(no subject)
Ahh, life is crazy but yesterday was good despite it's intensity, and today I feel good too. I don't know. I got some perspective yesterday, both on the severity of the things I'm dealing with right now (relatively, not severe at all) and also on myself, that I can be valuable to people, that I do have people who really like me and really respond to me. It's been kind of a long time since I've felt like people liked me, actively and visibly enjoyed being with me. Maybe since Thanksgiving and being in Portland, although the difference now is that I've known these people for months so I feel even better about it. Not like it was a one time fluke. Ha ha ha.
I have a huge amount of work to do in the coming weeks. I'm moving to Portland, OR the first week in April, and I'm going to be in Paris for about two weeks in March. I have to tie up all these loose ends I've been putting off, pack up my whole life and sort it out between things I'll take back to new hampshire and things I'll take to oregon. Pack carefully and thoughtfully. One of the things that I think is really important in my life is discernment, and this will be a great opportunity to reassess what I want and need in my life, and what it is time to say goodbye too. Materialistically and otherwise.
I love paring down. It's part of why I love editing so much, a big part. When I work in the box I feel excellent because it's a long meticulous puzzle of reduction and elimination, going from a cooler full of boxes and crates to emptier space, complete order, with things in their places and the extraneous eliminated. Moving for me has always been an opportunity, and excuse, to throw things away. give away, donate, etc. I'm looking forward to it.
What are we trying to do here, with ourselves? I'm moving towards being patient, being more like the person I want to be, which often means finding ways to be more honest about who I really am. A related and separate thing is to stop battling with my body, to move from "i have a body" to "i am a body" and to reengage with my fingertips and elbows and hips, to really appreciate the capabilities of the human body. And forgive it for not being something it's not, and use it in every way i can.
Blahdy blahdy blah. I am in a good place personally, but I am worried about a lot of different people. Some of it seems to painful to touch. Some of it seems untouchable completely. Hopefully the right course of action will reveal itself. The spirit will move me. I will make a list and check things off and move into a more active space.
I have so much love in me for people.
I have a huge amount of work to do in the coming weeks. I'm moving to Portland, OR the first week in April, and I'm going to be in Paris for about two weeks in March. I have to tie up all these loose ends I've been putting off, pack up my whole life and sort it out between things I'll take back to new hampshire and things I'll take to oregon. Pack carefully and thoughtfully. One of the things that I think is really important in my life is discernment, and this will be a great opportunity to reassess what I want and need in my life, and what it is time to say goodbye too. Materialistically and otherwise.
I love paring down. It's part of why I love editing so much, a big part. When I work in the box I feel excellent because it's a long meticulous puzzle of reduction and elimination, going from a cooler full of boxes and crates to emptier space, complete order, with things in their places and the extraneous eliminated. Moving for me has always been an opportunity, and excuse, to throw things away. give away, donate, etc. I'm looking forward to it.
What are we trying to do here, with ourselves? I'm moving towards being patient, being more like the person I want to be, which often means finding ways to be more honest about who I really am. A related and separate thing is to stop battling with my body, to move from "i have a body" to "i am a body" and to reengage with my fingertips and elbows and hips, to really appreciate the capabilities of the human body. And forgive it for not being something it's not, and use it in every way i can.
Blahdy blahdy blah. I am in a good place personally, but I am worried about a lot of different people. Some of it seems to painful to touch. Some of it seems untouchable completely. Hopefully the right course of action will reveal itself. The spirit will move me. I will make a list and check things off and move into a more active space.
I have so much love in me for people.