(Untitled)

[latrine_orderly]

HEIL IL PA--what?

Comments

[in_good_taste]

Good morning, Excel.

[latrine_orderly]

HANNIBAL LECTER! Isn't it a little early to start drinking? BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, what are you doing here?

[in_good_taste]

Have a seat, Excel. Would you like a glass? The lord has surprisingly good taste.

[latrine_orderly]

Oh, hey, you added some chairs in he--HEY!! GET OUT OF THAT THRONE!

[in_good_taste]

Sit down, Excel.

[latrine_orderly]

Don't think I'm afraid of you just 'cause your author lives in a bathtub full of money and he has an orphan chained to it and he has this really great recipe for orphan-tear martinis and he needed another solid-gold helicopter but he didn't want to have to write a book so he made the orphan do it and it doesn't matter if it's terrible because he's famous and they got a really hot guy to do the movie! YOU GET OUT OF LORD IL PALAZZO'S THRONE OR I'LL SERVE YOUR LIVER WITH REFRIED BEANS AND SOME KOOL-AID!

[in_good_taste]

By the way, are you least bit curious as to where Il Palazzo is?

[latrine_orderly]

LORD IL PALAZZO! *runs into the floor face-first*

[latrine_orderly]

WHAB DIB YOU DO WIB LORB IL PABASSO??

[in_good_taste]

You should be more careful. *offers a handkerchief*

[latrine_orderly]

*SNAGS IT*

Why are you here? What do you want? Where's Lord Il Palazzo? What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[in_good_taste]

I thought we'd have a talk, but I've been getting the feeling that you're avoiding me.

[latrine_orderly]

What gave you that idea? The Excel-shaped cloud of smoke that appears in my sudden absence every time I happen to spy cannibal pie with my little eye? The accompanying screaming and fleeing? The bear traps I put under your bed?

[in_good_taste]

*tosses out a couple of broken bear traps*

It's funny. You weren't so shy back in the volcano.

[latrine_orderly]

That's 'cause you were in a cage, Mr. Creepypants. Where's Lord Il Palazzo?

[in_good_taste]

Are you afraid that if you're not loud and demanding enough, no one will notice you? That you'll simply cease to exist?