growing up?
i had an awesome weekend.
so many little things happened that made me smile.
it was just good.
this weekend was the first time i noticed the changes in us.
my grads. my friends.
some things havent changed all that much.
some things never will.
there are changes that need to happen though, and they are starting to.
i thought it would suck, but it doesnt.
im so happy about it.
i can honestly say im so proud of everyone and so happy with all of us.
this weekend really made me realize how lucky i am to have the people i have had in the past.
everyone has their classmates and everyone has their high school friends, and everyone loves them.
but i would never hesitate to argue that our people were the best.
i was so scared about "growing up".
the thought of everyone finding their own little zone and falling into their own routine used to drive me crazy.
the distances that were between us made me so sad.
and i really wondered how things would be when we got together again.
and the way some things went with us really bothered me.
but after this weekend im just happy about everything.
everyones there.
and we all still care.
i really think everyone feels the same way.
it would be great to go back, but the memories are enuf.
i think i hold on to the past way to much.
memories are all ive got i sometimes think.
ive got some stories from the weekend.
i wish i could call bec and tell her all about it.
i really feel like i have alot to tell her.
i dont know what it is.
i just realized were all onto totally new things.
and everyone has just come so far.
weve all gotten to the point where we have so much to talk about and catch up on that the past isnt as important as it always was.
whats happening with everyone right now and what everyone is looking forward to in the future is what matters.
i can honestly say i feel so much better about the future now.
and i feel better about myself.
a little bit.
ive done alot of stuff in the past i hate.
and i know that in a way i dont deserve to have some of the people i do stand beside me still to this day.
but i am so thankful they are there now.
and im doing my best to make that clear.
i dont know why i get so irratated with people so easily.
i really cant help it.
and i dont think its going to change all that quick.
but as far as my mean personality and the immature attitude i had when i was younger....
its gone.
life is too short to hold grudges
and i like to live giving no reason to have a grudge.
and i think im doing a damn good job.
that stood out to me this weekend too.
i really cant say i have alot to say about anyone anymore.
i dont talk about people.
i dont hate back.
i dont really care about alot of whats happening with others and around me.
and the people i hurt or pissed off when i was talking about people, and hating, and caring about what everyone else was doing, can keep thinking im still that way.
i know im not.
i really think ive grown out of it.
someday theyll see that.
maybe?
EL always said, only tell half of what you know.
i think thats the best advice ive ever recieved.
its kept me out of alot of trouble.
kept others out of trouble.
people from home (and this is a stereotype i know) just feel like you have to tell the whole story.
and you have to share every detail.
and you have to tell youre 25 "best friends" everything.
i dont want to.
i tell the people that i think need to know, what i want them to know.
and that changes from one person to the next.
i cant name one person who knows everything about me.
no one needs to.
and people that dont understand that need to.
in high school i told everyone every little detail.
i told the same stories 75 times a day
because those 75 people needed to know.
im glad this is one of the things ive grown out of.
maybe thats just it.
i havent grown out of the habbits.
ive grown out of the town.
cause the people that are still there.
and have been there.
alot of them are the same.
and being away.
you see it so much.
and i just dont think im that person anymore.
i am so happy im going to be in halifax for the summer.
with the people im going to be with.
i dont need to be home.
i dont need drama.
i dont need to try and get back in that groove.
i like halifax.
more than i thought id admit.
more than i usually do admit.
it was just what i needed this year.
i think im ready for bed now though.
a long day with the family tomorrow.
were going selling at the flea market.
and im excited.
one persons junk is another persons treasure you know?!
~cyn
xoxox
so many little things happened that made me smile.
it was just good.
this weekend was the first time i noticed the changes in us.
my grads. my friends.
some things havent changed all that much.
some things never will.
there are changes that need to happen though, and they are starting to.
i thought it would suck, but it doesnt.
im so happy about it.
i can honestly say im so proud of everyone and so happy with all of us.
this weekend really made me realize how lucky i am to have the people i have had in the past.
everyone has their classmates and everyone has their high school friends, and everyone loves them.
but i would never hesitate to argue that our people were the best.
i was so scared about "growing up".
the thought of everyone finding their own little zone and falling into their own routine used to drive me crazy.
the distances that were between us made me so sad.
and i really wondered how things would be when we got together again.
and the way some things went with us really bothered me.
but after this weekend im just happy about everything.
everyones there.
and we all still care.
i really think everyone feels the same way.
it would be great to go back, but the memories are enuf.
i think i hold on to the past way to much.
memories are all ive got i sometimes think.
ive got some stories from the weekend.
i wish i could call bec and tell her all about it.
i really feel like i have alot to tell her.
i dont know what it is.
i just realized were all onto totally new things.
and everyone has just come so far.
weve all gotten to the point where we have so much to talk about and catch up on that the past isnt as important as it always was.
whats happening with everyone right now and what everyone is looking forward to in the future is what matters.
i can honestly say i feel so much better about the future now.
and i feel better about myself.
a little bit.
ive done alot of stuff in the past i hate.
and i know that in a way i dont deserve to have some of the people i do stand beside me still to this day.
but i am so thankful they are there now.
and im doing my best to make that clear.
i dont know why i get so irratated with people so easily.
i really cant help it.
and i dont think its going to change all that quick.
but as far as my mean personality and the immature attitude i had when i was younger....
its gone.
life is too short to hold grudges
and i like to live giving no reason to have a grudge.
and i think im doing a damn good job.
that stood out to me this weekend too.
i really cant say i have alot to say about anyone anymore.
i dont talk about people.
i dont hate back.
i dont really care about alot of whats happening with others and around me.
and the people i hurt or pissed off when i was talking about people, and hating, and caring about what everyone else was doing, can keep thinking im still that way.
i know im not.
i really think ive grown out of it.
someday theyll see that.
maybe?
EL always said, only tell half of what you know.
i think thats the best advice ive ever recieved.
its kept me out of alot of trouble.
kept others out of trouble.
people from home (and this is a stereotype i know) just feel like you have to tell the whole story.
and you have to share every detail.
and you have to tell youre 25 "best friends" everything.
i dont want to.
i tell the people that i think need to know, what i want them to know.
and that changes from one person to the next.
i cant name one person who knows everything about me.
no one needs to.
and people that dont understand that need to.
in high school i told everyone every little detail.
i told the same stories 75 times a day
because those 75 people needed to know.
im glad this is one of the things ive grown out of.
maybe thats just it.
i havent grown out of the habbits.
ive grown out of the town.
cause the people that are still there.
and have been there.
alot of them are the same.
and being away.
you see it so much.
and i just dont think im that person anymore.
i am so happy im going to be in halifax for the summer.
with the people im going to be with.
i dont need to be home.
i dont need drama.
i dont need to try and get back in that groove.
i like halifax.
more than i thought id admit.
more than i usually do admit.
it was just what i needed this year.
i think im ready for bed now though.
a long day with the family tomorrow.
were going selling at the flea market.
and im excited.
one persons junk is another persons treasure you know?!
~cyn
xoxox