(no subject)
So I was wrong. About a few things. Actually, most of those things I had to look forward to were either false or vastly qualified. For instance, the dance classes were cancelled, and the soccer thing was the last time for the semester. It’ll start again sometime later in the month. And the cute Austrian girl? Not dates. Fortunately, I didn’t need to ask her. I found out instead during poker that she’s been dating someone else possibly the entire time we’ve been hanging out. As it happens, another American TA from the south with red hair and a beard. It was a little unsettling.
I look back at the things that I’ve just gone through, the nondates (there’s even been another pair of them), the time I seriously offended someone during the ski trip, the disappearance of most of the people and opportunities I thought were turning out, the collapse of my self-confidence, and I realize I should be depressed right now. Just from looking at it. It’s the funny thing about being depressed-which I was until, well, hours ago and probably will be again as soon as I go home from work-that you know you’re not a rational observer and you can’t tell if things should actually be depressing you. Well I can tell now that it makes a bit of sense. It’s not the life-changing catastrophes you usually hear about, but mine’s pathological, not incidental.
Interesting note: the BBC currently has a couple of stories online about how (1) anti-depressants don’t work and (2) depression is actually good for you. The second of which they support in part with a list of famous people (mostly artists of some sort) who have suffered from depression. They neglected to mention the suicides. I’d have to do the research to know how many, but given that they actually included Vincent Van Gogh in that list, I don’t think they were being picky for uplifting life stories. I’ve been upset at the BBC before, but I find it hard to describe how bad this is.
Well, things go up and down. I was down most of yesterday, didn’t think I had it in me to go to work, (didn’t think so today either, but that’s mainly because I) then went to the Stammtisch, which was at first a bit awkward and exacerbating, but ended up pretty cool when I had a fun conversation with the new TA in town. Plus I’ve got a fairly full weekend docket-clubbing tonight, which is new, and my housemate’s pop-punk show tomorrow, which is, also, rather new. Should be crazy. Might be fun. Like a lot.
There’s been a hell of a lot going on in my life, but I’ve been skiing for the past two weeks almost non-stop and had no internet connection except for a 4 hour period over the weekend in between, so I haven’t really been able to update much. Now I think I’ll start doing it a bit more.
I look back at the things that I’ve just gone through, the nondates (there’s even been another pair of them), the time I seriously offended someone during the ski trip, the disappearance of most of the people and opportunities I thought were turning out, the collapse of my self-confidence, and I realize I should be depressed right now. Just from looking at it. It’s the funny thing about being depressed-which I was until, well, hours ago and probably will be again as soon as I go home from work-that you know you’re not a rational observer and you can’t tell if things should actually be depressing you. Well I can tell now that it makes a bit of sense. It’s not the life-changing catastrophes you usually hear about, but mine’s pathological, not incidental.
Interesting note: the BBC currently has a couple of stories online about how (1) anti-depressants don’t work and (2) depression is actually good for you. The second of which they support in part with a list of famous people (mostly artists of some sort) who have suffered from depression. They neglected to mention the suicides. I’d have to do the research to know how many, but given that they actually included Vincent Van Gogh in that list, I don’t think they were being picky for uplifting life stories. I’ve been upset at the BBC before, but I find it hard to describe how bad this is.
Well, things go up and down. I was down most of yesterday, didn’t think I had it in me to go to work, (didn’t think so today either, but that’s mainly because I) then went to the Stammtisch, which was at first a bit awkward and exacerbating, but ended up pretty cool when I had a fun conversation with the new TA in town. Plus I’ve got a fairly full weekend docket-clubbing tonight, which is new, and my housemate’s pop-punk show tomorrow, which is, also, rather new. Should be crazy. Might be fun. Like a lot.
There’s been a hell of a lot going on in my life, but I’ve been skiing for the past two weeks almost non-stop and had no internet connection except for a 4 hour period over the weekend in between, so I haven’t really been able to update much. Now I think I’ll start doing it a bit more.