Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
Random thoughts on returning from my husband's 25-Year High School Reunion, Hosted Somewhere in Nebraska:
- Cicadas are NOT insects. They are tiny, malevolent aliens bent on human destruction.
- Nothing says "Yes, this IS the 21st century" to me like driving through Adair County, Iowa and seeing all the stark, white windmills. It's almost as good as traveling by jet-pack or having a food synthesizer in my kitchen.
- Nobody at 44 looks remotely like they did when they were 18. REMOTELY.
- The 80s fashion revival currently in the works has conveniently ignored all the enormous glasses, bad perms and peach-colored polo shirts people actually wore during the 80s.
- I hit 145 pounds when I was 13 and immediately became the class fat-ass. Now that I'm thirty-five and still weigh 145 pounds, I get regularly told that I am too skinny. Since snorting and muttering "How ironic" tends to not go over well for me in these situations, I am calling for a moratorium on discussions about weight. Starting now, everyone everywhere needs to STFU about everyone else's weight. For that matter, I'm not too fond of anyone complaining about their own weight either.
- Cheerfully admitting that you caused the problems in your marriage by cheating on your spouse is awkward, but can be rather endearing if done right. Bitterly complaining about the problems caused in your marriage by your spouse's cheating is awkward and will inevitably cause your listeners to go looking for another drink. This is terribly unfair but nevertheless true.
- It's kind of sad to realize that after raising children, burying parents, and struggling to find/keep jobs through twenty-five years and three recessions, there are still some people who won't talk to one another because they had a different set of friends in high school.
- Yeah, you may have gone to seminary and are an upstanding pillar of your community now, but there will always be that small group of people who remember that you were the one who used to slip issues of Playgirl into the band teacher's music folder. And now with Facebook, the whole world can know it too.
- The Pretty in Pink movie soundtrack will always and forever pwn all other, lesser movie soundtracks.
- Cicadas are NOT insects. They are tiny, malevolent aliens bent on human destruction.
- Nothing says "Yes, this IS the 21st century" to me like driving through Adair County, Iowa and seeing all the stark, white windmills. It's almost as good as traveling by jet-pack or having a food synthesizer in my kitchen.
- Nobody at 44 looks remotely like they did when they were 18. REMOTELY.
- The 80s fashion revival currently in the works has conveniently ignored all the enormous glasses, bad perms and peach-colored polo shirts people actually wore during the 80s.
- I hit 145 pounds when I was 13 and immediately became the class fat-ass. Now that I'm thirty-five and still weigh 145 pounds, I get regularly told that I am too skinny. Since snorting and muttering "How ironic" tends to not go over well for me in these situations, I am calling for a moratorium on discussions about weight. Starting now, everyone everywhere needs to STFU about everyone else's weight. For that matter, I'm not too fond of anyone complaining about their own weight either.
- Cheerfully admitting that you caused the problems in your marriage by cheating on your spouse is awkward, but can be rather endearing if done right. Bitterly complaining about the problems caused in your marriage by your spouse's cheating is awkward and will inevitably cause your listeners to go looking for another drink. This is terribly unfair but nevertheless true.
- It's kind of sad to realize that after raising children, burying parents, and struggling to find/keep jobs through twenty-five years and three recessions, there are still some people who won't talk to one another because they had a different set of friends in high school.
- Yeah, you may have gone to seminary and are an upstanding pillar of your community now, but there will always be that small group of people who remember that you were the one who used to slip issues of Playgirl into the band teacher's music folder. And now with Facebook, the whole world can know it too.
- The Pretty in Pink movie soundtrack will always and forever pwn all other, lesser movie soundtracks.