if all i am is a distraction to you then i can't complain

[lau2214]

Every once in awhile I look back at myself from a few years ago and I am absolutely amazed at the amount of potential that I had. People never really think about it, but youth is unbelievably valuble. Now, I'm a little tipsy when I'm writing this, so I am probably making a lot of points where people are just gonna think, "what the eff?" So I apologize. But seriously. High school teenagers. They surround themselves with music that they can relate to. Teens sometimes even think that every song they hear was written with exactly them in mind. Youth is beautiful. I probably have potential right now that I don't know about. But for some reason high school seems to be the time when people are just brimming with potential. I wish I were one of those teens who went through a lot of shit in high school. I wish I had gone to Hull High and had my heart broken and that I had taken drugs and fell under peer pressure. I wish that I had a shitty car that broke down and I had to walk home in the rain. I wish that I met someone who could have shared that almost exact same fate with me. Why? Because people with perfect lives don't know a good thing when it's coming to them. And if my life were shittier, then I'm sure I would have been happier with the other things in life. Not that shit didn't happen to me. I got ditched, dumped, pressured, and everything else. But not to the degree that I wish it had happened. I wish it had broken me. I wish that I had been able to write poem upon poem about it. Those are the most interesting people. The people whose lives we can only imagine when we read about them. The teens who stick out like sore thumbs in high school are the ones who make interesting lives out of themselves. The popular girl at all the parties will grow up just like all the other popular girls at the parties. But the girl sitting in the corner just wishing she were anywhere else but where she was is the one who will go home, write about the shit she went through, and attract interest later. She is the one who actually has the life that people want. The different life. I wish I had that life. I hate fitting in.
And I hate drinking. I hate it so much. Atleast in this context. Drinking on the beach with my best friends and going out to get sloshed off of fancy margaritas while eating dessert in a nice restaurant are my idea of a good time. Not this whole "hey, let's stand around and play beirut with people we've never met before and talk about how damn drunk we can REALLY get." Like honestly, who gives a fuck? I met a girl tonight that I have never seen before. She was a nice, funny girl, don't get me wrong. And tomorrow's her birthday and I wish her all the best. But all she kept saying was, "I can't wait til midnight, I'm gonna shotgun sooooo many beers! And tomorrow night, I'm gonna get soooooo drunk, you don't even know!!" LyKe, OmG LoLzzz!*~~ I just don't understand why people would want to get trashed, black out, not remember anything, and then throw up and feel sick all the next day. I just don't understand. I mean, go out and get drunk, go have a blast, whatever you want. But atleast do something with yourself while intoxicated. Go cause havoc. Go fall in love. Do something. Don't just stand around and talk about how drunk you are.
Sorry. End rant. Goodnight.