(no subject)
so ive fully decided that women/girls will always lead to trouble..i never understood how my father could be with so many women yet say he loved my mother..but i guess as i get older i start kinda figuring out..not saying that its right..but im starting to get his whole "thing"..i suppose im not gonna allow myself to get attached to any one person for as long as i live, because they will hurt me..so..when im mean to you..its not cause i really hate you..its cause ur getting to close..so back off bitches.
im slightly deppressed/mad at my whole situation in this country..i dont fit anywhere..nowherree..and i hate it..im not the cool preppy kid..im not the geeky kid who knows a lot..im not part of the white people..im not part of the hispanic people..i speak spanish and english..but both with a small accent most people cant pick up..they dont like me because i prefer english..the others dont like me because i dont look like them...gdasg...im not a good reader..im not a good speller..im not rich..im not poor..i dont have a nice car..but i dont have a shitty one..my friends are nice..and i have a lot..but none of them are close.(prolly cause i push them away)..girls find me attaractive..but most say it just cause they feel sorry for the actual lack of attractiveness..im not a good dancer..but im not a bad dancer..i have rhythm k..get over it..im in college..but im not really motivated to go..i wanna do film..but id rather just sit and enjoy someone elses movies.
basically, i am average as average gets..i will probably never amount to anything and thats alright with me cause ive even lost interest in that. so ill probably live at home for the next 20 years and then inheret my hose when my one parent dies.
life looks so gloomy, i dont think ive ever made a post about how happy ive been this week..or month..its always..mannn tonite...people i dont remember..a weird happy that i dislike..grrr.
what happened..to goodwills and summer..and movies..and watching the OC for hours and playing darts and wrestling on my bed and taking pictures in random parks and driving an old toyota carolla to the point it SHAKES..did i waste my small amount of high school freedoms?..fucking a..why do all of you make me so mad.
im slightly deppressed/mad at my whole situation in this country..i dont fit anywhere..nowherree..and i hate it..im not the cool preppy kid..im not the geeky kid who knows a lot..im not part of the white people..im not part of the hispanic people..i speak spanish and english..but both with a small accent most people cant pick up..they dont like me because i prefer english..the others dont like me because i dont look like them...gdasg...im not a good reader..im not a good speller..im not rich..im not poor..i dont have a nice car..but i dont have a shitty one..my friends are nice..and i have a lot..but none of them are close.(prolly cause i push them away)..girls find me attaractive..but most say it just cause they feel sorry for the actual lack of attractiveness..im not a good dancer..but im not a bad dancer..i have rhythm k..get over it..im in college..but im not really motivated to go..i wanna do film..but id rather just sit and enjoy someone elses movies.
basically, i am average as average gets..i will probably never amount to anything and thats alright with me cause ive even lost interest in that. so ill probably live at home for the next 20 years and then inheret my hose when my one parent dies.
life looks so gloomy, i dont think ive ever made a post about how happy ive been this week..or month..its always..mannn tonite...people i dont remember..a weird happy that i dislike..grrr.
what happened..to goodwills and summer..and movies..and watching the OC for hours and playing darts and wrestling on my bed and taking pictures in random parks and driving an old toyota carolla to the point it SHAKES..did i waste my small amount of high school freedoms?..fucking a..why do all of you make me so mad.