Chlark in Wonderland
I finally saw Alice this weekend. I loved the book as a kid (I even memorized The Walrus and The Carpenter to prove to my uncle that girls WERE SO smart), so of course I was terrified they were going to Ruin It. Even so, I was caught off-guard by the beginning. I hadn't seen any of the ads, so the first few minutes caught me by surprise - I wondered if my husband hadn't downloaded the wrong show. But after yelling at me to trust him, I continued watching and IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. Twisty fun, but fun. In in particular, I loved the many sly references to the book: the "oysters" aren't able to feel their feet; the "drink me" room grows smaller rather than Alice growing larger; the Duchess is actually smokin' hot! And they had some terrific actors: Kathy Bates, Matt Frewer, Tim Curry - COLM MEANY, who I would probably watch read out of the proverbial phone book.*
But what I really, really, really loved about it was Alice/Hatter. It was so very Chlarky. As I watched it I thought "Oooooh, somebody needs to write an Alice/SV cross-over fic!". Then I realized it pretty much WAS a gender-swapped SV cross-over fic:
- Alice (Clark) is in love with Jack (Lana), who gets himself in a spot of trouble and needs to be rescued.
- Alice attempts the rescue, only to find herself in a strange place populated by very odd inhabitants (Smallville)
- Soon after landing in Wonderland, Alice meets Hatter (Chloe), who obviously has the hots for her but who Alice does not trust
- Hatter agrees to help Alice save Jack. Together, the two have several adventures with narrow escapes. Hatter uses his superior knowledge of Wonderland to assist Alice, and Alice uses her kick-ass fighting skills to save Hatter.
- Along the way, we realize that Alice and Hatter are really sort of perfect together, and Alice realizes she trusts Hatter more than Jack, and is also quite attracted to him.
- Just as they are about to kiss! Jack re-appears and interrupts them.
- Jack persuades Alice to come with him, and Hatter lets her go -- he wants her to be happy with her boyfriend.
- Later, Alice and Hatter are re-united. Hatter gives her a long harangue about being with someone who is obviously No Good for her. He lets her go AGAIN, though, because he wants her to be happy & make her own decisions.
- More adventures and then together, Alice and Hatter save the day.
- Jacks (whose duplicity has been revealed to be against his mother rather than Alice) asks Alice to marry him; Alice refuses. She wants to return to her own world. Hatter also wants her to stay, but pulls back at the last minute -- he's not sure she wants him & he wants her to be happy.
-- Alice returns to her own world, in the hospital, only to find out it was HATTER who had gone through the mirror and brought her there (if I'm remembering this correctly). They're re-united and it's all Happily Ever After from there.
There was obviously a lot more to the movie than that. There was all kinds of stuff about letting go of the past and finding your courage and facing reality and not going for the quick emotional fix. But I wouldn't have appreciated all that nearly as much if I didn't feel as if I had finally gotten a Happy Chlark Ending.
Thank you, SyFy, for getting it right. I think I can now even forgive you your dumb name switch.
*And then there were the actors they didn't get. The White Rabbit and Carpenter looked like the poor man's versions of Christopher Walken and George Carlin. Maybe they just didn't have the budget? Wait - George Carlin is still alive, right? *runs off to look it up*