(no subject)
im sitting here listening to my ipod to attempt to cover up the sounds of my roommate talking to her boyfriend about what a dick he always is. it is completely awkward and i almost cant stand it. maybe i should get up and leave. but i have work to do. like this 5 page paper on fear for my sociology class...but i am too susceptible to distractions. like the pile of laundry sitting on my bed. or painting my nails. rearranging my room. i wish i could stop. my mind is racing at a hundred miles an hour because procrastination has caught up with me tonight. same story. goddamn it.
my life is so weird now that one of my best friends has left the school. we did everything together and its like, we didnt even spend enough time together at the beginning for me to be able to say "well at least we got that much time together." im sad and sometimes i go through days when i dont think about it but other times ill do something or see something funny and it will remind me and i just feel an emptiness. not depression. because i love my roommate and dont know what i would do without her. but i hate feeling so dependent on someone because i havent gotten completely used to not having him here. its almost like a form of selfishness. i miss having someone to depend on ME. to constantly look to me for spending time with and being insperable. it hurts.
i just wish i could forget about how much he meant to me.
seriously. im tired.
but at the same time i dont want to.
my life is so weird now that one of my best friends has left the school. we did everything together and its like, we didnt even spend enough time together at the beginning for me to be able to say "well at least we got that much time together." im sad and sometimes i go through days when i dont think about it but other times ill do something or see something funny and it will remind me and i just feel an emptiness. not depression. because i love my roommate and dont know what i would do without her. but i hate feeling so dependent on someone because i havent gotten completely used to not having him here. its almost like a form of selfishness. i miss having someone to depend on ME. to constantly look to me for spending time with and being insperable. it hurts.
i just wish i could forget about how much he meant to me.
seriously. im tired.
but at the same time i dont want to.