McDonald's - Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy - PG-13
Title: McDonald's
Author: laughs_muses (fic journal)
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: No, none of these characters are mine. If they were mine I wouldn’t be working absurd hours in a coffee shop, now would I? Nup, I’d be cruising around in my Merc with little HP flags on the bonnet and…*dreams*
Summary: Draco Malfoy goes to McDonald's...
Beta: None
Authors Notes: This is for enchanted_jae's prompt that she gave me ages ago. Yonks and yonks ago.
“It’s vile,”
Harry turned around and shot Draco a dirty look.
“Shut up,” he hissed and shoved his hand in his back pocket for his wallet.
“Why?” Draco’s voice was crisp and clear and carried across the plastic room and the few patrons looked up from their food and glared at him. Why people were at a McDonald’s at two in the morning, Harry didn’t even want to think about.
Draco sauntered over to the plastic figure of Ronald McDonald sitting comfortably on a bench and studied it. The plastic face grinned pathetically back at him, its painted smile looking achingly feeble.
“Vile,” Draco said again and made his unhurried way over to the counter where a bored looking teenager snapped her gum at him. Harry followed and stood a little way behind his lover as he took in the giant multi-coloured menu tacked up on the wall.
Draco was dressed in black low riding trousers and a denim jacket. Under the jacket Harry knew he was wearing a skin-tight white singlet. They had just come from a thumping club deep in the heart of London’s gay district.
The girl behind the counter raised her eyebrow at Draco and obviously looked him up and down. She smiled a glossy smile. She clearly approved. Draco was now surveying the counter and at the plastic toys lined up on its ledge.
“What is this?” he asked the girl pointing to a purple monster.
“Grimace,” she said and snapped her gum again.
“Figures,” Draco said silkily. Then he turned to Harry who quickly averted his eyes from his lover’s backside. “What are we getting?”
“What do you want?”
Harry meandered to the counter and slipped his arm pointedly around Draco’s slim waist and gave the girl a ‘told you so’ smile. She didn’t blink, only switched the gum from one cheek to another.
“Look, a salad menu,” Draco said, his voice laced with sarcasm and he picked up the cardboard cut-out of a lettuce leaf and studied the shining words printed on it. “Can I get anything without a dressing?”
“Um,” The girl nodded towards the glass cabinet to their left, displayed in which were row after row of salads…all suitably drenched in various liquids. “Not really.”
Draco sighed and leant his head against Harry’s shoulder.
“You go first,” and he yawned spectacularly.
“Uh,” Harry quickly scanned the menu. “I’ll have a Big Mac, large chips and…and…a coke.”
“Not coke.” Draco said into Harry’s jacket.
“Okay, uh, Fanta please.”
“No, not Fanta.”
“Sprite?”
“No,”
“Orange juice?”
“Not from here,”
“Diet Coke?”
“No,”
“What can I have?”
Draco raised his head from Harry’s shoulder and looked at the girl who had raised her eyebrow again.
“He’ll have water,” the blond said and yawned again. “But no ice. Bottled actually,” he added quickly and Harry gave him a half hearted elbow in the ribs.
“Yeah, okay,” the girl punched a few keys on the screen in front of her with totally unnecessary force and looked up again. “And what do you want?” she addressed Draco who had wandered aimlessly over towards the breakfast menu.
“Do you have a calorie counter?”
“A what?
“A calorie counter,” Draco said slowly as if speaking to an idiot. “You know, to see how much crap is in this stuff?”
“Uh,” the girl shot Harry a irritated look and he just shrugged. “I’ll check.” She disappeared out the back and they heard her voice floating through the giant cardboard cut-out of the Hamburgler.
Draco was pressing the button on the straw dispenser with vigour when she came back holding a laminated piece of card with a list of McDonald’s products written in minute font registered down the page.
“Yeah, it’s all on there,” she muttered. “’Cept the deli choices I think.”
Draco took the card and bent over it, his blond hair splaying over his forehead. A rather weighted man walked up to the counter carrying a tray with the rubbish from his meal and placed it on the counter.
“Darlin’,” he said to the girl and raised a pudgy hand to his chin in thought. “I’ll ‘ave another of them large McValue meals, yeah?”
“Which burger?”
“Big Mac,”
“Big Mac?” Draco voice piped up from along the counter, “That contains over six hundred kilojules? That would take…four hours of solid walking to burn off.”
The man short Draco a dirty look but an evil smirk spread across Harry’s lover’s features.
“Four hours of solid walking. And that’s only to get you back to what you look like now. So,” Draco continued and Harry felt his stomach sink. “That’s not even counting what you’ve already eaten tonight. Which by the looks of things-
“Alright! Malfoy, shut it. Sorry,” Harry stepped quickly in front of Draco and gave the man an apologetic look and watched him huff off with his meal back towards his table. “For fucks sake, Draco!”
“What? I was helping. Were you getting a Big Mac?”
Harry nodded.
“Oh, we’re changing his order,” Draco said absently to the girl who had just arranged Harry’s meal on a tray. “Make the burger a Fish-O…no, wait…beef fillet…no…actually, leave out the burger completely.”
“What?” the girl snapped her gum and Harry saw her heavily made up eyes dart towards the clock. It read two-forty.
“Yeah, what?” Harry asked.
“I said it has over six hundred kilojoules. And you have training tomorrow-
“Exactly, I’ll burn it off.”
“No, and make his chips a small please.” Draco said dismissively looking at the girl who rolled her eyes. “No, wait.” Harry looked to the heavens and could almost feel the girl’s gaze burning into him. Draco sighed for a moment and then said, “cut out the chips completely as well.”
“Can’t you say please?” the girl snapped and heaved the tray off the counter.
Draco raised an eyebrow and looked her as if he were about to laugh. Harry bit his lip and looked from one to the other; a teenage girl looking defiantly at a fully grown man who had so much distain etched on his face it looked almost painful.
“You’re the help,” Draco said slowly and carefully.
“Okay, okay,” Harry said quickly, opening his wallet and pulling out a ten pound note. “So, how much is it?”
The girl looked at him and pointedly put the bottle of water in front of him.
“That’ll be two-fifty, sir.”
“And I think I’ll take this home,” Draco said and folded the cardboard into his back pocket. “I want to show people how much-
“Okay, whatever,” the girl interrupted. “Seven-fifty change, have a nice evening.”
“It’s actually morning,” piped up Draco snippily and Harry grabbed his water, placed one hand in the small of Draco’s back and propelled him out of the McDonald’s towards his car.
As he got in he raised the bottle to his lips and nodded as if in cheers.
“Bon Apatite,” and downed the entire bottle.
“Vile,” Draco said and shook his head. “We’re never going there again. And,” he said as Harry opened his mouth to say something. “You’re going to thank me when you can run up a hill without panting and you can see your dick in the shower.”
Harry rolled his eyes, started up the car and pulled out of the car park. It was only when they pulled into their driveway that Harry said;
“Draco, if I ever couldn’t see my dick in the shower I’d just ask you to tell me what it looked like.”
The look his lover shot him was of pure revulsion.
“Potter, I do not date fat…people. Ever. At all. Not even you.”
And Draco got out of Harry’s car muttering ‘nineteen thousand kilojoules’ and Harry couldn’t help but laugh.
~~~fin~~~
Author's Notes: So, whatcha think? It's kind of a relief not to be writing about the same plotline that you've been writing for the last six months. Or something. Jealousy sure has taken up a huge chunk of time, huh.
So, hope you liked. Drop me a line. And I'll name my children after you. Easy.
Jessica; who has a rather embarrassing crush on all of you.
Author: laughs_muses (fic journal)
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: No, none of these characters are mine. If they were mine I wouldn’t be working absurd hours in a coffee shop, now would I? Nup, I’d be cruising around in my Merc with little HP flags on the bonnet and…*dreams*
Summary: Draco Malfoy goes to McDonald's...
Beta: None
Authors Notes: This is for enchanted_jae's prompt that she gave me ages ago. Yonks and yonks ago.
“It’s vile,”
Harry turned around and shot Draco a dirty look.
“Shut up,” he hissed and shoved his hand in his back pocket for his wallet.
“Why?” Draco’s voice was crisp and clear and carried across the plastic room and the few patrons looked up from their food and glared at him. Why people were at a McDonald’s at two in the morning, Harry didn’t even want to think about.
Draco sauntered over to the plastic figure of Ronald McDonald sitting comfortably on a bench and studied it. The plastic face grinned pathetically back at him, its painted smile looking achingly feeble.
“Vile,” Draco said again and made his unhurried way over to the counter where a bored looking teenager snapped her gum at him. Harry followed and stood a little way behind his lover as he took in the giant multi-coloured menu tacked up on the wall.
Draco was dressed in black low riding trousers and a denim jacket. Under the jacket Harry knew he was wearing a skin-tight white singlet. They had just come from a thumping club deep in the heart of London’s gay district.
The girl behind the counter raised her eyebrow at Draco and obviously looked him up and down. She smiled a glossy smile. She clearly approved. Draco was now surveying the counter and at the plastic toys lined up on its ledge.
“What is this?” he asked the girl pointing to a purple monster.
“Grimace,” she said and snapped her gum again.
“Figures,” Draco said silkily. Then he turned to Harry who quickly averted his eyes from his lover’s backside. “What are we getting?”
“What do you want?”
Harry meandered to the counter and slipped his arm pointedly around Draco’s slim waist and gave the girl a ‘told you so’ smile. She didn’t blink, only switched the gum from one cheek to another.
“Look, a salad menu,” Draco said, his voice laced with sarcasm and he picked up the cardboard cut-out of a lettuce leaf and studied the shining words printed on it. “Can I get anything without a dressing?”
“Um,” The girl nodded towards the glass cabinet to their left, displayed in which were row after row of salads…all suitably drenched in various liquids. “Not really.”
Draco sighed and leant his head against Harry’s shoulder.
“You go first,” and he yawned spectacularly.
“Uh,” Harry quickly scanned the menu. “I’ll have a Big Mac, large chips and…and…a coke.”
“Not coke.” Draco said into Harry’s jacket.
“Okay, uh, Fanta please.”
“No, not Fanta.”
“Sprite?”
“No,”
“Orange juice?”
“Not from here,”
“Diet Coke?”
“No,”
“What can I have?”
Draco raised his head from Harry’s shoulder and looked at the girl who had raised her eyebrow again.
“He’ll have water,” the blond said and yawned again. “But no ice. Bottled actually,” he added quickly and Harry gave him a half hearted elbow in the ribs.
“Yeah, okay,” the girl punched a few keys on the screen in front of her with totally unnecessary force and looked up again. “And what do you want?” she addressed Draco who had wandered aimlessly over towards the breakfast menu.
“Do you have a calorie counter?”
“A what?
“A calorie counter,” Draco said slowly as if speaking to an idiot. “You know, to see how much crap is in this stuff?”
“Uh,” the girl shot Harry a irritated look and he just shrugged. “I’ll check.” She disappeared out the back and they heard her voice floating through the giant cardboard cut-out of the Hamburgler.
Draco was pressing the button on the straw dispenser with vigour when she came back holding a laminated piece of card with a list of McDonald’s products written in minute font registered down the page.
“Yeah, it’s all on there,” she muttered. “’Cept the deli choices I think.”
Draco took the card and bent over it, his blond hair splaying over his forehead. A rather weighted man walked up to the counter carrying a tray with the rubbish from his meal and placed it on the counter.
“Darlin’,” he said to the girl and raised a pudgy hand to his chin in thought. “I’ll ‘ave another of them large McValue meals, yeah?”
“Which burger?”
“Big Mac,”
“Big Mac?” Draco voice piped up from along the counter, “That contains over six hundred kilojules? That would take…four hours of solid walking to burn off.”
The man short Draco a dirty look but an evil smirk spread across Harry’s lover’s features.
“Four hours of solid walking. And that’s only to get you back to what you look like now. So,” Draco continued and Harry felt his stomach sink. “That’s not even counting what you’ve already eaten tonight. Which by the looks of things-
“Alright! Malfoy, shut it. Sorry,” Harry stepped quickly in front of Draco and gave the man an apologetic look and watched him huff off with his meal back towards his table. “For fucks sake, Draco!”
“What? I was helping. Were you getting a Big Mac?”
Harry nodded.
“Oh, we’re changing his order,” Draco said absently to the girl who had just arranged Harry’s meal on a tray. “Make the burger a Fish-O…no, wait…beef fillet…no…actually, leave out the burger completely.”
“What?” the girl snapped her gum and Harry saw her heavily made up eyes dart towards the clock. It read two-forty.
“Yeah, what?” Harry asked.
“I said it has over six hundred kilojoules. And you have training tomorrow-
“Exactly, I’ll burn it off.”
“No, and make his chips a small please.” Draco said dismissively looking at the girl who rolled her eyes. “No, wait.” Harry looked to the heavens and could almost feel the girl’s gaze burning into him. Draco sighed for a moment and then said, “cut out the chips completely as well.”
“Can’t you say please?” the girl snapped and heaved the tray off the counter.
Draco raised an eyebrow and looked her as if he were about to laugh. Harry bit his lip and looked from one to the other; a teenage girl looking defiantly at a fully grown man who had so much distain etched on his face it looked almost painful.
“You’re the help,” Draco said slowly and carefully.
“Okay, okay,” Harry said quickly, opening his wallet and pulling out a ten pound note. “So, how much is it?”
The girl looked at him and pointedly put the bottle of water in front of him.
“That’ll be two-fifty, sir.”
“And I think I’ll take this home,” Draco said and folded the cardboard into his back pocket. “I want to show people how much-
“Okay, whatever,” the girl interrupted. “Seven-fifty change, have a nice evening.”
“It’s actually morning,” piped up Draco snippily and Harry grabbed his water, placed one hand in the small of Draco’s back and propelled him out of the McDonald’s towards his car.
As he got in he raised the bottle to his lips and nodded as if in cheers.
“Bon Apatite,” and downed the entire bottle.
“Vile,” Draco said and shook his head. “We’re never going there again. And,” he said as Harry opened his mouth to say something. “You’re going to thank me when you can run up a hill without panting and you can see your dick in the shower.”
Harry rolled his eyes, started up the car and pulled out of the car park. It was only when they pulled into their driveway that Harry said;
“Draco, if I ever couldn’t see my dick in the shower I’d just ask you to tell me what it looked like.”
The look his lover shot him was of pure revulsion.
“Potter, I do not date fat…people. Ever. At all. Not even you.”
And Draco got out of Harry’s car muttering ‘nineteen thousand kilojoules’ and Harry couldn’t help but laugh.
~~~fin~~~
Author's Notes: So, whatcha think? It's kind of a relief not to be writing about the same plotline that you've been writing for the last six months. Or something. Jealousy sure has taken up a huge chunk of time, huh.
So, hope you liked. Drop me a line. And I'll name my children after you. Easy.
Jessica; who has a rather embarrassing crush on all of you.