Why I Don't Want To Come Back To Seattle
1) I'm scared that I won't fit in anymore. Everybody's spent their summer together...making new friends. I've had the worst summer I've ever had and have been completely removed from everyone.
2) I've become obsessed with my weight again and I'm scared of feeling inadequate. I had gotten over that for the most part last year, but I've been working out at least 2 times a day and really watching what I eat and it seems to make no difference. I think I'm destined to a lifetime of obesity. I'm also scared that once we move back I'll have no time to work out and lose my discipline to maintain my new "lifestyle".
3) I'm afraid of recruitment. I'm excited to wear my new clothes, but what if this bombs again like last year? I don't think I can take another year of that. It was so horrible.
4) I'm actually going to have to do well from here on out in school. I mean, REALLY WELL. Before I just kinda goofed around and didn't care to impress anybody and it didn't really matter if I didn't do well because I wasn't trying...so it wasn't embarrassing or anything and I could just laugh at myself. But now that I need to do well and I'll be trying, what if I still do horribly? Then I won't be laughing...everyone else will. Not literally, but I'll just be proving that I'm a huge joke.
5) I'm scared of coming back to school single. Before when I was single, I always wanted to go out and party and try to find some guy to hook up with (as if that would solve all my problems) and it never even happened and I'd just get disappionted, upset, and really drunk and embarrass myself. I don't want to fall back into that pattern of drunken stupidity and hopeless endeavors!
So pretty much I've become a very insecure person over these past few months and I'm dreading the end of summer because it means I have to crawl out of the hermit shell I've been living in.
2) I've become obsessed with my weight again and I'm scared of feeling inadequate. I had gotten over that for the most part last year, but I've been working out at least 2 times a day and really watching what I eat and it seems to make no difference. I think I'm destined to a lifetime of obesity. I'm also scared that once we move back I'll have no time to work out and lose my discipline to maintain my new "lifestyle".
3) I'm afraid of recruitment. I'm excited to wear my new clothes, but what if this bombs again like last year? I don't think I can take another year of that. It was so horrible.
4) I'm actually going to have to do well from here on out in school. I mean, REALLY WELL. Before I just kinda goofed around and didn't care to impress anybody and it didn't really matter if I didn't do well because I wasn't trying...so it wasn't embarrassing or anything and I could just laugh at myself. But now that I need to do well and I'll be trying, what if I still do horribly? Then I won't be laughing...everyone else will. Not literally, but I'll just be proving that I'm a huge joke.
5) I'm scared of coming back to school single. Before when I was single, I always wanted to go out and party and try to find some guy to hook up with (as if that would solve all my problems) and it never even happened and I'd just get disappionted, upset, and really drunk and embarrass myself. I don't want to fall back into that pattern of drunken stupidity and hopeless endeavors!
So pretty much I've become a very insecure person over these past few months and I'm dreading the end of summer because it means I have to crawl out of the hermit shell I've been living in.