(no subject)
I'm a pallbearer at a funeral today. It is very interesting for this to occur, and it's also been interesting to see how I process through it. I looked at the etiquette of a pallbearer cuz I've never been one before and ruminated a bit on that roll. I feel that especially in grief it helps to have a Duty or role to focus on. Especially when the person who past is not directly in my everyday existence. Unfortunately, my friend's sister passed away and while I would have come to be a support to my friend, having a duty changes that roll in such a significant way. I think that while supporting a friend, it's also permissible for you to have your own sadness or your own grief and express it out early. In a role such as this, where etiquette says that you should be stoic, it allows more control. When attending funerals I often wonder what necessitates crying, or outward a pouring of emotion, verse those who choose or do not do so in public at a place designed to support and nurture that outpouring of such emotion. I don't know, I think for me having a role allows me to understand more about what I should be doing in that space. I'm so sorry for the family, and my friend and her family, and there is such a profound sadness, and yet there are things that must be done. I think if anything having things that must be done during a period of mourning is such a natural experience that perhaps it brings us much closer to the life and death that exists within the world around us. Hi ho.