so its been awhile since i said something negative on here
but i am just feeling a bit emo this weekend. it was a good weekend. a great weekend perhaps except for a few things that just ended up probably getting me in the asss later. for one friday our party we threw was......pretty good compared to the last pledge party for chi sigma chi from what i hear. a lot of beautiful ladies. but alas i was one confused drunk fuck and instead of sticking to the girl i like, i decided to go around and dance with the other girls i saw around that i knew. i would say that was a big mistake. i upset a few people with just that i think as well with the excessive amount of alcohol i may have consumed that night (even though i did wake up early (8:15am for those of you who dont think i did) to go wash old people's cars). saturday was ok even though i had a feeling in me that i had pissed of people and i was probably correct when i was thinking about it (drunk as any saturday is spent in redlands). and yea......so i spent the majority of the next day with a hangover, going door to door for a assemblyman for his campaign for state senate while feeling shitty and trying to put together the nights before. and yea......it just sucked. i havent felt this bad or like pissed at myself for my actions but that night i may have just ruined anything i may have had going with this girl i liked. i havent felt this bad in such a long time. and yea even though we have never talked about anything serious about dating or anyting its just a straaange little feeling i get in side that there may have been a good possibility that something could have happened. but alas now i feel as if i have wreked any chance of accomplishing that last bit of happiness missing in my life. just the same way i wrecked my car. but maybe just like i wrecked my car, hopefully its something that can be fixed. but sigh. it just sucks. i think its time for me to start drinking in moderation, try to figure things out with the ladies and not to talk to too many of them. (jay, i think i know how it must have felt for you back in the days, and for that i forgive u and im glad you found someone your happy with =D) but yea. this weekend was an eye opener for me. all i gotta say is being in a frat is gonna make ever having a real relationship really really reallly reaaaaaally fucking hard. i just hope if i ever get the chance, that i can do it. and i will make sure to be faithful. i just need that chance to prove it.
but yea on the bright side, i get paid soon and i just bought a PSP and its on its way already. but yea lets hope this week goes better.
as for my day today, it was ok, still kinda emo, woke up early, ate breakfast, chilled in my room for a bit, did nothing for awile, ate lunch, went to class, washed my car, and then ate dinner, and then took a nap in which i had the weirdest fucking dream that scared me, and then a frat meeting. now im here chilling in my room doing almost nothing but lettting my crap out. and it feels bettter. and about those dreams.....well more like nightmares i would say, i was driving my car out in the rain adn i felt much shorter in my car instead of tall and i felt as if i had lost any good reflexes in my leg to be able to break. it was fucking pouring like crazy to the poitn where my damn wipers did shit to clear my windows. i was driving in the freeway and all of a sudden i was trying to brake only to find out that my brakes where fucked up. i could barely make out the cars brake lights in front of me ( put all of this together and u have a scene for an accident. i manage to stop the car a few times, i think i had a passenger too screaming at me and we where both kinda scared. and yea finally i think my brakes give out ( weird jerk too as if the axles where falling of my car or my wheels of the brakes and my car just plows into the car in front o me and yea...thats where it ends. i think i die too in my dream. sigh. o well lets pray that nothing happens to me tomororw. kuz i think its gonna rain. well gnite all and have a great day tomorrow
but yea on the bright side, i get paid soon and i just bought a PSP and its on its way already. but yea lets hope this week goes better.
as for my day today, it was ok, still kinda emo, woke up early, ate breakfast, chilled in my room for a bit, did nothing for awile, ate lunch, went to class, washed my car, and then ate dinner, and then took a nap in which i had the weirdest fucking dream that scared me, and then a frat meeting. now im here chilling in my room doing almost nothing but lettting my crap out. and it feels bettter. and about those dreams.....well more like nightmares i would say, i was driving my car out in the rain adn i felt much shorter in my car instead of tall and i felt as if i had lost any good reflexes in my leg to be able to break. it was fucking pouring like crazy to the poitn where my damn wipers did shit to clear my windows. i was driving in the freeway and all of a sudden i was trying to brake only to find out that my brakes where fucked up. i could barely make out the cars brake lights in front of me ( put all of this together and u have a scene for an accident. i manage to stop the car a few times, i think i had a passenger too screaming at me and we where both kinda scared. and yea finally i think my brakes give out ( weird jerk too as if the axles where falling of my car or my wheels of the brakes and my car just plows into the car in front o me and yea...thats where it ends. i think i die too in my dream. sigh. o well lets pray that nothing happens to me tomororw. kuz i think its gonna rain. well gnite all and have a great day tomorrow