed a clean pair of boxers from the drawer.
"What I need right now is a shower."
He didn't turn to look back at Jim, didn't want to turn and face the expression his words had put there. His shoulders sagged as the bathroom door slid close behind him, and for a few seconds he simply stood there and breathed deeply. It felt a little easier here, away from Jim and that look of sad understanding in his eyes that was proof of his own failure to get back to normal.
Eventually, Leonard turned on the shower, stripped down and stepped under the hot spray.
He knew that he was being unfair to Jim. His husband had been nothing but supportive and understanding ever since he had been released from Medical after the events at the Bragan outpost. Jim had been there every step along the way, and he had borne all of Leonard's moods and his fits of frustration over the past two weeks. He damn well hadn't earned to be on the receiving end of Leonard's petty outbreaks of frustration.
Leonard sighed again and leaned his forehead against the cold tiles as the hot water pounded against his back.
Rationally, he knew that his progress was well within the normal parameters. His fine motor skills were improving slowly but steadily, the surgery sims were going well, and right now there was no medical reason to believe that the motor skills in his arm and shoulder wouldn't be restored completely. It wasn't even his dominant arm that was affected. He'd probably be back on fully duty soon enough. It was just…there was no tangible progress right now, and it was frustrating.
In turn, he was letting that frustration out on Jim, and it wasn't Jim's fault that he had gotten hurt. It wasn't Jim's fault that he couldn't lift his left arm, not Jim's fault that he could only wash his hair with one hand and still needed help with some of the most mundane tasks like putting on a shirt.
On the contrary, Jim had stood by him every step along the way, without complaining just once, even though Leonard had given him plenty of reason to do so. Tried to provoke it, really, if he was honest with himself.
Oh, damn it.
Leonard rinsed the last suds out of his hair and off his body and stepped out of the shower. Toweling off was another of those things that didn't work the way he was used to. There were still moments when he forgot about his injury for a moment, made a wrong movement and was rewarded by a sharp pain spreading through his entire shoulder and arm. Toweling his body dry with his good arm, he shrugged into the clean boxers. Drying his hair with only one working arm was even more awkward, but over the past weeks Leonard had learned to accept the fact that his hair stayed uncomfortably wet after every shower.
In front of the bathroom door, he stopped for a second and took a deep breath. Jim was waiting for him in their bedroom, and going out there undoubtedly meant that they'd pick up their conversation where they had left off before Leonard's dramatic exit. That wasn't exactly the kind of an end to a discussion that Jim was ever willing to accept.
Just great.
But it wasn't like he had much choice. He'd best face this head-on, before it had any chance to fester. Jim had earned better than that.
His hair was still wet and he kept rubbing at it one-handedly as he stepped out of the bathroom and into their bedroom. Jim was still sitting on the bed, his back against the headboard and a PADD in his lap. He put the PADD on the bedside table as Leonard sat down on his side of the bed with a sigh.
"I'm sorry, Jim. I'm getting frustrated, and I shouldn't let that out on you."
There was the rustling of blankets and the mattress shifted as Jim knelt down behind him and reached for the towel that was resting on Leonard's shoulders. He pressed a kiss against Leonard's neck, then started to rub at his still dripping hair with the towel.
"It's okay, Bones."
"No, it's not. You haven't earned that I give you crap for trying to be reasonable for once in your life."
Jim snorted and have Leonard's hair a last vigorous rub before he threw the damp towel into the direction of the laundry chute and carded his fingers through Leonard's hair in an attempt to smooth it down. His voice, when he spoke, was laced with underlying amusement, which Leonard decided to take as a good sign.
"I guess there's some truth to the whole idea of karma, and this is payback for all the times I was giving you grey hairs trying to push my own recovery. It's okay, Bones. Really."
Leonard sighed and tiredly leaned his head against Jim's shoulder.
"I'm just fed up, Jim."
Jim wrapped an arm around Leonard's waist and pulled him closer. "Last I heard you talk to Geoffrey, he said your recovery was going well."
Leonard snorted. "Yeah. So well that I still can't dry my hair on my own."
"Hey, that's why you keep me around. Let me help, Bones. Don't try to force things along; it's only been a bit more than two weeks."
Jim was right, and rationally Leonard knew that his husband was right. It was just so damn hard to keep that in mind when Jim helped him through another session of motion and rotation exercises without a sign of improvement.
"I know."
Jim's arm tightened around his waist and Leonard watched as Jim intertwined their fingers and squeezed his hand. Their wedding rings reflected the room's lights, and Leonard felt slightly calmed by the sight. It had taken over a week before the swelling in his fingers had gone down enough for Jim to put his wedding ring back on his finger where it belonged. Ever since then, he repeatedly caught himself feeling for the ring, reassuring himself that it was still there. The ring had always meant the world to Leonard, and maybe he should finally start seeing the fact that he could wear it again as the sign of progress that it was.
Jim was right. He had come a long way since his injury already, and as a doctor he knew that not every recovery went as quickly as the patients liked. He really wanted to be back at one hundred percent as soon as possible, but that wasn't going to work out. Not if he tried to force it, at least.
"I'm sorry, Jim."
Jim smiled and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Don't be. Just don't shut me out, Bones. And don't try to force things along. I don't particularly fancy visiting you in Medical again. Two weeks ago, M'Benga was about to declare me their official mascot."
That brought a smile to Leonard's face, and he leaned in for a kiss. Jim's lips were soft under his, immediately yielding as Leonard deepened the kiss and slid his good hand into Jim's hair to pull him closer. Jim had been in the shower earlier, but by now the short strands were dry and soft between his fingers as he held Jim close to himself.
This was the main thing. Having Jim close to him like this once more after nearly two months of being apart was what mattered most. Due to the screw-ups of an arrogant admiral and a bunch of Klingon marauders they had nearly lost this, and Leonard wasn't even willing to contemplate that possibility. They belonged together, the rest of the universe be damned.
Jim made a soft sound in the back of his throat as Leonard shifted them, but without thought he moved along, guiding them onto their backs. Leonard noticed the way Jim kept his hand on his shoulder blade so that the movement didn't jar Leonard's injury. It was unnecessary, really, since most of the pain Leonard still experienced came from moving his arm wrongly, but it was one of the small, protective - and sometimes overprotective - gestures Leonard knew Jim simply couldn't help himself about.
But Leonard was unwilling to break the kiss in order to start any more discussions about what his body could and couldn't handle. And right now, his body could definitely handle being this close to his husband, Jim's skin warm against his own as they lay entangled on the bed.
They hadn't had that in far too long, and Leonard reveled in the feeling of Jim's skin under his hands as he roamed them across Jim's back. He felt himself harden in his boxers at the prolonged contact, and this time he didn't want to back down and stop like they had done the previous days. Jim had been practically glued to Leonard's side since his release from Medical, but so far his injury had stopped them from going any farther than kissing and holding each other, no matter how much both of them craved more.
It was another of those things that Jim had taken in stride, no matter how much they both wanted it, and no matter how often Leonard offered to at least provide some relief to Jim. Raised pulse and blood pressure still caused his shoulder to throb, but he figured that wasn't something Jim had to suffer from, as well. Jim refused, but Leonard didn't want to wait any longer. He needed to feel Jim, as close as possible, any discomfort be damned. The benefits would definitely outweigh everything else, and Leonard was damn well done with being patient.
Not breaking the kiss, Leonard shifted underneath Jim, rubbing his thigh against the front of Jim's briefs. Jim broke the kiss with a moan.
"Bones…"
Sliding his hands down Jim's back, he cupped Jim's ass with his hands and pulled him down more firmly, rubbing his thigh against the growing hardness in Jim's briefs.
"Bones, I…"
"I want you, Jim." Leonard rasped out, trailing a line of kisses down his husband's jaw. "I need to feel you."
Jim withdrew, reluctantly if Leonard was the one to judge, and stared down at Leonard. "You sure?"
Leonard rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm sure. I think I'm old enough to know what I want."
"What about your shoulder?"
"Screw my shoulder."
The moment the words had left his mouth, Leonard knew it had been the wrong thing to say. Jim looked at him for a second, then he threw his head back and laughed.
"I know I always say I'll try everything once, but I think I'd have to draw the line at that."
Leonard felt his own laughter rise, and he pulled Jim down for another long kiss.
"Forget about my shoulder," he panted as they broke apart. "I want to feel you, Jim. It's been too long."
He saw the glimmer in his husband's eyes at those words, and he knew Jim well enough to read the signs and know when he was about to give in. He nudged Jim's chin with his nose.
"Hey. Doctor's orders, Jim. Or is this some kinky attempt to make me beg?"
The grin that spread across Jim's face at those words was almost feral. "Oh, I will make you beg before this is over. Trust me."
"That a promise?"
Jim smiled and leaned in for another quick peck against Leonard's lips. "And you know I always keep my promises." But then his expression sobered again. "On the condition that you'll tell me if it gets too much."
Leonard rolled his eyes, but forced himself to nod. It was too tantalizing to finally have Jim's body pressed this close against his own. He probably would have agreed to pretty much anything if only it meant that Jim would finally stop thinking so damn much about everything.
"Okay."
Jim seemed unconvinced. "You'll tell me if your shoulder starts hurting."
Leonard sighed. "Yes, Jim."
"Or if it starts throbbing."
"I'd rather prefer for something else to be throbbing, but the longer we sit here and talk, the less likely that's about to happen."
Jim rolled his eyes. "I'm worried, Bones."
"I know, and I get it. But right now I need this, Jim. I need you. So unless you're not in the mood…"
Again he pressed his thigh up against the front of Jim's briefs, drawing a moan from Jim's lips. It was just the right button to push, and he'd bet a month's salary that his husband knew he was being played, but just didn't care. He leaned in close, so close that their lips were just the fragment of an inch apart.
"Oh, I'm definitely in the mood", he whispered, and a shudder ran down Leonard's spine at the low, gravely tone of his voice. Their lips met again, determined now and with intent, and Leonard closed his eyes at the feeling of Jim's tongue sliding against his own. He let his injured arm rest against his side, hand splayed against the warm skin of Jim's hip, while his other hand roamed across Jim's back, feeling the shift of strong muscles under his fingers.
It was Jim who eventually broke the kiss, breath gushing hot and moist over Leonard's skin as he pressed a line of kisses down Leonard's face, jaw and neck.
"Jim…" Leonard groaned out, but his husband seemed determined to draw this out and take his sweet time in taking Leonard apart. He closed his eyes as his husband peppered his skin with kisses, moving in a hot and moist trail down his neck and across his chest. But instead of trailing down further, Jim kissed his way up towards his injured shoulder. Leonard's eyes flew open when suddenly, unexpectedly, Jim's lips trailed over the red welt on his skin that marked the place beneath his collarbone where the Klingon's blade had cut into him.
The wound had healed close by now, but the injury and subsequent infection had been too severe for a quick fix with the dermal regenerator. Leonard would probably always keep the scar from the blade, though it would fade in time. The only other way was excessive dermal regeneration, but he didn't even consider that possibility. If every scar had a story to tell, then this one served as a good warning as to what could happen if he and Jim were forced apart.
He closed his eyes with a groan as Jim continued to kiss and tease the sensitive skin with lips, tongue and teeth. It was a strange sensation, one Leonard wasn't quite sure about yet. But he knew instinctively that Jim needed this right now, that he felt the need to re-stake his claim on what Admiral Marlow and a bunch of Klingon marauders had nearly taken from him.
There was an edge of desperation to the act, a feeling Leonard felt resonate deep down in his own gut as Jim continued to kiss, tease and bite his way down Leonard's chest, pausing to suck and tease at his nipple in a way that had Leonard gasping and arching up into the touch.
He couldn't touch Jim the way he really wanted to, though, not with only one arm to run and roam freely across Jim's back and through his hair. As much as he wanted to just press Jim into the mattress and show him exactly how much he had missed him, tonight he was going to have to leave the lead to his husband. There was no way Leonard would be able to support himself over Jim, not on his injured arm, which did limit the options of how they were going to do this. But judged by the determination with which Jim was making his way down his body, he already had a plan.
Leonard definitely wasn't going to complain. Jim's tactical genius stretched far beyond his duties on Enterprise, after all.
Jim's skin was warm and smooth under his hands as he moved down Leonard's torso, kissing and licking a trail all the way to his navel. But instead of moving down just a few inches farther, instead of pulling down Leonard's boxers, Jim started moving up again. Leonard twitched as those lips and the lightly stubbled chin brushed against all his ticklish spots until finally Leonard couldn't take it anymore and pulled Jim up into a bruising kiss.
"Bones," Jim gasped, half a chuckle and half a moan as they finally came up for air, but before he could bring another word out Leonard pulled him down again, catching the plump bottom lip between his own, sucking at it with nearly enough force to bruise.
"Whatever you're planning to do," he growled out, satisfied at the shudder he felt run through Jim's body at the sound of his voice, "you'd damn well better stop teasing and get started."
Jim smiled down at him, one of those open and honest smiles that made the laugh-lines in the corners of his eyes stand out and made him look a lot younger than he really was. It was the kind of smile that made Leonard fall in love with him all over again each time.
"Told you that I'd make you beg," he chuckled and pressed a quick kiss against Leonard's lips before he leaned over towards the bedside table. It was hard to resist the temptation to just bury his face against that smooth expanse of skin in front of him and never let go again. After Jim hurried the hell up and they could finally get on with the I haven't touched you in nearly two months and I really need you to fuck me into the mattress now part of the evening was done, Leonard was seriously going to consider that option.
Which didn't mean that he was going to let Jim get away with just about anything, though.
"If you think that was begging, you've got another thing coming."
Tube of lube in hand, Jim leaned back over him, the impish smile still firmly in place. "Oh, I really hope so, Bones." He kissed him again, long and deep and demanding, while he reached down with one hand and rubbed against the erection that was straining against the front of Leonard's boxer shorts.
"How's the shoulder?" He asked, in the same lighthearted tone, though Leonard clearly heard the underlying serious notion of worry. And in all honesty, his shoulder was throbbing in time with his heartbeat, and his medical mind immediately provided facts about increased heart rate and raised blood pressure. But there was no real pain, only an uncomfortable reminder that his shoulder wasn't fully healed. It wasn't as if having sex was going to tear open the wound or anything. Jim just needed to hurry the hell up to provide some distraction.
"My shoulder is fine," he grumbled in between small kisses and nibs against his husband's bottom lip. "But there's other parts of me that are begging for attention."
Jim raised an eyebrow and his smile turned into a sly grin. "Oh, really? So now there is begging involved after all?"
"Jim…"
With one last kiss that was more than two wide smiles pressed against one another, Jim shimmied down Leonard's body again, leaving small kisses in his wake. When he reached the waistband of Leonard's boxer shorts, he looked up once more, blue eyes wide and filled with desire.
"You have no idea how much I missed this."
Leonard wanted to reply; the answer was already completely composed in his head and his brain had given his mouth the order to say it. But then Jim pulled down the waistband of his boxers down, and while Leonard was still able to lift his hips in order to help him move the boxers off, after that there was only suction and moisture and heat, and whatever coherent thoughts might have been waiting to be uttered died as his blood rushed south.
The groan that escaped his lips bordered on obscene, and Leonard opened his eyes even though he knew that the sight that was about to greet him would probably send him over the edge faster than he'd like.
Jim was kneeling between his legs, hands on Leonard's thighs and his dark blond head bowed as he swallowed Leonard's cock down as far as he could. As if he knew that Leonard was watching Jim looked up. Blue eyes met hazel, and Jim gave him a small grin around Leonard's cock. Then Jim's cheeks hollowed as he sucked and Leonard let his head fall back into the pillow with a groan.
"God, Jim…"
He couldn't remember how often he had dreamed of this during their weeks apart, how often he had dreamed of the feeling of Jim's mouth on him, longed to feel Jim inside of him or to be surrounded by his husband's tight heat. He definitely wasn't going to go without that ever again.
The sound of the cap of the lube being flipped open tore Leonard out of his blissful stupor. The tight wet heat of Jim's mouth left his cock, but the anticipation of what was to come kept him from complaining. Only when no touch of any kind was forthcoming did he bring up the almost superhuman effort to open his eyes. Jim was still kneeling between his legs, brow furrowed in concentration as he struggled to tear of the plastic seal of the brand new tube with blunt fingernails. As he watched, Jim finally succeeded with a triumphant grin in Leonard's direction.
Running a warm hand over Leonard's leg, Jim bent down and pressed a tender kiss against his thigh and gently pushed his legs apart. Without hesitation, Leonard let his legs fall open, shuddering at Jim's touch to the sensitive skin on his inner thighs.
"Do you have any idea how amazing you look right now, Bones?" Jim rasped, eyes darting from Leonard's face down his body and up again. "So open and receptive." He leaned down, but instead of closing his lips over the head of Leonard's cock again - like Leonard might have hoped he would - he placed a line of kisses along the juncture of his thigh and torso. When he spoke again, his breath gushed hotly over Leonard's cock, sending shivers down his spine.
"It's been too damn long, Bones. Too damn long since I've seen you like this, hard and leaking and just waiting for me to touch you. To taste you." His tongue darted out to catch a drop of precome from the head of Leonard's cock. "Do you know how many times during those weeks I woke up in the middle of the night, hard and aching because I dreamed of you?" He looked up at Leonard, and the raw and undisguised emotion in that blue gaze, the pure need and longing made the breath catch in Leonard's chest.
"Never again," Jim said, determination in his voice. "I'm never going to let you leave again, Bones."
Before Leonard had the chance to reply, Jim's expression softened again and he tenderly stroked his hands along Leonard's thighs.
"Want me to show you how much I missed you?"
The straining erection right in front of Jim should be answer enough to that question, but there were moments during which Leonard absolutely didn't mind giving Jim what he wanted to hear.
"Jim, please," he said and let his head fall back against the pillow. He distantly heard his husband chuckle, but was too aroused and too intent on Jim to finally start touching him to really care about it.
"Told you I'd have you beg before the night is over."
There was a multitude of possible replies to that statement, not all of them flattering, but Jim's lips closed around the head of his cock again and for once Leonard stopped caring about who'd get the last word. As Jim's mouth slowly descended on him, Leonard felt the first touch of cool, slippery fingers sliding gently over his balls and across his perineum, moving unhurriedly until they were circling his entrance.
Leonard let his legs fall open even wider, opening up to Jim's touch almost instinctively. Jim hummed around his cock, and Leonard couldn't help but moan at the pleasant shivers the vibrations sent up his spine. Jim's tongue was doing wonderful things, one moment tonguing his slit with his lips barely wrapped around the head of Leonard's cock, the next sliding down all the way to trace along the sensitive vein on its underside.
It was nearly too much, especially once Jim finally stopped circling his hole and slid a finger inside.
The sound of Leonard's moan mingled with Jim's as his husband let Leonard's cock slip from his lips and pressed his forehead against his thigh.
"You're so tight," Jim whispered almost reverently. "You have no idea how incredible you feel, Bones. So tight and hot around me, almost pulling me in like you can't wait for me to take you."
"Jim…" Leonard needed to feel Jim, but he was too far away to touch properly. But he needed to touch Jim in some way, needed to connect in as many places as possible. But the sensation of Jim's finger pressing into him fully shut off his higher brain functions, and all Leonard felt able to do was blindly reach out with his uninjured hand, desperate to reach for a shoulder, Jim's hair, anything he could hold on to.
Jim's free hand caught his unerringly, intertwining their fingers and running their joined hands up and down Leonard's side as he lowered his head over Leonard's cock again.
It was too much. Jim's mouth on him was creating the most incredible hot and moist suction, his tongue was moving across all the right places, and as he twisted that finger inside of him just right, Leonard arched his hips off the mattress with a shout that could probably be heard across half the deck.
Jim moved along as if he had anticipated the reaction instinctively, not letting off or giving Leonard any respite. Gently, he pushed a second finger inside along the first, and whatever capacity for higher thought Leonard might have had left went right out the window. His muscles melted into the mattress seemingly of their own accord, and all he could do was lie there and take whatever Jim was giving to him.
The fingers were moving inside of him, stretching him with that pleasant burn that he had missed so much over the past weeks. The intensity of it all was nearly too much, the fullness of two fingers sliding in and out with a third teasing at his entrance, Jim's mouth wrapped around his cock, and the fingers of his free hand still intertwined with Leonard's, squeezing back each and every time Leonard reflexively tightened his grip.
It was overwhelming, and it had been far too long. If Jim continued like this, Leonard wasn't going to last long. He tried to say as much, but the words got stuck in his throat as Jim chose that precise moment to graze his teeth along his shaft, spiking the pleasure so sharply that Leonard barely felt the burn of Jim's third finger pressing into him. A strangled moan escaped his lips and he squeezed Jim's hand so hard that his bones had to be grinding together.
"Jim," he panted as soon as he found his voice again. "Gotta stop…not…'m not gonna last."
Blue eyes turned towards him, the beacon that Leonard forever aligned his life to, and slowly, ever so slowly, Jim drew his mouth off Leonard's cock. The smile on his face was knowing, the kind of smile that said he had a plan, and everything was going accordingly.
"Let go, Bones," he replied, his voice pleasantly husky and his lips glistening with spit and precome. "Come for me. Don't hold back."
His tongue darted out again, swirling around the head of Leonard's cock once before his mouth descended onto him again. He was trying to push Leonard over the edge in earnest now, taking him as deep as he could one moment, only to tease the head of his cock mercilessly with his tongue the next. All the while his slick fingers were moving in and out of Leonard's channel, brushing against his prostate with every stroke, and in the end Leonard had no chance but to surrender himself to his husband's ministrations and simply let go.
He was distantly aware of the incoherent moans and grunts that passed over his lips. His hips were moving without conscious thought, up into the moist heat of Jim's mouth, and then back against those fingers inside of him, throwing him from one sensation into the other and back again. His climax was building forcefully, coiling up tightly inside of him like a tidal wave that was building up before it crested, and Leonard squeezed Jim's hand tightly as he felt that pleasant tension mounting inside of him.
Jim looked up at him then, another flash of those incredibly blue eyes straight into his own, and the undisguised desire in his gaze finally made the wave crest and pushed Leonard over the edge. Jim's fingers lingered, pushing against his prostate and his mouth closed tightly over Leonard's cock, and Leonard let go.
His orgasm hit him forcefully, stronger than anything he had experienced during those lonely hours while they had been apart. His legs jerked and his toes curled into the sheets, his hips arched off the bed as he came with a shout, his mind a jumbled mess of Jim and finally, please don't stop, never stop and love you, need you, need you so much.
He had no idea if he had said any of that out loud, but when he finally came back to himself, panting hard and his hand still intertwined tightly with Jim's, there was an awed expression on Jim's face that suggested he probably had.
Jim kept his mouth on him, sucking and milking him gently through the aftershocks, until Leonard's over-sensitized cock softened and he slowly pulled off. He slid his fingers out of Leonard next, leaving him a thoroughly debauched mess on the bed, muscles loose and entirely unable to move, panting hard with his heart beating a frantic pace against his ribcage. For a moment, Jim simply looked at him, like an artist contemplating a great piece he had created, and if Leonard had died at that moment, he wouldn't have been able to find a single thing to complain about.
His hand was still tightly twined with Jim's, and Jim gave it a gentle squeeze and brought it up to his mouth to press a tender kiss against his knuckles before he hesitantly loosened his grip and let go of Leonard's hand.
"Jim, please…" Leonard forced out, not really knowing what he was asking for, but desperately wanting and craving everything Jim was willing to give him. Still smiling, Jim moved his hands to the waistband of his briefs, and Leonard was startled to realize only now that his husband wasn't even naked yet. Jim's erection was outlined clearly against the thin fabric, and a large wet spot had formed around the tip.
"Just the way I wanted you," Jim said as he unceremoniously shrugged out of his briefs and freed his hard and leaking cock. "Spread open and completely relaxed, and yet you can't wait for me to be inside you. Isn't that so, Bones? You can't wait for me to push inside and fuck you into the mattress."
Leonard didn't know where he took the energy from, but he leaned up and reached for Jim, pulling him down on top of him and claiming his mouth in a kiss that was neither lazy nor satisfied.
"Less talking," he growled out against Jim's lips. "You're not the only one who's waited for this for weeks."
It was a small satisfaction to see that Jim's hands were shaking slightly as he reached for the discarded tube of lube and slicked himself up, eyes closed and his face intensely focused as if he was struggling hard not to jerk himself off right there.
It was a debauched sight, and Leonard bit his lip in anticipation as Jim let go of himself and shifted between his thighs. Leonard let his legs fall open wider as Jim aligned himself and started to push inside.
It burned pleasantly as Jim slid into him, but Leonard was too sated and relaxed to feel any discomfort, no matter that it had been a long time since they had last done this. His shoulder was throbbing in time with his rapid heartbeat, but if there was any lingering pain, there were too many endorphins coursing through him right now to feel it. All Leonard really felt was how Jim slowly but determinedly slid into him, and he crossed his legs behind Jim's thighs to pull him in even farther.
The expression on Jim's face as he slid inside was one of pure bliss, and once he had pushed all the way inside, he held himself over Leonard for a few long moments, breathing hard. When he finally opened his eyes and looked down at Leonard, his gaze was dark with barely concealed lust and longing.
"You're…god, you're so tight, Bones." He gave an experimental thrust, and with a groan Leonard tightened his legs around his husband's thighs, pulling him closer. "Not gonna last long."
Jim started to thrust into him in earnest then, his hips rolling into him in a fast and steady cadence, and Leonard let his head fall back against the pillow with a loud moan. Too fucking long since he had been able to feel Jim like this.
"Bones…"
Blindly, Leonard reached up and grasped the back of Jim's neck, pulling Jim's lips down against his. Leonard could still taste himself in Jim's mouth, and as their tongues slid together, Leonard pulled Jim down further, needing to feel Jim's skin against his own, and his weight pressing down on him as he thrust into him faster and faster.
Normally, Jim was very vocal in bed, always whispering and mumbling endearments or obscenities, sometimes both of it at once. Even during their last night together before Leonard had left for the Bragan System, he had whispered a constant stream of how much he loved him, how much he was going to miss him and didn't want him to leave into his skin for the entire night.
Tonight though, Jim was uncharacteristically silent as he thrust into him, eyes locked with Leonard's as they both moved along to the roll of Jim's hips. He was brushing against Leonard's prostate with almost every thrust, and the sensation was nearly too much so quickly after Leonard's own orgasm. Normally, Jim could bring him to hardness again like that, could ride him to a second climax like this if they just took enough time, but not tonight.
Tonight wasn't about endurance. It was all about being together again, and Jim pressed his lips down once more in another fervent kiss. Leonard tangled his hand in Jim's hair, holding him in place as he ran his injured hand up and down Jim's hip in small circles. Leonard didn't let Jim break the kiss, didn't let him move away until they were both gasping for breath in between the press of lips and thrusts of tongue.
Jim was getting close now. Jim could feel it in the urgent, almost desperate way he was rolling his hips against him. It had been too long for both of them, and tonight wasn't the time to be holding back. He tightened his muscles around Jim on the next thrust, smiling into the kiss as Jim groaned into his mouth. His thrusts were getting rapid and erratic, and he was panting hotly against Leonard's lips.
"Bones…Bones, I…oh god, Bones…"
He thrust into Leonard one last, forceful time and his body went still atop of him as he came with a loud groan. Leonard held him, stroked his hair and kissed and licked his lips as Jim rode out his climax. Jim gave a few more small and lazy thrusts before he sank down against Leonard's chest with a sated sigh. Leonard ran his hand through his husband's sweaty hair and pressed a kiss against his forehead.
"Bones," Jim mumbled, his breath fanning hotly over Leonard's chest. Leonard tried to pull him even closer, feeling Jim's rapid heartbeat pound against his own ribcage. Jim was almost boneless against him, blissfully sated in those moments after climax, and Leonard held him tightly until Jim shifted with a small sound of discomfort. Leonard loosened the hold his legs still had around his husband's thighs, and Jim slid out of him slowly before he curled up around against Leonard's side with a sound of utter contentment.
Leonard always felt a little bereft during those moments after Jim withdrew, empty after being connected to him this closely, and as if Jim sensed this he shifted even closer, sliding one leg atop of Leonard's so that they were pressed against each other from head to toe. They traded lazy, sated kisses for a few long minutes, until Jim nuzzled his head into the crook of Leonard's neck with a sigh.
"Missed this," Jim mumbled against the skin of his neck. "Missed you, Bones."
"I missed you, too."
He could have fallen asleep like that, warm and sated and with Jim curled up against him, but as he shifted into a more comfortable position something got stuck to his thigh. Reaching down between them, he peeled whatever it was off and lifted it up to examine it, frowning as he recognized it as the plastic seal Jim had torn off the tube of lubricant earlier. It reminded him that the lube was probably lying somewhere amongst the blankets, only waiting for an errant foot to hit it and squeeze it all out over their sheets. Strangely, Leonard found that he didn't really care. They had made a mess of the sheets, anyway, and he couldn't say he regretted a single thing.
Though the small plastic seal stirred a distant memory of the night before he had left for the Bragan system.
"Didn't we open a new tube of lube right before I left? What happened to that?"
Jim made a small, huffing sound against his neck that could have been a laugh.
"Remember what I said about all the times I woke up hard while you were gone? I wasn't lying about that."
Leonard thought about that for a second, then he withdrew until he could look into his husband's eyes.
"You needed a whole tube of lube for jerking off while I was gone?"
Jim raised his eyebrow at him, almost in challenge. "What was I supposed to do? I had needs, you were halfway across the galaxy and refused to have fun with me over the video-comm. I had no choice, really."
Leonard laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry. Had I known how bad things were for you, I'd have pushed aside my worries about the chance of one of the technical geniuses aboard this ship hacking into the feed to watch us. I'm sorry, Jim."
Jim cocked his head to the side, blue eyes regarding Leonard solemnly. "Don't tell me you didn't miss me, Bones."
Of course he had. Being without Jim had felt as if he was missing a limb. It had been especially hard during the nights, and he couldn't tell how many times he had jerked off in his bed, with his face buried in Jim's shirt. Or under the shower practically every morning. It was a good thing that medical lube came in small portioned packages that were delivered in large quantities which nobody ever bothered to count, otherwise Leonard would have had a lot of explaining to do during those weeks.
He looked at Jim for a moment longer, then leaned in and pressed a tender kiss between his eyebrows.
"You know I did, darlin'. Every minute of each day."
Jim's smile was blinding, as if he had really believed it possible that Leonard's answer could be different. He nuzzled his face back into its previous position against Leonard's neck, nose pressing against his pulse.
"Good. 'cause I'm not letting you leave again."
Leonard chuckled, one hand coming up almost instinctively to run through Jim's hair. "I have no intention of going anywhere."
"You'd better not."
Leonard smiled, feeling pleasantly drowsy and tired, perfectly all right with the world now that Jim was here with him. Sleep was tugging at the edges of his awareness, and he allowed his eyes to drift close as he gave in to its pull. He had almost drifted off when Jim's voice pulled him back to awareness again.
"How's the shoulder?"
Leonard chuckled and turned to his side so that he could wrap both arms tightly around his husband.
"My shoulder is fine."
He could feel Jim's lips pull into a smile against his skin. "Good. Just give it a few weeks. You'll be fine again in no time."
That was what M'Benga said, too. It was the same conclusion Leonard had come to after he reading his file. It was what all the test results suggested. But somehow, it was the conviction and determination in Jim's tired voice that finally convinced Leonard.
"I'll take care of you, Bones."
He was back home, where he belonged, and back with Jim. Everything else wasn't nearly as important as that. Everything else would fall into place. For now, he pressed a tender kiss against Jim's lips and closed his eyes with a sigh.
It was good to be home.
The End
Thanks for reading. As always, please let me know what you think. Thanks a lot.