Oh Gods...
Today was weird...went to work and it was uber slow which was awesome, it was so slow in fact, that me and my co-workers had enough time between jobs to sit down and enjoy some homemade sandwhiches. Most of my lunch I spent arguing with a guy named Vicente about which High school was better. Neither of us won since we had attend(ed) different eras.
There was nothing uber exciting except for maybe some small minor conflicts with myself as to when I wanted to lay down and get some shut eye:P Obviously I'm still debating at this hour.
I got home to a friend and we went out and bought me some new shoes, glue for his shoes, and then tried to run but I threw a fit...I felt like a failure and instead of trying to get me to calm down, he just watched and tried to console me as best as he knew. He said that he was honored to see me lose control and finally let him in...I felt like a fool for choosing that moment to break down from all the stress of never really seeing my family anymore and the lack of sleep...
My mom pulled out two new games for us to play and that was awesome. Super Mario Galaxy and Carnival. Both are really fun! I even made sure to text my cousin a happy birthday since he turned 20!! Wow, he's getting old fast:P
Finally I couldn't sleep, for some reason, I just can't and I know I should since tomorrow I will get up to do a bunch of homework, sewing and reading...killing myself much?
"You are great at being yourself, no one can ask for more" he said, well then, how come I feel that people always want more? I know I can improve and certainly always stride to be better but if no one can ask for more, why do they? Have I not proven myself enough times? What else do I need to do really?
In dollar tree we had a great time, just juggling and it was interesting to see how much he liked to spend time outside yet with someone...*sigh* it made me sad when I realized that he is the kind of person I kinda want to be. Outgoing, yet still have enough time to spend with my family....
I almost wish that I never strode for excellence but you know, this kind of schedule keeps me calm...though I have been getting attention from one friend who has all sorts of fun making me scared. Its fun just because no one has ever dared to in the past. Now, he is very huggy and affectionate. If only there were a guy that were a combonation of my two friends and yet that single thing that made him so himself and so great, I would date him...if he wanted to date me of course...
I'm getting really tired of my pessimism, I try and try to be optimistic but only when I am dead tired can I manage.
Maybe, somewhere, out there, real soon, I can find that one person I was meant to be with...or at least someone to have a fun and yet loving relationship who I can walk around with anytime and feel absolutely happy to do anything with them...please don't let me end up alone...friends aren't the same when they have a relationship...they tend to ignore friends.
I dreamt of a baby last night. I was running all over a mall and woods, and there was alot fo water, very clear. At one point there was an earthquake in which I almost dropped the baby but finally, I gave it to a woman who took it just as some pet store animals were getting away....
What in the world have I been eating?
There was nothing uber exciting except for maybe some small minor conflicts with myself as to when I wanted to lay down and get some shut eye:P Obviously I'm still debating at this hour.
I got home to a friend and we went out and bought me some new shoes, glue for his shoes, and then tried to run but I threw a fit...I felt like a failure and instead of trying to get me to calm down, he just watched and tried to console me as best as he knew. He said that he was honored to see me lose control and finally let him in...I felt like a fool for choosing that moment to break down from all the stress of never really seeing my family anymore and the lack of sleep...
My mom pulled out two new games for us to play and that was awesome. Super Mario Galaxy and Carnival. Both are really fun! I even made sure to text my cousin a happy birthday since he turned 20!! Wow, he's getting old fast:P
Finally I couldn't sleep, for some reason, I just can't and I know I should since tomorrow I will get up to do a bunch of homework, sewing and reading...killing myself much?
"You are great at being yourself, no one can ask for more" he said, well then, how come I feel that people always want more? I know I can improve and certainly always stride to be better but if no one can ask for more, why do they? Have I not proven myself enough times? What else do I need to do really?
In dollar tree we had a great time, just juggling and it was interesting to see how much he liked to spend time outside yet with someone...*sigh* it made me sad when I realized that he is the kind of person I kinda want to be. Outgoing, yet still have enough time to spend with my family....
I almost wish that I never strode for excellence but you know, this kind of schedule keeps me calm...though I have been getting attention from one friend who has all sorts of fun making me scared. Its fun just because no one has ever dared to in the past. Now, he is very huggy and affectionate. If only there were a guy that were a combonation of my two friends and yet that single thing that made him so himself and so great, I would date him...if he wanted to date me of course...
I'm getting really tired of my pessimism, I try and try to be optimistic but only when I am dead tired can I manage.
Maybe, somewhere, out there, real soon, I can find that one person I was meant to be with...or at least someone to have a fun and yet loving relationship who I can walk around with anytime and feel absolutely happy to do anything with them...please don't let me end up alone...friends aren't the same when they have a relationship...they tend to ignore friends.
I dreamt of a baby last night. I was running all over a mall and woods, and there was alot fo water, very clear. At one point there was an earthquake in which I almost dropped the baby but finally, I gave it to a woman who took it just as some pet store animals were getting away....
What in the world have I been eating?