the xmas party?
So, it was a Tuesday night and I was in one of the regular yoga classes that I attend, when I learned of the christmas party.
It was being hosted by the yoga teacher, who's class I was in, and I felt, at the time of the invitation that I might have an opportunity to grow closer to this yoga teacher if I attended. So I accepted.
Before I can expose the details of the party I have to provide some background on the yoga teacher. He has always presented himself as disciplined. Someone who is so close to mastering his own wants and desires, that he is able to instruct others on how to achieve this higher state of being. He has always encouraged us to abstain from alcohol, drugs, sugars and fats, in addition to the junk on the internet and t.v. that negatively influence the mind and our thoughts and behaviours.
Before I met him, I hadn't imagined that yoga teachers were anything other than another brand of teacher, in the same way that a caligraphy pen was just a different kind of pen. I mean, both a regular pen and a caligraphy pen are instruments for writing with, it is just that one has a specialized function.
There are people at my yoga studio who call him guru, but I have always had a conlict with this notion. I assume it is because I have been raised in North America and because I don't know if there can be a western equal to the eastern defined sage. Regardless, though, I had seen this teacher as someone who was making an effort to work toward this type of status, and I was interested in getting a greater insight into who he was, outside of the studio, and off the mat.
On the night of the party I met up w/AR and we picked up a veg.tray en route to the posh neighbourhood where the yoga teacher dwells. We were late.
When we finally got in, we joined a small group of people from our yoga studio upstairs as the yoga teacher was giving a lecture. It was on an interesteing topic, and it had inspired questions and thoughts inside me about the movements I practice, and what yoga really means (to me).
After the talk, or lecture, or whatever it was time for food. We moved together as a group to the kitchen where we met the yoga teacher's partner. She emerged from a room where it was obvious that joints were being smoked, and though she was friendly, I don't think I liked her energy.
Food, consisted of the things that the party attendees brought, and some wine that the yoga teacher claimed was kicking around the house. Now is a good time to point out that there were only seven of us in attendance and two of us were the yoga teacher and his partner. Neither myself, nor AR had any of the wine, and the bottle was finished within an hour. I was surprised to see the yoga teacher consume alcohol, and I was shocked at the amount consumed in so short a span of time.
The conversation over the food was stimulating, and inspirational, but also felt contrived. It was sort of like being in a room where really smart people say things to each other that they've constructed to sound smart, but are only expressing things in an effort to impress the people they are surrounded by.
We got a tour of the hose. I felt badly about wanting to go on the tour. I mean the whole reason I had decided to go, was so I could learn more about this teacher. As the night wore on, and it became obvious that the group was going to stay intact, and I was not going to get my one on one time with the yoga teacher, I found myself interested in learning about him from paying attention to his surroundings. I was trying not to judge, but I still found myself drawing conclusions about him from the collection of books he had on a shelf in his living room, and the assorted titles on the bookshelf, in an adjoining room. At one point, we passed a large walk in closet, where we stopped while he dug out a treasure he wanted to share with us. Though I didn't go as far as opening his kitchen cupboards to see what he ate, I did notice that all of the clothes in this cupboard were Lululemon (gear). And though I admonished myself for making this realization I couldn't help but feel as though everything I thought I knew about this yoga teacher was quickly becoming understood to me as an image - or a lie, if that isn't too strong a word.
After the tour, AR, who had to wake up the next morning at 6am to catch a flight to Montreal noted that it was going on eleven. This brought the party pretty much to a close, as other people in attendance started to use the late hour as their means to escape also. As we started to move toward leaving we were asked / encouraged / requested to make a monetary donation.
I was shocked, as was AR. For we had no idea that we would be expected to 'pay' for the time that we spent in the company of this teacher. Some of the people were pulling 50s out of their wallets, and some, 40. After meeting up with AR and dropping nearly $30 on the veggie tray we brought, I had $10 in cash left in my wallett and felt badly for only dropping this amount into the tray.
I started to feel outraged. I felt as though I had been misled. I started asking myself how many different definitions of the word party I knew. For even though there was a 'lecture' I hadn't assumed that the invitation was a masked way of getting money out of people.
That night, after the party I walked AR home. We talked the whole way about the surprise request for money, and about the front that the yoga teacher portrays. We talked about some of the reasons why we were shocked by the occurrences of the evening, and what it tought us about human nature and trust and western definitions of the word guru.
The day after the party I told three people what happened and they were all stunned. In fact, I am sure when I tell this story in three months the hearers will also be stunned.
I have had time to live with the shock, and have decided to let go of the feelings I was carrying about the experience and about this yoga teacher. At the end of the day I have had an opportunity to look at the kind of yoga teacher I don't want to become, and I have also, through having my beliefs smashed, learned something about how gullible I am, and how easily I can get sucked into something if I don't approach things with my eyes open.
It was being hosted by the yoga teacher, who's class I was in, and I felt, at the time of the invitation that I might have an opportunity to grow closer to this yoga teacher if I attended. So I accepted.
Before I can expose the details of the party I have to provide some background on the yoga teacher. He has always presented himself as disciplined. Someone who is so close to mastering his own wants and desires, that he is able to instruct others on how to achieve this higher state of being. He has always encouraged us to abstain from alcohol, drugs, sugars and fats, in addition to the junk on the internet and t.v. that negatively influence the mind and our thoughts and behaviours.
Before I met him, I hadn't imagined that yoga teachers were anything other than another brand of teacher, in the same way that a caligraphy pen was just a different kind of pen. I mean, both a regular pen and a caligraphy pen are instruments for writing with, it is just that one has a specialized function.
There are people at my yoga studio who call him guru, but I have always had a conlict with this notion. I assume it is because I have been raised in North America and because I don't know if there can be a western equal to the eastern defined sage. Regardless, though, I had seen this teacher as someone who was making an effort to work toward this type of status, and I was interested in getting a greater insight into who he was, outside of the studio, and off the mat.
On the night of the party I met up w/AR and we picked up a veg.tray en route to the posh neighbourhood where the yoga teacher dwells. We were late.
When we finally got in, we joined a small group of people from our yoga studio upstairs as the yoga teacher was giving a lecture. It was on an interesteing topic, and it had inspired questions and thoughts inside me about the movements I practice, and what yoga really means (to me).
After the talk, or lecture, or whatever it was time for food. We moved together as a group to the kitchen where we met the yoga teacher's partner. She emerged from a room where it was obvious that joints were being smoked, and though she was friendly, I don't think I liked her energy.
Food, consisted of the things that the party attendees brought, and some wine that the yoga teacher claimed was kicking around the house. Now is a good time to point out that there were only seven of us in attendance and two of us were the yoga teacher and his partner. Neither myself, nor AR had any of the wine, and the bottle was finished within an hour. I was surprised to see the yoga teacher consume alcohol, and I was shocked at the amount consumed in so short a span of time.
The conversation over the food was stimulating, and inspirational, but also felt contrived. It was sort of like being in a room where really smart people say things to each other that they've constructed to sound smart, but are only expressing things in an effort to impress the people they are surrounded by.
We got a tour of the hose. I felt badly about wanting to go on the tour. I mean the whole reason I had decided to go, was so I could learn more about this teacher. As the night wore on, and it became obvious that the group was going to stay intact, and I was not going to get my one on one time with the yoga teacher, I found myself interested in learning about him from paying attention to his surroundings. I was trying not to judge, but I still found myself drawing conclusions about him from the collection of books he had on a shelf in his living room, and the assorted titles on the bookshelf, in an adjoining room. At one point, we passed a large walk in closet, where we stopped while he dug out a treasure he wanted to share with us. Though I didn't go as far as opening his kitchen cupboards to see what he ate, I did notice that all of the clothes in this cupboard were Lululemon (gear). And though I admonished myself for making this realization I couldn't help but feel as though everything I thought I knew about this yoga teacher was quickly becoming understood to me as an image - or a lie, if that isn't too strong a word.
After the tour, AR, who had to wake up the next morning at 6am to catch a flight to Montreal noted that it was going on eleven. This brought the party pretty much to a close, as other people in attendance started to use the late hour as their means to escape also. As we started to move toward leaving we were asked / encouraged / requested to make a monetary donation.
I was shocked, as was AR. For we had no idea that we would be expected to 'pay' for the time that we spent in the company of this teacher. Some of the people were pulling 50s out of their wallets, and some, 40. After meeting up with AR and dropping nearly $30 on the veggie tray we brought, I had $10 in cash left in my wallett and felt badly for only dropping this amount into the tray.
I started to feel outraged. I felt as though I had been misled. I started asking myself how many different definitions of the word party I knew. For even though there was a 'lecture' I hadn't assumed that the invitation was a masked way of getting money out of people.
That night, after the party I walked AR home. We talked the whole way about the surprise request for money, and about the front that the yoga teacher portrays. We talked about some of the reasons why we were shocked by the occurrences of the evening, and what it tought us about human nature and trust and western definitions of the word guru.
The day after the party I told three people what happened and they were all stunned. In fact, I am sure when I tell this story in three months the hearers will also be stunned.
I have had time to live with the shock, and have decided to let go of the feelings I was carrying about the experience and about this yoga teacher. At the end of the day I have had an opportunity to look at the kind of yoga teacher I don't want to become, and I have also, through having my beliefs smashed, learned something about how gullible I am, and how easily I can get sucked into something if I don't approach things with my eyes open.