my hoodie has fake blood on it.
hi. my name is latricia. i'm tired and dont feel much like working even though i have a fantastic new day job that i'm in love with.
today i didnt have time to properly pack for dustin's house tonight. i cant wait till i can leave for work and not have to think about if i'm coming home or going to his place that night, and in doing so, not have to carry six bags of things with me when i leave.
also: i didnt feed my nintenDOG this morning. she's starving in my van. i'm a bad virtual pet mommy. on new years i didnt feed her till i got home and she was hungry, thirsty, needed a walk and had fleas. also: she had eaten a fish stick from somewhere. dunno. i felt bad. even though she's not really real. i am retarded that way.
i have been working really hard to deal with this depressed feeling i have... i'm trying to work through it and surround myself with people i love and that are fun. but pretty much that isnt going as well as i'd hoped cuz i still wind up having bad dreams or laying awake crying or drawing and then its really hard to get up in the morning. so i've decided to not sleep. i tried it last night. it was productive. i did all these things instead of sleeping:
*played sims2 on my ds
*drew three pages of flash art (just the outlines)
*sorted my lights and darks in my laundry
*played with the lazer pen and rex and max
*listened to every alkaline trio album on my ipod
*painted my toenails
*ate my left over quesadilla from chili's
*counted my underwear... i have 26 pair. i could easily buy a few more and have enough for an entire month.
see? you can be so productive when not sleeping. and i discovered that if i keep busy, i dont cry about shitty things that i have no control over, and if i dont sleep, i dont have bad dreams, and when i dont lay down, my stomach doesnt burn.
i've had some sadness in my life... but i'm starting to wonder if this is really an issue. is this what "depression" means?
i can be really good at smiling and having a good time whereever i go... then i get home and i feel like i fell apart at the door.
plus ladyfest is killing me. i need people to help/participate/enter their bands/talents... i'm starting to freak out. we have one month. holy fucking cow. on month till the deadline.
i'm so dead.
today i didnt have time to properly pack for dustin's house tonight. i cant wait till i can leave for work and not have to think about if i'm coming home or going to his place that night, and in doing so, not have to carry six bags of things with me when i leave.
also: i didnt feed my nintenDOG this morning. she's starving in my van. i'm a bad virtual pet mommy. on new years i didnt feed her till i got home and she was hungry, thirsty, needed a walk and had fleas. also: she had eaten a fish stick from somewhere. dunno. i felt bad. even though she's not really real. i am retarded that way.
i have been working really hard to deal with this depressed feeling i have... i'm trying to work through it and surround myself with people i love and that are fun. but pretty much that isnt going as well as i'd hoped cuz i still wind up having bad dreams or laying awake crying or drawing and then its really hard to get up in the morning. so i've decided to not sleep. i tried it last night. it was productive. i did all these things instead of sleeping:
*played sims2 on my ds
*drew three pages of flash art (just the outlines)
*sorted my lights and darks in my laundry
*played with the lazer pen and rex and max
*listened to every alkaline trio album on my ipod
*painted my toenails
*ate my left over quesadilla from chili's
*counted my underwear... i have 26 pair. i could easily buy a few more and have enough for an entire month.
see? you can be so productive when not sleeping. and i discovered that if i keep busy, i dont cry about shitty things that i have no control over, and if i dont sleep, i dont have bad dreams, and when i dont lay down, my stomach doesnt burn.
i've had some sadness in my life... but i'm starting to wonder if this is really an issue. is this what "depression" means?
i can be really good at smiling and having a good time whereever i go... then i get home and i feel like i fell apart at the door.
plus ladyfest is killing me. i need people to help/participate/enter their bands/talents... i'm starting to freak out. we have one month. holy fucking cow. on month till the deadline.
i'm so dead.