Just a Thought (mini essay on Xander in S7)
The saddest part of the series ending to me was the potential lost (no...not the potentials *G*). The wonderful hints of true character growth that we were shown glimpses of but were back burnered for the larger FE storyline. One character in particular is Xander.
I have both loved and hated Xander depending on which facet of his character was showing at any given time. I hated his pettiness and bigotry. Didn't like his dog in the manger attitude where Buffy was concerned and felt he was terribly unfair to Anya during their romance. The one time he was honest, when he ended the wedding, he was hurtful in the way and time that he was honest. Really, leaving HER to face that room of people was so unkind it defies belief!
At the same time he was always loyal, brave, and plucky. He had no super powers but was always ready to help out at risk of his own life and limb. He was also bravely surviving an abusive situation in the home of his parents, becoming a better person than they modeled to him as he was growing up.
His marvelous "crayon" speech to Willow at the end of S6 is often "cheapened" by being reduced to the crayon part IMHO. His words were a perfect expresssion of unconditional love, agape, towards a person who was not acting in a way to encourage love of any sort. He loved Willow no matter her choices, her actions, even up to her killing him. What a beautiful expression of his capacity to love!
The end of S6 showed his two sides in sharp relief actually because just as the better Xander exemplified that pure love mentioned in the previous paragraph, the jealous Xander had to destroy Dawn's illusions where Spike was concerned just in the previous episode. There was no reason save jealousy for Xander to tell Dawn what had happened, or what he had perceived had happened between her sister and the vampire Dawn idolized. That was not his place and the timing was clearly because of his jealousy over Dawnn holding Spike up as a paragon of sorts.
Xander's greatest betrayal was leaving Anya as he did. Now I think the wedding should have been canceled as he had demonstrated that he was not ready for a marriage all along. It was the way he walked away leaving her to pick up the pieces and face a room full of people, many hostile to her already. He should have at least joined her in the announcement that it was off instead of taking that self pitying walk in the rain.
His reaction after Anya returned was insensitive at best. His response to seeing Anya and Spike on the web feed was hypocritical at best but fairly "human". He showed such disappointment and disgust when he discovered that Anya had returned to her roots when he pulled the rug from under her, again showing a lack of sensitivity. Clearly by the end of S6, with the exception of his love avowal to Willow, he was on a downward spiral that included the drinking that he feared would be his future anyway.
Along came S7 and we see a sadder but wiser Xander. This Xander has begun to grow up. He is watching more and speaking less. He is noticing more.
He defends Anya and trys to protect her from Buffy doing her duty more than once. He has finally understood his part in why Anya was back to being a vengeance demon. He has finally seen the hurt he caused to this woman he vowed to love. He has also realized that he may have lost her forever and that the responsibility was his and his alone.
He was not pleased to see Spike back in their lives, but not nearly as hateful as in times past. He was more willing to watch and wait. Indeed, even Anya remarks on it by pointing out that Xander usually led the Spike hate parade...his response to her was silence.
Lest I go on too long, let me point to a few telling scenes that showed a facinating direction the charcter seemed to be heading in S7:
The hand on the shoulder moment in LMPTM. Only Xander made the effort to show Spike they appreciated what he was going to have to do to face his demons and detrigger himself. Never would Xander of old have noticed Spikes plight much felt or shown sympathy to him!
He was careful not to succumb quickly to Anya's End Of The World advances...only after making sure they were on the same page did he indulge his desires. I think these two really were headed for a reunion that would have been built on honesty and acceptance, one that would have had a good chance for success.
He was finally putting his relationship to Buffy on the proper level. He was taking on the role of the good friend and helper she always assigned to him instead of the "If she would only notice me we'd be lovers" role he had harboured.
Throughout S7 he spoke far less than in the past but his gestures and his expressions clearly showed he was not missing a thing in they dynamics. He saw Willow's fears and insecurities and stood by her. He saw Dawn's insecurities and attempted to bolster her confidence and worth. He saw Buffy's real concern for Spike and instead of lectures was silently supportive.
He and Spike would not ever be best buddies perhaps because of their past history, but there was an understanding and appreciation one for the other that would have made it quite easy for them to work together without the anamosity of before.
All in all....this was one character I would have loved to see come to age in another season because he was finally growing up to be the man he always had the potential to become. Perhaps the term potential was more apt than just for the Slayerettes....perhaps the potential within all the characters was being realized by the end of S7. At least the foreshadowing was there.
All IMHO of course.
One reason I love S6 and S7 so much is the way it DID depict the movement from childhood to the world of the adult. The directions moving outward (I mean how many teen friendships remain unchanged or as close as we go off into the world?) and more thought about others began to hold weight. To me these two seasons make the series all the more real and beautiful for all the pain depicted. Isn't growing up and learning a painful process for most of us?
Kathleen
I have both loved and hated Xander depending on which facet of his character was showing at any given time. I hated his pettiness and bigotry. Didn't like his dog in the manger attitude where Buffy was concerned and felt he was terribly unfair to Anya during their romance. The one time he was honest, when he ended the wedding, he was hurtful in the way and time that he was honest. Really, leaving HER to face that room of people was so unkind it defies belief!
At the same time he was always loyal, brave, and plucky. He had no super powers but was always ready to help out at risk of his own life and limb. He was also bravely surviving an abusive situation in the home of his parents, becoming a better person than they modeled to him as he was growing up.
His marvelous "crayon" speech to Willow at the end of S6 is often "cheapened" by being reduced to the crayon part IMHO. His words were a perfect expresssion of unconditional love, agape, towards a person who was not acting in a way to encourage love of any sort. He loved Willow no matter her choices, her actions, even up to her killing him. What a beautiful expression of his capacity to love!
The end of S6 showed his two sides in sharp relief actually because just as the better Xander exemplified that pure love mentioned in the previous paragraph, the jealous Xander had to destroy Dawn's illusions where Spike was concerned just in the previous episode. There was no reason save jealousy for Xander to tell Dawn what had happened, or what he had perceived had happened between her sister and the vampire Dawn idolized. That was not his place and the timing was clearly because of his jealousy over Dawnn holding Spike up as a paragon of sorts.
Xander's greatest betrayal was leaving Anya as he did. Now I think the wedding should have been canceled as he had demonstrated that he was not ready for a marriage all along. It was the way he walked away leaving her to pick up the pieces and face a room full of people, many hostile to her already. He should have at least joined her in the announcement that it was off instead of taking that self pitying walk in the rain.
His reaction after Anya returned was insensitive at best. His response to seeing Anya and Spike on the web feed was hypocritical at best but fairly "human". He showed such disappointment and disgust when he discovered that Anya had returned to her roots when he pulled the rug from under her, again showing a lack of sensitivity. Clearly by the end of S6, with the exception of his love avowal to Willow, he was on a downward spiral that included the drinking that he feared would be his future anyway.
Along came S7 and we see a sadder but wiser Xander. This Xander has begun to grow up. He is watching more and speaking less. He is noticing more.
He defends Anya and trys to protect her from Buffy doing her duty more than once. He has finally understood his part in why Anya was back to being a vengeance demon. He has finally seen the hurt he caused to this woman he vowed to love. He has also realized that he may have lost her forever and that the responsibility was his and his alone.
He was not pleased to see Spike back in their lives, but not nearly as hateful as in times past. He was more willing to watch and wait. Indeed, even Anya remarks on it by pointing out that Xander usually led the Spike hate parade...his response to her was silence.
Lest I go on too long, let me point to a few telling scenes that showed a facinating direction the charcter seemed to be heading in S7:
The hand on the shoulder moment in LMPTM. Only Xander made the effort to show Spike they appreciated what he was going to have to do to face his demons and detrigger himself. Never would Xander of old have noticed Spikes plight much felt or shown sympathy to him!
He was careful not to succumb quickly to Anya's End Of The World advances...only after making sure they were on the same page did he indulge his desires. I think these two really were headed for a reunion that would have been built on honesty and acceptance, one that would have had a good chance for success.
He was finally putting his relationship to Buffy on the proper level. He was taking on the role of the good friend and helper she always assigned to him instead of the "If she would only notice me we'd be lovers" role he had harboured.
Throughout S7 he spoke far less than in the past but his gestures and his expressions clearly showed he was not missing a thing in they dynamics. He saw Willow's fears and insecurities and stood by her. He saw Dawn's insecurities and attempted to bolster her confidence and worth. He saw Buffy's real concern for Spike and instead of lectures was silently supportive.
He and Spike would not ever be best buddies perhaps because of their past history, but there was an understanding and appreciation one for the other that would have made it quite easy for them to work together without the anamosity of before.
All in all....this was one character I would have loved to see come to age in another season because he was finally growing up to be the man he always had the potential to become. Perhaps the term potential was more apt than just for the Slayerettes....perhaps the potential within all the characters was being realized by the end of S7. At least the foreshadowing was there.
All IMHO of course.
One reason I love S6 and S7 so much is the way it DID depict the movement from childhood to the world of the adult. The directions moving outward (I mean how many teen friendships remain unchanged or as close as we go off into the world?) and more thought about others began to hold weight. To me these two seasons make the series all the more real and beautiful for all the pain depicted. Isn't growing up and learning a painful process for most of us?
Kathleen