guess all great things come to an end
how stupid and cliche that sounds but right now thats how it feels. my life feels like it means nothing now. its felt like that for awhile but whatever i felt i had, now i feel it is gone. i havent lived the most perfect life since i graduated. in fact ive been fighting almost a losing struggle against drugs for awhile now. i think i have fried my brain. guess atleast i had fun while doing so unlike most pharmaceuticals that some idiot doctor would have prescribed for me. but right now i feel empty just nothing. not happy. not sad....empty. have i hit rock bottom? what do i do? i got work in like 3 hours. i do not know if i am mentally there to go. my girlfriend just kind of broke up with me. i feel like shit. i drank two 40s last night. right now i feel like just going on a drinking binge. i do not even want to show up to my family new years celebration. i feel ashamed. feel like i got nothing to show for the past year. maybe i just need to disappear for a while but where to? i feel like i got nowhere to run to now. sigh. i hate life. i really do. i am not happy for a new year.