The Other Side: Part Two; Torchwood fic, Ianto/Jack
Author name: erikssiren
Title: The Other Side
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: R for swearing and adult situations
Summary: Set immediately following the events of Children of Earth, Jack tries to find a way to escape his pain and Ianto Jones is alive. Sort of. JackxIanto, GwenxRhys, DoctorxRose and slight mention of MickeyxJake. Appearances from several Torchwood and Doctor Who characters. Spoilers for all seasons of Doctor Who and Torchwood, as well as the TW radio plays.
Art by misshapenmuse
“Gwen!” Lois prided herself on being a generally quiet person, but when they hadn’t seen their leader in three days and finally had some answers about the alien and its device, yet said leader refused to leave her office, she resorted to banging on the door and shouting with little guilt. “Gwen, the program is done with translating the device and Mickey’s got it figured out…mostly” She ignored the half-whispered ‘oi!’ from behind her. “Martha’s done with the autopsy and I found some more on the Enfros and what it meant by an ‘essence.’ Gwen?” She banged on the door a few more times before walking halfway across the Hub to the others in defeat. ‘She’s been in there for three days!”
“But she’s been home,” Rhys insisted. Lois called him earlier when the team decided it had been long enough since they had last seen their leader. When he hadn’t been able to coax her out, they called Andy in as well. Then the results began to stack up and Lois had been designated to give it a try. Again. Rhys stared at the closed door and leaned against the couch arm as Andy had sprawled across the whole thing after his attempt failed. “She’s been home,” Rhys repeated. “ Granted, she’s home late and gone early, but there’s always dirty dishes in the sink and clothes on the floor.”
“At least she’s eating,” Martha sighed from her seat on Mickey’s desk. “But why doesn’t she come out? It can’t just be because of our fight.”
“Do you lot ever watch the news?” Andy scoffed from his scrutiny of a baby merchandise magazine Gwen had left lying around. At the blank stares he threw it down and sat up. “Bloody Torchwood. See, Her Majesty’s Armed Forces is sending out troops to help the Americans in the Middle East, with representatives from the Army, the Navy…everyone.”
“So?” Mickey asked, his eyes glued to the translations on the screen. Though Tosh’s program had worked Mickey was still trying to make sense of the markings.
“The trip was delayed nearly three weeks ago because they thought they’d be taking on some more people from the Air Force.”
“Andy, your point?” Lois demanded though her eyes were flickering to Gwen’s shut door.
“My point is there was no cruiser in orbit the night Jack left, was there?” Rhys had told the others what had happed that night. He felt it only fair since they were part of Jack’s life too, even Andy. “He just used his fancy wristwatch thing to teleport himself nearby and then took off and joined up with the RAF.”
“So you think they delayed a mission of international importance just because of Jack?” Martha asked. “I know he’s got a lot pull with the military, but even I wouldn’t be able to get them to do something like that.”
“But it is possible. Gwen said he’s been around for a while, so who knows what connections he’s made?”
“How do you know all this?” Mickey asked with a small smirk.
“I don’t…” Andy muttered. “But it’s a good a theory as any!”
“It’s ridiculous!” Martha said, a little too sharply. “I mean, why do that and lie to Gwen?”
“Because he knew she’d go after him,” Rhys answered quietly. “He wanted us to have a normal life. It’s what he’s always tried to give her despite this job.”
“It sort of makes sense, though. We work less with the regularl military and more with UNIT. There wouldn’t be a huge risk of us finding him.” Mickey said after a moment, his eyes a little unfocused on the program running on the screen in front of him. Something flickered and he glanced at the device before writing something down in his notebook.
“But he isn’t here!” Martha insisted. Her voice echoed a bit and as everyone had turned their focus to the conversation, so they missed the creak of a door opening and the sight of a slightly pale and drawn Gwen Cooper peering out. “Rhys, you said Jack left in a solid beam of light, yeah? I’ve used that transporter and seen it used. It’s more like you just disappear rather then get beamed away.”
No one argued and they sat in silence until Rhys finally saw Gwen standing just outside her door. “There you are, lovely! We’ve been worried about you.” He hugged her briefly and laid a hand on the small of her back as he led her toward the group.
“Is it possible?” She whispered tiredly, eyes sweeping over her friends. “Is it actually possible?”
“Is what possible, sweetheart?” Rhys asked gently.
“Is it possible Jack is still on this planet?” They all stared at each other guiltily before the bottom drawer of Mickey’s desk suddenly began to hum.
“What the hell is that?” Martha cried, jumping away from the desk. Andy leapt to the back of the couch and Rhys pulled Lois and Gwen away. All but Rhys and Mickey had hands on their guns. Mickey even seemed surprised as he fumbled for the key around his neck. Martha had assumed it was a TARDIS key until now.
“Seriously mate,” Andy yelled as the humming grew. “What the hell is that?”
“It’s answers,” Mickey answered triumphantly as he took out the transparent sheet he had poked at days before.
“Answers to what?” Martha asked. “You know we aren’t supposed to keep the stuff we find!” She cried when he didn’t answer.
“Yeah, well, I brought this tech with me. I already knew what it was so the rule didn’t really apply.”
“And what exactly does it do?” Andy asked from his perch on the couch. He wasn’t a coward, but when something in the Hub starts humming, he didn’t want to be too close.
“It’s a communication device Rose and I came up with on Pete’s World just in case we were separated between realities when she was trying to get back here,” Mickey explained as he set the now-quiet tech on the desk. “It allows brief messages to cross the void and onto the matching device.”
“So Rose is contacting you?” Martha asked incredulously. “But I thought the Doctor said that was impossible?”
“Travel between the worlds is supposedly impossible,” Mickey clarified, grinning. “But this was part of the research Rose and I lead when she tried to get back here to help Donna and the Doctor.” Though so far this all went over everyone’s head (except Martha’s), they listened intently. Strange alien tech deserved all their attention, especially when Mickey started tapping at it. “We agreed to use it only in extreme emergencies, as a warning system of sorts. Because the Year That Never was never happened there, Pete’s World is a year ahead.” Blank stares greeted him. “Their 2011 is our 2010. That’s how Rose knew something was happening here when Davros stole the Earth since things were going wrong there.”
“Hang on,” Andy interjected, now standing in front of the couch since the humming stopped “The year that what?”
Mickey winced and glanced at Martha, who was glaring at the tech genius. While the Doctor had to explain to Mickey what had happened with Saxon after returning the Earth, Jack had only told Ianto and Mickey knew he should keep the others in the dark.
“Doesn’t matter. The important thing is we can anticipate most crises here. It’s like an earthquake detector but with alien threats.”
“Then what about the 456?” Gwen asked, stepping around Rhys, her voice throaty as though she had been crying. “Where was your precious Rose and her warning system so we could have prevented Ianto-” She cut off in a harsh sob.
“It’s not perfect,” Mickey said sadly, standing to comfort his friend but she took a step back and he sat back down heavily on the computer chair. “Some major events happen here, but not there and vice versa. There is no Jack Harkness in that world, so everything he impacted here probably didn’t happen there. That’s nearly two centuries of changes.” He looked over at Gwen, who started dully back. “Torchwood London blasted the 456 when they did try and invade. It’s just hard to predict what is different there. Sometimes they’re complete opposites like me and Rickey, or Pete and Jackie. And other times, well…Rose was Jackie’s dog in that world.”
Rhys snorted, but Andy seemed intrigued. “So I could be some big posh business man or something?”
Mickey grinned. “Maybe. Really, it depends on the actions you make here. See, every separate reality is actually made of the ‘what ifs’ of this world.”
“So if you dropped out of college or ended up marrying someone here,” Lois said slowly, “you could graduate with honors and turn them down there?”
“Or if you turned left instead of right.”
“But some things are the same, right?” Gwen sniffed. “You said the 456 invaded there as well.”
“More often things are similar when dealing with aliens,” Mickey said, nodding. “We had a Racnos as well, but the Doctor and Rose destroyed her and Torchwood blasted her ship. But then again, Pete made health drinks just like he wanted to here.”
“Are there Weevils as well?” Rhys asked.
“We’re getting off point,” Martha said sternly. She wasn’t sure where alternate realities fell in the Doctor’s rules of divulging Timey-Wimey-sensitive information, but she didn’t want to risk it. “What does Rose say?”
Mickey returned his gaze to the communicator on the table. He pressed a few more seemingly invisible buttons. “It might take a moment for me to figure out the message. The devices only allow short bursts of information, unless they’ve been charging for a while, and her shorthand is sometimes hard to understand.” He chuckled. “I think the Doctor-” Mickey stopped and stared at the message that appeared. “No way.”
“What is it?” Lois asked as Martha leaned over Mickey’s shoulder.
Martha gasped. “Oh my God.”
***
Ianto Jones sat at the back counter of his shop, one eye on the door and the other on the coat he had been mending all morning. His business, A Stitch in Time, opened a year ago when he decided he didn’t want to live off his family’s money any longer but rather own his own tailor shop.
His father owned a very successful winery and was disappointed when his only son announced he wanted nothing to do with the family business. Being both a practical and family man, Dayffd Jones split his son’s inheritance in half, giving one portion for whatever endeavor his son decided and saving the other for whoever he decided to give the company to run. This suited both Jones men just fine and Ianto eventually opened a shop in Cardiff, miles from his country childhood home.
Ianto finished the last stitch and smoothed the soft material over the counter. A young couple, Lisa and Gavin, he thought it was, found the greatcoat in their attic. They had no use for it, but wanted it mended so they could donate it to the historical society.
It looked from the World War II era, perhaps worn by an RAF pilot. The fabric felt familiar beneath his fingers and Ianto tried to think why. Oh yes, how could he have forgotten? It looked exactly like Jack’s and he did love that coat.
A sharp pain dug into Ianto’s head and he inhaled sharply. It grew more intense and he bent over, resting his head on the counter. He remembered waiting by the Bay for what felt like hours, a thermos in one hand and coffee mug in the other. He remembered the nerves and desperation, he needed this to work to save Lisa. He remembered the cold concrete floor of the warehouse and the heat of Jack’s touch. He remembered the guilt, confusion and lust swirling in him and settling into a sour block in the pit of his stomach as he walked away.
Then just as quickly as it came, the pain disappeared. He sighed, straightening up. This had been happening ever since he had that strange dream three nights ago. Since then, he was remembering events that never took place and people he had never met, always accompanied by an intense headache. Most of the memories contained one Captain Jack Hakness, only he never knew a man by that name.
He did, though. His entire body and soul positively ached to be near him again. His fingers itched to run through soft hair, lips tingled with wanting to taste-Ianto stood abruptly. This was madness. How could he long for a man he never met?
Flashing bulbs and shouting reporters drew Ianto’s attention to the television mounted on the wall. He watched as the cameraman struggled to get a shot of a field, empty save for a group of people behind some police tape. Possible alien artefact found, the ticker at the bottom of the screen read. Torchwood investigates, it continued as the camera zoomed in on the small group of people crouching and looking at something just out of the camera’s range. A young man with longish ginger hair stood, PDA in hand. A blonde woman, looking not much older than he, joined him and they stared intently at whatever was on the PDA’s screen.
Ianto knew her: Rose Tyler. She was the daughter of health drink mogul and Torchwood leader Pete Tyler and his wife, Jackie. Rose had been sent to boarding schools when she was young and only returned home a few months after the Cyberman had been destroyed. Now she was one of Torchwood’s top agents and led their best team, along with the doctor, John Smith. The doctor came into full view on the telly as though summoned by Ianto’s thoughts, peering at something through rectangular-framed glasses, some sort of metal tube in his hand. He looked up and smiled softly as Rose approached with a kit in hand.
Smith and Rose had started being seen together about a year ago and there were whispers about his immediate placement of second in command to the young woman. Their wedding was set for next month, according to reports and a bit of gossip. Ianto made it his point to know everything about, well, everything, and he wasn’t above getting it from the local elderly women who liked to come in and coo over him.
But there was something else, a memory he seemed to have forgotten now tugging at the back of his brain. He had met the Doctor before…yes, he had seen him over the subwave network Harriet Jones set up when Daleks invaded. Rose he recognized from footage of the Battle at Canary Warf he had stumbled upon when cleaning Jack’s office while the others worked on fixing the Hub and they all waited for Gwen to give up her vigil over Jack’s body. Rose had unintentionally made Jack immortal, thousands of years into the future, just before abandoning him in space station full of corpses. Jack had told him everything about them, about everything that led him to that night after John Hart had been dealt with, after Jack had returned from his time with…the Doctor.
Rose Tyler and the Doctor. The alien Doctor who Jack had loved once, when he had a different face.
Ianto’s brain caught up with itself and forced his thoughts to a halt. This was insane, he was going insane. How else would he have memories that weren’t his own yet felt like they belonged to him?
“…surely have an answer soon, with Britain’s top alien experts on the case. Harold Saxon, media liaison for Torchwood, will make an announcement…”
Alien. Had something alien done this to him? He could barely think the possibility, it sounded like something out of a comic, yet with the Cyberman and that star thing at Christmas and the public’s knowledge of Torchwood, aliens weren’t so far-fetched an idea anymore.
Whatever the reason, he had these memories of Rose Tyler and Doctor John Smith. They had to be able to help. Resolute, Ianto hung up the coat, grabbed his keys and closed up shop. Figuring in the time to grab the diary he had started after he had his first nightmare, as well as a change of clothes and essentials, Ianto would probably still beat the team to London. He would sit and wait for them as long as possible, he needed answers.
Ianto stalked across the Plass dotted with the shadows of the zeppelins, his mind already mapping out the quickest route to London, when he found himself in front of a dilapidated building. Looking around, he realized he had somehow ended up in front of the old tourist office on the Bay, where he had offered Jack a cup of coffee. And why not? He did work here after all. He reached in his pocket for the key to unlock the triple deadlock before he jerked, like waking violently from a dream, realizing what he was doing and thinking. Ianto stared at the door in horror. What the hell was going on?
He backed away from the door slowly and resisted the urge to run all the way to his flat. He needed answers and fast, before his mind was no longer his own.
~*~
After arguing for an hour with the receptionist who would have given Owen a run for his Prat of the Year award (who was Owen?) Ianto found himself thrust into a small room with a table and reflective glass. An interrogation room, then. He’d been in one like this once, when he was caught with a group of friends shoplifting during his short-lived rebellious stage and the local police tried to turn them on each other.
Time passed either slowly or quickly, he couldn’t tell, but after some point raised voice reached his ears and grew louder before Doctor John Smith suddenly burst into the room.
“Hello there!” He said brightly, even as Rose continued to argue with her father just on the other side of the door. Apparently Pete Tyler felt a quiet tailor with a sudden influx of strange memories, demanding to see his top two agents was a threat to public safety. Ianto wasn’t sure if he agreed with him or felt insulted.
The Doctor shut the door smartly on the arguing pair and studied Ianto quite seriously, though his grin remained. Ianto scrutinized him as well. He wore a very well-made suit of deep green, almost black, with lighter grey-green pinstripes. It looked custom, at least the fabric looked unfamiliar. The deep burgundy tie looked store bought, but expensive, and matched his chucks. That, coupled, with the outrageous hair gave the doctor the look of an eccentric.
“Jones, Ianto Jones,” he said eventually, but strangely, like his tongue was testing out the words. He leaned back against the glass and studied Ianto again.
Nice to meet you Jones, Ianto Jones. The pain in his head was sharp and fleeting, like a pinprick, and Ianto did his best to not even blink. John Smith continued to stare, as though he could peer into his very soul.
“Jack spoke of you often,” he said finally. He tilted his head, as though listening for something.
“I don’t know any Jack Harkness,” Ianto said softly, respectfully, but firmly.
Smith just smiled, as though Ianto had answered his question. “Did I say Harkness?” He tugged on his ear in mock thought. “No matter, you do know him. I’d go so far as to say you love him. At least, part of you does.”
Ianto was really losing his patience. He came here for help, not mind games. “Sir, I have really had enough riddles for one day.”
“Allons-y then! What is your birth date?” He pushed off the wall, crossed his arms across his chest and took a step forward.
Ianto was slightly thrown off but answered anyway. “August 19, 1983.”
“That’s funny, the record we have on file says March 28, 1983.”
Ianto stilled, terrified. “What’s wrong with me?” He whispered.
“Not a thing.”
“But-”
“So!” He almost shouted, launching himself into a chair. “What does a tailor/Torchwood archivist want with me and Rose?” He peered at Ianto over his glasses.
“I’m not a member of Torchwood,” Ianto answered automatically.
“Oh no? Tell me then, what is the standard procedure when encountering a non-hostile extraterrestrial within Torchwood perimeters?”
“Demand race, planet and reason for infiltration. If they refuse, detain for further questioning.” The words tumbled out before Ianto knew what he was saying. He met the Doctor’s eyes, scared. John Smith raised an eyebrow.
“One more. Why did CCTV cameras pick you up in front of the visitor’s entrance to Torchwood Cardiff?”
Ianto swallowed hard. He had forgotten about the cameras. “There’s no such thing.”
Smith leaned in. “Not in this world.”
Ianto mimicked the action. “Please sir, I need answers. Something isn’t right and the only thing I know is I remember you as though I’ve met you before. Something is wrong with me and you’re the only one who can help!”
“Nothing is wrong with you, Ianto Jones.” He said gently as Rose entered with an evidence bag in hand. She smiled warmly to Ianto as she handed the bag to her fiancée. He dumped the contents, some sort of strange, peanut-shaped device with a dial on one end and a screen on the other, onto the table. It also had connections on one side, like something plugged into it. Ianto stared at it while the Doctor and Rose stared at him.
“Know what it is?” The Doctor asked quietly. Ianto shook his head, eyes glued to the nondescript object. It was the closest thing to alien life he’d ever been. He thought. He wasn’t sure anymore. “It’s used by the Enfros, though it came from technology used by the Brigone. They invaded…”
Ianto, are we at war and you didn’t tell me?
Yes sir, and by the way I asked these aliens to pop in and help.
“Ianto?”
Ianto shook his head clear and looked over at the Doctor. “Sorry, sir. So it’s alien technology. What does it do?”
The Doctor smiled broadly. “Very well done, Jones Ianto Jones! Most people would demand what it has to do with them, I’m very impressed. The Enfros are a trade race, but not in antiques or food or those cute little statues of the-right,” he picked up the device after Rose elbowed him. Ianto hid a smirk. “No, they use this to trade souls. Well, there’s another half, but…”
“Souls?” Ianto whispered. He glanced at Rose who was looking at the device with the same wonder he was sure was on his face.
“Well, they call them essences, sort of. Their language is very hard to translate into English. The closest name you’ll get to the actual one in this language is a soul collector. The Enfros travel the galaxy with this looking for souls just hanging about, ripe for the stealing.”
“So they’re like ghosts, then, rather than souls.”
“Yes! Well, sort of. You see, the stronger the emotion connected to a death, the longer the soul lingers. This,” Placed the collector back on the table and pointed to the screen, “works as a radar. It measures the intensity of death-related emotion. They use this like a radio dial to hone in on the signal.” He fiddled with the red dial inscribed in strange markings.
“If you tweak the settings just right, you can find the strongest emotion in connection with that death within five miles. That’s how they get the most money: con the grieving out of as much money as possible. What’s material belongings or inconsequential gold when a loved one’s soul could be with you forever?” His eyes and tone had darkened, sending shivers down Ianto’s spine. He wasn’t sure what to say or to think. Alien devices that collect souls definitely sounded fictional, yet there it sat. “How did it get here?” He asked after a moment.
“It came through the Rift, only we don’t know where or when it came from,” Rose answered sadly. “See, there’s a rift running through time and space, and it runs straight through Car-London.” Her eyes flickered toward the Doctor at her slip-up but he was still looking at Ianto. “Most of the alien stuff we collect comes through there.”
“Okay...” Ianto said slowly, still struggling to take it all in. This had grown so much bigger from strange dreams and memories and it shook him. How else was he supposed to react? “Then, what does this-”
“-have to do with you?” The Doctor leaned back and rested his feet on the table. “You see, we’re still not quite sure. But-” he said loudly over the start of Ianto’s protests, “we have an idea. We know it has to do with the dreams you told the other agents about before you were taken here. It also has to do with the memories and the headaches. We’ve contacted some people who will help us verify, but in the meantime, tell us about your dreams again.”
Ianto Jones pulled out his diary.
***
Ianto remembers his life there. Need questions to verify. Should we ask if he wants to cross over?
Lois sat in the tourist office, anxious and impatient. The others were down in the Hub, they had started discussing what to do about Rose’s message and it soon turned into recalling memories of Ianto, so she escaped here after a while. She felt awed by merely his name, as the others had built him up to such a great stature and was still intimidated taking over his responsibilities, including this place. Yet it made her feel closer to him as well, like she had been initiated into some secret club. The Gatekeepers of Torchwood.
She imagined they were both average people, content with normal lives, not very talented at anything specific but very organized and able to adapt to whatever their superiors needed before suddenly being thrust into the world of Torchwood. Only he had risen above his beginnings, and Lois still felt very much like a child at the adult’s table. So much went over her head and while everyone was very willing to help, it frustrated her that she couldn’t immediately be up to their speed.
She had read Ianto’s file, and on nights when Gwen was exhausted and hormonal, heard stories about the archivist. He had been through more than any human being so young should have to go through and now they were willing to put him through even more.
~*~
Lois slowly entered the Hub to the sound of Mickey and Gwen shouting at each other. Seems their discussion returned back to deciding what to do about Ianto. It kept them from facing the realization that whatever happened now had very little to do with them. Gwen clung to one option and one option only: bring Ianto back.
“We can’t just drag him over here, the machine that Rose used with Donna was destroyed. Besides, he probably has a life of his own and a job that has nothing to do with Torchwood.” Mickey argued, the strain in his voice indicating Gwen refused to listen to his repeated argument.
“But it’s Ianto,” Gwen insisted.
“Yes, Ianto, who might have a wife and kids; Ianto, with a huge family that will miss him if he just disappears!” Mickey was getting more frustrated by the minute and it seemed he and Gwen were the only ones in the discussion. Lois sidled up to Martha, who was leaning against the autopsy railing, looking down at the two fighting over the table. Rhys stood on the opposite side of the circle and Andy sat on the steps.
“Ianto, with a wife and kids? That doesn’t sound like him at all,” Gwen insisted, crossing her arms.
“Exactly! Because he’s not your Ianto. He’s the other world’s Ianto.”
“Who’s remembering his life here, remembering us.”
“But just because he’s remembering it doesn’t mean he’s living it.”
“How do you mean?” Lois asked. Mickey looked up as though he just realized the others were standing there.
“I think that he may be having these memories but they aren’t like real memories to him. I don’t have any proof, but from what I can tell from the translation program and what’s happened, whatever the device collects must have jogged his memories from this world since it was here originally and since alternate worlds are branches from this one, it’s possible our other selves have our memories locked deep inside. But it’s like when you watch a home movie of your first trip to the beach: You know it happened since there’s proof, but you can’t remember how the sun felt or the ice cream tasted.”
“So like the device was just holding the movie film,” Rhys said slowly. “And when it went over to the other world, it began to play in Ianto’s head?”
“But that doesn’t even make sense!” Gwen cried. “We don’t even know the Enfros’ device has anything to do with this.”
“Yeah, but I’d rather think it does until we know otherwise,” Martha said. “I’ve even tried getting a hold of the Doctor, but he isn’t answering.” She frowned. “He knows when it’s me calling, he always answers.”
“I’m still not convinced bringing Ianto here isn’t the best thing for him.” Gwen returned to the original subject stubbornly. “He’s remembering us and you don’t even know that he isn’t our Ianto, that if the device did put the memories back into his body he isn’t glad to have them. Why can’t you just accept that something good may be happening for the first time in months?”
“And what is he supposed to do with his memories from the other world if he came here?” Mickey demanded. “Ignore them? Ignore the love he felt, the life he lived, the person he was just so you can be happy again? I’d rather not expect anything then to constantly demand the world give me my way.” His anger had overturned his rational side and it wasn’t until he spoke the words did Mickey realize it.
“Hold on,” Rhys said sharply. “Don’t speak to her like that. And I wouldn’t mind having Ianto back. It’s like everything’s gone off balance since he’s been gone. Like we all have something missing.”
“Even if he were to come back, there’s nothing to say that he’ll want anything to do with us, or Jack. They might not even be able to get over it and get back together.”
“It worked for Rose’s parents,” Martha pointed out quietly.
“But that’s not the same.” Mickey looked at her incredulously. He had told her about his time in Pete’s World in confidence and trusted her to keep it secret, but she knew Jack and Ianto better than him, they couldn’t live without each other. The aftermath of 456 was just the beginning. Jack would spiral even more if they didn’t help.
“Why not?” Gwen asked, her voice starting to choke with frustrated tears. Mickey had seen her with Jack, and without him, and knew that she wanted him back because she felt she needed him, that she couldn’t lead without him and perhaps thought she loved him. But she didn’t understand what bringing the other Ianto here meant. Rose did, which is why he was still shocked at her suggestion.
“Our Pete and Jackie got married because she was pregnant, five months after they met. He died when Rose was just a baby, they never had a chance to get to know each other properly! And the other Jackie…” Mickey ran a hand over his face as Gwen stared at him impassively. “Pete never talked about her, but from what Rose told me, she was completely different. And whatever it was that made Pete fall in love with her in the first place was gone long before she died. Whatever happy memories he had with her were completely overshadowed by their marriage problems in the end. They were completely different people. The Pete from his world and the Jackie from ours fell in love because it’s what they had been missing.”
“But they made it work, right?” Gwen asked.
“That’s because they didn’t really have anything to compare it to! But Jack’s got his memories; he will always remember his Ianto and how it felt to have him die in his arms. Even if we did bring the other Ianto over, even if what Rose is saying about him is true, it would never be the same.”
“But how do you know? Rose said he’s remembering things our Ianto went through. How do you know he won’t be the same?”
“Because I had to go through it.” He had never planned on telling the others about in the alternate world, it was too private. He barely told Martha every detail, yet they needed to know if only to completely grasp what they wanted to do. “I was happy to have another chance with my Gran, and for the most part she was the same. But then I’d tell a story of a moment we never shared or she’d remember something Rickey did when he was a kid and it would be like this huge hole, gaping between us, even though she never knew. I would always have it in the back of my head that it wasn’t quite right. Jack has even more of those memories, of those moments. They will always come between them. He might not act the same and there will be the physical differences too.”
“What do you mean?” Andy asked, speaking for the first time since Lois joined the discussion.
“He won’t have the same scars. Everything he had from Canary Warf and the Beacons, all of it will be gone.” Ianto and he had bonded in the few months Mickey had spent at Torchwood Cardiff. They both understood what it meant to have their world completely changed by loving a person who loved the Doctor. It allowed them to trust each other with things they didn’t trust usual strangers: Ianto told him about his life in Torchwood and Mickey had told him about his time with Jake and the Preachers. And Jake. Mickey mentally shook his head and stared hard at the others. “In the end all of you, Jack especially, will always know that he isn’t your Ianto Jones.”
“Listen,” Martha cut in over Gwen’s reply. “It’s not late but we’re all exhausted. We’ve been working for three weeks straight on this. Why don’t we all take tomorrow off to rest and talk about this later? If that’s okay with you Gwen,” she added quickly. The older woman would have put up a fight, especially after Martha’s threat days before, but she just nodded.
“But we still need to send them questions for Ianto,” Mickey pointed out. “I know of something only he and I talked about, but we need more.”
“How about that time we got royally pissed and covered Gwen in post-its?” They all stared at Rhys, who shrugged. “What? It seemed a good idea at the time.”
Martha shook her head in amusement. “Alright, that’s two, how about one more?” They all sat in silence for a while before Martha grew a bit impatient. “Fine, ask him what Jack wanted me to get for Ianto.”
“Well? What was it?” Lois asked when it seemed Martha wasn’t going to continue.
“A UNIT cap.” Martha smirked. “Apparently they…dabbled.”
“Oh yeah,” Gwen said, laughing. Rhys made an indignant noise. “I didn’t mean to walk in on them!” She blushed and the others chuckled. “Mickey, you’ll send those to the Doctor and Rose, right?” Gwen asked a little coolly, getting back to business. It seemed she didn’t quite forget their argument. He nodded. “Lois, please gather everything we have on the Enfros and all the satellite and video you can on our alien visitor from the other night. We’ll look back further if we need to. Make copies and give one to everyone so we can go home.” She climbed up the steps and over Andy as she spoke. “Look them over if you want, but be ready to attack this the day after tomorrow.” She glanced at her watch. “Right, so we should all be out of here by midnight.”
Half an hour later, Lois handed out the packets, neatly gathered in clear folios. Martha took hers and with absent-minded goodbyes to the others, nearly ran out the door. There was someone she needed to see, someone who could help answer the biggest question of all.
***
After answering some personal and rather strange questions from an odd looking piece of plastic Rose had brought in, and a lengthy explanation of alternate realities that left Ianto’s head spinning, the Doctor had suggested they continue their conversation in a more comfortable setting, such as his office. But as they walked down the labyrinth of halls Ianto couldn't quite remember, he wondered if they had needed that room for a real criminal.
Suddenly a sharp pain pierced his head and he hissed at the brutality of it. Ianto staggered a bit and faintly heard Rose asking if he were alright. He tried to answer but the pain increased. Just as he felt the Doctor and Rose take his arms and help him walk to the office memories poured out in front of him: memories of Jack, of his sister (he's never had a sister) and his niece and nephew, of Tosh and Owen (their deaths still hurt so much. But who were they?) and... of his own death. The dream that had started this all had been his death.
Linoleum flooring gave way to carpet beneath his shoes, but Ianto noticed little else about the office. They sat him in a chair and suddenly pain blossomed in his lungs and his abdomen. He doubled over, struggling to keep his breathing constant. Memories bounced around his head and he could barely focus on one before another flashed in front of him. It was dizzying and terrifying and he couldn’t catch his breath. He heard Rose calling out his name and felt cool hands on his temples.
"Ianto, Ianto Jones listen to me," the Doctor's voice was soft and soothing. "I need to get inside your head and balance out the memories. The pain is coming from the two souls battling for dominance. This is only temporary as I need a few more preparations for a more permanent solution but it will make the pain go away. Please."
Ianto nodded. Please, just make it stop, he thought. Suddenly it felt like someone was flipping through his memories as though they were pages in a book; memories, feelings, flashes of emotions raced through him and he couldn’t breathe. Then the pain slowly dissipated and the cool hands slipped away. Ianto sat up slowly, closing his eyes against the strange sensation of blood rushing away from his head. He opened them to see Rose looking him over in concern and the Doctor in worried concentration.
"What's happening to him, Doctor?" Rose asked a few more moments of silence.
"That's the problem with having too many memories," he murmured, eyes scanning Ianto’s face. "Not enough room.” He stood. “That was just a taste of what is to come if we don't get your souls balanced out," he said louder as he walked around the huge oak desk. The entire office reminded Ianto of a college professor's with huge dark bookcases, globes and strange maps that looked familiar. Maybe Jack had them in his own office in the Hub? Before it was destroyed. The pain returned but Ianto swallowed and ignored it. The desk sat covered in piles of paper as well as a few strange-looking contraptions. The Doctor shuffled through the papers as though looking for something.
"What happens now?" Ianto asked just as the Doctor pulled out a piece of paper with a flourish, which knocked down several file folders in the process, their innards spilling across the floor.
"Well, now I'm going to find a suitable place for me to spend a long time in your mind and balance out your souls."
"And you're just assuming I'll let you?"
"What?" The Doctor asked lowly, looking up from his perusal of the paper. "You'd rather live with the pain? Because if we don't get your souls to make nice, eventually your tiny human brain won't be able to withstand the pressure and it'll explode. Poof. No more Ianto Jones. Either of him."
Ianto clenched his fists against the man's (or alien's?) voice. His head was throbbing and he just wanted to curl into bed for days and pray this was all a dream. "Since I obviously don't have a choice in the matter, what happens to me after?" He asked eventually, looking up. Now the Doctor was writing on the paper after setting it on top of a precarious pile of more papers while Rose filled a glass with water from a wet bar of sorts Ianto missed in his original sweep of the room.
The Doctor's gaze turned sad. "I'm so sorry, but…you'll have to decide."
"Decide?"
"You'll have to choose whether you want to live in this world or that one."
Ianto gaped at him for a moment. "You mean I have to choose between the life I've always known, my life, and a life that was forced on me by some alien?" He stood, ready to...he wasn't sure what but something to expel this anger and frustration. It had been a tiring and long 24 hours and Ianto wasn't sure he could take any more. But punching the Doctor seemed like a good solution at the moment, as anger beat out all other emotions.
Suddenly, he remembered. He remembered the anger he felt in the warehouse, as God knows what was happening to the others with that space whale. He remembered the dark power of holding a gun, so many times itching to pull the trigger, and later trying to make sense of his violent thoughts. He remembered the rush of the chase and...Lisa. Oh God, Lisa. She was alive here, not pulled to pieces and covered in blood. She was married to one of his best mates, Gavin, and they were happy and alive, things Ianto could never give her, even now. At least she had a chance for a life, even if it wasn't with him.
He remembered too the peaceful hours spent in the archives, the seemingly endless amount of artifacts to categorize and put safely away. He remembered the few quiet moments with Jack, when they spoke of nothing but themselves and Ianto tricked himself into believing they would be together forever.
With a loud gasp Ianto staggered back into the chair. He ran his hands over his face only to realize he had been crying. He looked over at Rose and the Doctor, who were staring at him with concern and pity. He looked away.
"It's starting, isn't it? These are your memories, Ianto Jones. All of them.” The Doctor asked as he crouched in front of the young man. “This life you've lived here is no less important than the one you lived in the other reality. Never forget that both lives have equal importance. An ordinary man has just as much impact on the world as one of the greatest Torchwood agents in Cardiff.” He stood with a sigh. “This may sound ridiculous to you now, but being able to choose between them is the greatest chance you’ll ever have.”
Ianto didn't answer, but closed his eyes against the soothing voice. He needed space, he needed to think but his head felt so full he could barely function. He opened his eyes and matched the Doctor's gaze. "I don't know what to do." He whispered.
"Doctor," Rose said quietly. She stood not far from them, still clutching the glass. "Give us a minute, will you?" The Doctor turned and looked at Rose sadly for a moment before nodding.
"I've got to get this form for a room down to...somewhere." He looked over the piece of paper he had been writing on earlier. "I usually don't deal with the proper channels, but Pete's been on my case about..." He trailed off when he realized neither Rose nor Ianto were really paying attention to him. "Right." And with that, he left the room.
Rose slowly approached Ianto, who had returned his head between his hands. His mind was racing, hundreds of thoughts and memories battled for purchase and he felt like he was drowning. The soft clink of a glass on wood distracted him and he looked over to see Rose sitting beside him, her brown eyes warm with sympathy.
"I know what you're going through, sort of. " She said softly. Ianto scoffed. "I do! I was stuck here in this world after Canary Warf." The name of his old workplace stung and for a moment Ianto could hear the screams in perfect clarity and smell the ozone and blood. His muscles strained with the efforts of dragging Lisa to safety before they could take her away to kill her like the rest. But wasn’t this the same building? It should have triggered so many memories, but after Pete Tyler took over the entire place had been gutted and redone, Ianto supposed as a way to help his daughter.
He drew in a shaky breath and struggled to focus on the present as Rose continued talking. "I was lucky, I had Mickey and my mum to talk to, but for the most part I was alone. Alone in a strange world with memories of people who didn't know me and things that never happened." She laughed. "One of the first things I did here was look up my best mate, Shareen. Back in the other world we were inseparable. We played together all the time as kids, we got drunk together, everything." She grinned and Ianto found himself returning the smile, it was infectious. "She's a journalist here, an editor actually. One of the top writers in Britain. She's got a big posh house in the country as well as a huge flat in the city. She hated writing when I knew her, but she always wanted to get out of the estate."
Ianto nodded, remembering his own adolescent dreams of escaping from the gangs who stole cars and the constant reminder from his father that he would never amount to anything more than a kid from the estate. Only, he lived in the country with his wealthy father, didn't he? Rose seemed to sense his returning panic and placed a small hand on his shoulder. "I suppose my point is that even with the differences, this place has become home to me. And if you do choose to go over there, you'll feel alone and scared but with the help of Martha and Mickey and Gwen and the others you'll get settled in and soon you'll feel like you've always lived there."
Ianto didn't say anything, just focused on her words for a while, adding it to the mental list he was creating on the pros and cons of leaving this world. This was his life, how could he leave? Even with these memories, and the Doctor would help him sort those out, he couldn't fathom leaving everything behind: his childhood, his business or even his father.
But what about Jack and Gwen? They were the only things left of the original Torchwood Cardiff with the Hub and everything inside it destroyed. He couldn't just abandon them, especially since he knew Jack had probably run away after his death, leaving Gwen to pick up the pieces alone. Jack had told him just after Tosh and Owen's deaths that he was starting to become disenchanted with Torchwood. Ianto answered that it spoke to Jack's character that it only took him 200 years to get tired with it, while inwardly guessing it also had to do with his renewed communication with the Doctor. Later that night, when Ianto was nearly asleep, Jack whispered that if anything were to happen to Ianto, he wasn't sure he could stay in Torchwood or on this planet. He had permeated every inch of both and now Jack couldn't think of living here without Ianto. At the time it had filled Ianto with such love and warmth that he nearly forgot his doubts when watching Jack in his sleep, but now Ianto was sure that Jack meant it to the point of desertion.
Ianto sighed, leaning his head back against the chair and closed his eyes, feeling Rose's eyes on him the entire time. It was kind of unnerving how she could just sit and watch him, yet it was reassuring at the same time.
"You didn't answer Mickey's question," she said after a few more moments of silence. Ianto cracked one eye open and glanced at Rose. "The three questions Mickey sent over, one of them was 'What did Ianto and Mickey talk about two months after Mickey joined Torchwood?' and you said it was private and rather not answer it. And the only answer given was Cyberman." Rose had thought it best not to voice that in front of the Doctor, he was still very tetchy about those particular enemies.
"It is private," Ianto answered, sitting up straight. "But really I didn't answer because I didn't want to upset the Doctor." Mickey had sworn him not to tell, but what harm could it do if they were a reality away?
"What do you mean?"
"I'll tell you if you promise not to say anything to the Doctor unless he brings it up. Or say anything about it in your messages to Mickey." From what he could remember of what Jack and Mickey told him about Rose and the Doctor, Ianto knew it would have been futile to make her promise not to say anything to the Doctor. But he also knew that if Mickey ever found out he said anything, it would ruin their friendship. Rose nodded eagerly. "We talked about you."
"Me?"
Ianto smiled and thought back, ignoring the little pinpricks of pain blossoming across his forehead.
Ianto moved quietly around the tourist centre, replacing old pamphlets, dusting and making sure the front for an international secret organization kept up appearances. Though Ianto's job had expanded over the past months, he insisted that he continued his work up here. It would seem strange, he argued to Jack, if the centre just closed without any explanation.
Just as Ianto sat at the computer, Mickey walked through the entrance from the Hub. He plopped down a grease-soaked napkin holding a piece of pepperoni pizza that Ianto did not remember ordering, before leaning against the counter and shoving his own pizza into his mouth.
"What are you doing up here?" Mickey asked around the large bite of cheese and grease. "Everyone's downstairs having a good time, for the first time since we got here and you're up here...dusting?" He picked up the rag Ianto had been wiping down the counter with between his forefinger and thumb. Ianto grabbed it and threw it back on the counter. He said nothing as he picked the meat off before nibbling at the cooling pizza for a while. Mickey finished his own slice quickly before leaning his arms on the countertop. "Come on then, what is it?"
Though Ianto and Mickey had become close quickly over the past eight weeks, Ianto wasn't sure how much he felt safe telling the other man as he barely acknowledged some of these issues to himself. But, his inner voice argued, if there were anyone who would understand, it was Mickey. Sighing, he put down the barely touched slice and wiped his fingers on a still-clean corner of the napkin. "I don't...I don't want to sound rude or ungrateful, but you and Martha have had a lot of experiences similar to Jack's, spent time with him outside of here and you seem...you seem to have a better understand of what he's gone through and it's just very-" he broke off, blushing. Saying all this out loud sounded rather childish. "I feel that he would rather recount tales of traveling with the Doctor than be with me. And Gwen. Us. Be with us," he added hastily. He sighed deeply. "It just feels like it did before he left the first time."
Mickey studied Ianto for a moment. “I may have traveled with the Doctor,” he said eventually. “But that doesn’t mean I understand what Jack’s been through, no one does, not even the Doctor. But I truly don’t understand wanting to travel with him.” Ianto’s head shot up, but didn’t interrupt. “I wouldn’t mind if that’s the last time I ever fly in that stupid box.”
Ianto frowned. “Now I don’t understand. You’ve traveled with him, I thought you liked him.”
“I respect him and what he does for us and the rest of the universe and the cost he has to pay for it.” He shrugged. “But give me a Cyberman any day; they’re easier to figure out.” Ianto’s confused look flickered with pain and Mickey regretted his slip. He had only heard about Lisa recently. “The only reason I went with the Doctor was because of Rose. By then I knew I had lost her to him, so I wanted to see why. I needed to understand why I wasn’t good enough.” He paused slightly at Ianto’s sharp inhale, confirming Mickey’s suspicion that led him up here in the first place. “I found out she belonged with him so much more than me. They were meant for one another, as sappy as that sounds. But it’s true. I’ve never seen two people complete each other like that.”
Ianto looked down at his forgotten pizza sadly. So that was his fate: to be deserted for the Doctor, if he didn’t die first.
“Now Jack,” Mickey said into Ianto’s silence. “Jack has had a least two opportunities to go with the Doctor and instead came back here. I have no doubt it has everything to do with you-”
“And Gwen,” Ianto interjected. He refused to let himself think he that important to Jack. It would only hurt more when Jack eventually left.
“No, he came back for you.” Mickey said firmly. When Ianto didn’t respond Mickey sighed. There wasn’t more he could do besides be there to listen when Ianto needed it. He straightened up and tapped his fingers on the cracked countertop. “So really, I understand what you’re going through more than I understand Jack.”
Ianto returned to the present, ignoring the sharp pain in his head. Rose was staring at him with tears running down his cheeks and he decided it was probably best not to mention the rest of the conversation, when Ianto managed to get Mickey to open up about Jake. While he knew Rose knew Jake had died, Mickey said he never told her how. He and Jake had been on their last mission for the Preachers before becoming full-fledged Torchwood agents when a few of their group ended up turning on them and shooting Jake right in front of Mickey before leaving them both to die.
“So,” Mickey said, “I know what it’s like to have someone you love murdered by the people you trusted.” Ianto hadn’t tried to explain that the Cyberwoman hadn’t been Lisa since Canary Warf because then he’d think of Annie with blood running down her face, recalling a memory she shouldn’t have known. But after that night, he and Mickey shared a bond they couldn’t forge with anyone else and Ianto liked to think it helped the other man with the pain of losing his lover.
“Ianto?” Rose’s voice broke his thoughts and Ianto tried to smile reassuringly at her.
“Sorry,” he said faintly. “I was just-”
Suddenly the door burst open and a very excited Doctor bounded in. “Sorry to interrupt but two very important things just happened: my paperwork went through for the room, a very rare occurrence indeed, and more importantly: the Noble Machine is functional!”
Rose jumped up at this. “Really? Have they run the tests yet?”
“Just waiting for you, Madam Creator,” he said with a flourish. She ran out of the room, shouting goodbye over her shoulder. The Doctor smiled broadly at her retreating form but sobered a bit when he turned toward Ianto.
“Now Ianto Jones, it’s time for you to remember who you are.”
Part Three
Title: The Other Side
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: R for swearing and adult situations
Summary: Set immediately following the events of Children of Earth, Jack tries to find a way to escape his pain and Ianto Jones is alive. Sort of. JackxIanto, GwenxRhys, DoctorxRose and slight mention of MickeyxJake. Appearances from several Torchwood and Doctor Who characters. Spoilers for all seasons of Doctor Who and Torchwood, as well as the TW radio plays.
Art by misshapenmuse
“Gwen!” Lois prided herself on being a generally quiet person, but when they hadn’t seen their leader in three days and finally had some answers about the alien and its device, yet said leader refused to leave her office, she resorted to banging on the door and shouting with little guilt. “Gwen, the program is done with translating the device and Mickey’s got it figured out…mostly” She ignored the half-whispered ‘oi!’ from behind her. “Martha’s done with the autopsy and I found some more on the Enfros and what it meant by an ‘essence.’ Gwen?” She banged on the door a few more times before walking halfway across the Hub to the others in defeat. ‘She’s been in there for three days!”
“But she’s been home,” Rhys insisted. Lois called him earlier when the team decided it had been long enough since they had last seen their leader. When he hadn’t been able to coax her out, they called Andy in as well. Then the results began to stack up and Lois had been designated to give it a try. Again. Rhys stared at the closed door and leaned against the couch arm as Andy had sprawled across the whole thing after his attempt failed. “She’s been home,” Rhys repeated. “ Granted, she’s home late and gone early, but there’s always dirty dishes in the sink and clothes on the floor.”
“At least she’s eating,” Martha sighed from her seat on Mickey’s desk. “But why doesn’t she come out? It can’t just be because of our fight.”
“Do you lot ever watch the news?” Andy scoffed from his scrutiny of a baby merchandise magazine Gwen had left lying around. At the blank stares he threw it down and sat up. “Bloody Torchwood. See, Her Majesty’s Armed Forces is sending out troops to help the Americans in the Middle East, with representatives from the Army, the Navy…everyone.”
“So?” Mickey asked, his eyes glued to the translations on the screen. Though Tosh’s program had worked Mickey was still trying to make sense of the markings.
“The trip was delayed nearly three weeks ago because they thought they’d be taking on some more people from the Air Force.”
“Andy, your point?” Lois demanded though her eyes were flickering to Gwen’s shut door.
“My point is there was no cruiser in orbit the night Jack left, was there?” Rhys had told the others what had happed that night. He felt it only fair since they were part of Jack’s life too, even Andy. “He just used his fancy wristwatch thing to teleport himself nearby and then took off and joined up with the RAF.”
“So you think they delayed a mission of international importance just because of Jack?” Martha asked. “I know he’s got a lot pull with the military, but even I wouldn’t be able to get them to do something like that.”
“But it is possible. Gwen said he’s been around for a while, so who knows what connections he’s made?”
“How do you know all this?” Mickey asked with a small smirk.
“I don’t…” Andy muttered. “But it’s a good a theory as any!”
“It’s ridiculous!” Martha said, a little too sharply. “I mean, why do that and lie to Gwen?”
“Because he knew she’d go after him,” Rhys answered quietly. “He wanted us to have a normal life. It’s what he’s always tried to give her despite this job.”
“It sort of makes sense, though. We work less with the regularl military and more with UNIT. There wouldn’t be a huge risk of us finding him.” Mickey said after a moment, his eyes a little unfocused on the program running on the screen in front of him. Something flickered and he glanced at the device before writing something down in his notebook.
“But he isn’t here!” Martha insisted. Her voice echoed a bit and as everyone had turned their focus to the conversation, so they missed the creak of a door opening and the sight of a slightly pale and drawn Gwen Cooper peering out. “Rhys, you said Jack left in a solid beam of light, yeah? I’ve used that transporter and seen it used. It’s more like you just disappear rather then get beamed away.”
No one argued and they sat in silence until Rhys finally saw Gwen standing just outside her door. “There you are, lovely! We’ve been worried about you.” He hugged her briefly and laid a hand on the small of her back as he led her toward the group.
“Is it possible?” She whispered tiredly, eyes sweeping over her friends. “Is it actually possible?”
“Is what possible, sweetheart?” Rhys asked gently.
“Is it possible Jack is still on this planet?” They all stared at each other guiltily before the bottom drawer of Mickey’s desk suddenly began to hum.
“What the hell is that?” Martha cried, jumping away from the desk. Andy leapt to the back of the couch and Rhys pulled Lois and Gwen away. All but Rhys and Mickey had hands on their guns. Mickey even seemed surprised as he fumbled for the key around his neck. Martha had assumed it was a TARDIS key until now.
“Seriously mate,” Andy yelled as the humming grew. “What the hell is that?”
“It’s answers,” Mickey answered triumphantly as he took out the transparent sheet he had poked at days before.
“Answers to what?” Martha asked. “You know we aren’t supposed to keep the stuff we find!” She cried when he didn’t answer.
“Yeah, well, I brought this tech with me. I already knew what it was so the rule didn’t really apply.”
“And what exactly does it do?” Andy asked from his perch on the couch. He wasn’t a coward, but when something in the Hub starts humming, he didn’t want to be too close.
“It’s a communication device Rose and I came up with on Pete’s World just in case we were separated between realities when she was trying to get back here,” Mickey explained as he set the now-quiet tech on the desk. “It allows brief messages to cross the void and onto the matching device.”
“So Rose is contacting you?” Martha asked incredulously. “But I thought the Doctor said that was impossible?”
“Travel between the worlds is supposedly impossible,” Mickey clarified, grinning. “But this was part of the research Rose and I lead when she tried to get back here to help Donna and the Doctor.” Though so far this all went over everyone’s head (except Martha’s), they listened intently. Strange alien tech deserved all their attention, especially when Mickey started tapping at it. “We agreed to use it only in extreme emergencies, as a warning system of sorts. Because the Year That Never was never happened there, Pete’s World is a year ahead.” Blank stares greeted him. “Their 2011 is our 2010. That’s how Rose knew something was happening here when Davros stole the Earth since things were going wrong there.”
“Hang on,” Andy interjected, now standing in front of the couch since the humming stopped “The year that what?”
Mickey winced and glanced at Martha, who was glaring at the tech genius. While the Doctor had to explain to Mickey what had happened with Saxon after returning the Earth, Jack had only told Ianto and Mickey knew he should keep the others in the dark.
“Doesn’t matter. The important thing is we can anticipate most crises here. It’s like an earthquake detector but with alien threats.”
“Then what about the 456?” Gwen asked, stepping around Rhys, her voice throaty as though she had been crying. “Where was your precious Rose and her warning system so we could have prevented Ianto-” She cut off in a harsh sob.
“It’s not perfect,” Mickey said sadly, standing to comfort his friend but she took a step back and he sat back down heavily on the computer chair. “Some major events happen here, but not there and vice versa. There is no Jack Harkness in that world, so everything he impacted here probably didn’t happen there. That’s nearly two centuries of changes.” He looked over at Gwen, who started dully back. “Torchwood London blasted the 456 when they did try and invade. It’s just hard to predict what is different there. Sometimes they’re complete opposites like me and Rickey, or Pete and Jackie. And other times, well…Rose was Jackie’s dog in that world.”
Rhys snorted, but Andy seemed intrigued. “So I could be some big posh business man or something?”
Mickey grinned. “Maybe. Really, it depends on the actions you make here. See, every separate reality is actually made of the ‘what ifs’ of this world.”
“So if you dropped out of college or ended up marrying someone here,” Lois said slowly, “you could graduate with honors and turn them down there?”
“Or if you turned left instead of right.”
“But some things are the same, right?” Gwen sniffed. “You said the 456 invaded there as well.”
“More often things are similar when dealing with aliens,” Mickey said, nodding. “We had a Racnos as well, but the Doctor and Rose destroyed her and Torchwood blasted her ship. But then again, Pete made health drinks just like he wanted to here.”
“Are there Weevils as well?” Rhys asked.
“We’re getting off point,” Martha said sternly. She wasn’t sure where alternate realities fell in the Doctor’s rules of divulging Timey-Wimey-sensitive information, but she didn’t want to risk it. “What does Rose say?”
Mickey returned his gaze to the communicator on the table. He pressed a few more seemingly invisible buttons. “It might take a moment for me to figure out the message. The devices only allow short bursts of information, unless they’ve been charging for a while, and her shorthand is sometimes hard to understand.” He chuckled. “I think the Doctor-” Mickey stopped and stared at the message that appeared. “No way.”
“What is it?” Lois asked as Martha leaned over Mickey’s shoulder.
Martha gasped. “Oh my God.”
***
Ianto Jones sat at the back counter of his shop, one eye on the door and the other on the coat he had been mending all morning. His business, A Stitch in Time, opened a year ago when he decided he didn’t want to live off his family’s money any longer but rather own his own tailor shop.
His father owned a very successful winery and was disappointed when his only son announced he wanted nothing to do with the family business. Being both a practical and family man, Dayffd Jones split his son’s inheritance in half, giving one portion for whatever endeavor his son decided and saving the other for whoever he decided to give the company to run. This suited both Jones men just fine and Ianto eventually opened a shop in Cardiff, miles from his country childhood home.
Ianto finished the last stitch and smoothed the soft material over the counter. A young couple, Lisa and Gavin, he thought it was, found the greatcoat in their attic. They had no use for it, but wanted it mended so they could donate it to the historical society.
It looked from the World War II era, perhaps worn by an RAF pilot. The fabric felt familiar beneath his fingers and Ianto tried to think why. Oh yes, how could he have forgotten? It looked exactly like Jack’s and he did love that coat.
A sharp pain dug into Ianto’s head and he inhaled sharply. It grew more intense and he bent over, resting his head on the counter. He remembered waiting by the Bay for what felt like hours, a thermos in one hand and coffee mug in the other. He remembered the nerves and desperation, he needed this to work to save Lisa. He remembered the cold concrete floor of the warehouse and the heat of Jack’s touch. He remembered the guilt, confusion and lust swirling in him and settling into a sour block in the pit of his stomach as he walked away.
Then just as quickly as it came, the pain disappeared. He sighed, straightening up. This had been happening ever since he had that strange dream three nights ago. Since then, he was remembering events that never took place and people he had never met, always accompanied by an intense headache. Most of the memories contained one Captain Jack Hakness, only he never knew a man by that name.
He did, though. His entire body and soul positively ached to be near him again. His fingers itched to run through soft hair, lips tingled with wanting to taste-Ianto stood abruptly. This was madness. How could he long for a man he never met?
Flashing bulbs and shouting reporters drew Ianto’s attention to the television mounted on the wall. He watched as the cameraman struggled to get a shot of a field, empty save for a group of people behind some police tape. Possible alien artefact found, the ticker at the bottom of the screen read. Torchwood investigates, it continued as the camera zoomed in on the small group of people crouching and looking at something just out of the camera’s range. A young man with longish ginger hair stood, PDA in hand. A blonde woman, looking not much older than he, joined him and they stared intently at whatever was on the PDA’s screen.
Ianto knew her: Rose Tyler. She was the daughter of health drink mogul and Torchwood leader Pete Tyler and his wife, Jackie. Rose had been sent to boarding schools when she was young and only returned home a few months after the Cyberman had been destroyed. Now she was one of Torchwood’s top agents and led their best team, along with the doctor, John Smith. The doctor came into full view on the telly as though summoned by Ianto’s thoughts, peering at something through rectangular-framed glasses, some sort of metal tube in his hand. He looked up and smiled softly as Rose approached with a kit in hand.
Smith and Rose had started being seen together about a year ago and there were whispers about his immediate placement of second in command to the young woman. Their wedding was set for next month, according to reports and a bit of gossip. Ianto made it his point to know everything about, well, everything, and he wasn’t above getting it from the local elderly women who liked to come in and coo over him.
But there was something else, a memory he seemed to have forgotten now tugging at the back of his brain. He had met the Doctor before…yes, he had seen him over the subwave network Harriet Jones set up when Daleks invaded. Rose he recognized from footage of the Battle at Canary Warf he had stumbled upon when cleaning Jack’s office while the others worked on fixing the Hub and they all waited for Gwen to give up her vigil over Jack’s body. Rose had unintentionally made Jack immortal, thousands of years into the future, just before abandoning him in space station full of corpses. Jack had told him everything about them, about everything that led him to that night after John Hart had been dealt with, after Jack had returned from his time with…the Doctor.
Rose Tyler and the Doctor. The alien Doctor who Jack had loved once, when he had a different face.
Ianto’s brain caught up with itself and forced his thoughts to a halt. This was insane, he was going insane. How else would he have memories that weren’t his own yet felt like they belonged to him?
“…surely have an answer soon, with Britain’s top alien experts on the case. Harold Saxon, media liaison for Torchwood, will make an announcement…”
Alien. Had something alien done this to him? He could barely think the possibility, it sounded like something out of a comic, yet with the Cyberman and that star thing at Christmas and the public’s knowledge of Torchwood, aliens weren’t so far-fetched an idea anymore.
Whatever the reason, he had these memories of Rose Tyler and Doctor John Smith. They had to be able to help. Resolute, Ianto hung up the coat, grabbed his keys and closed up shop. Figuring in the time to grab the diary he had started after he had his first nightmare, as well as a change of clothes and essentials, Ianto would probably still beat the team to London. He would sit and wait for them as long as possible, he needed answers.
Ianto stalked across the Plass dotted with the shadows of the zeppelins, his mind already mapping out the quickest route to London, when he found himself in front of a dilapidated building. Looking around, he realized he had somehow ended up in front of the old tourist office on the Bay, where he had offered Jack a cup of coffee. And why not? He did work here after all. He reached in his pocket for the key to unlock the triple deadlock before he jerked, like waking violently from a dream, realizing what he was doing and thinking. Ianto stared at the door in horror. What the hell was going on?
He backed away from the door slowly and resisted the urge to run all the way to his flat. He needed answers and fast, before his mind was no longer his own.
~*~
After arguing for an hour with the receptionist who would have given Owen a run for his Prat of the Year award (who was Owen?) Ianto found himself thrust into a small room with a table and reflective glass. An interrogation room, then. He’d been in one like this once, when he was caught with a group of friends shoplifting during his short-lived rebellious stage and the local police tried to turn them on each other.
Time passed either slowly or quickly, he couldn’t tell, but after some point raised voice reached his ears and grew louder before Doctor John Smith suddenly burst into the room.
“Hello there!” He said brightly, even as Rose continued to argue with her father just on the other side of the door. Apparently Pete Tyler felt a quiet tailor with a sudden influx of strange memories, demanding to see his top two agents was a threat to public safety. Ianto wasn’t sure if he agreed with him or felt insulted.
The Doctor shut the door smartly on the arguing pair and studied Ianto quite seriously, though his grin remained. Ianto scrutinized him as well. He wore a very well-made suit of deep green, almost black, with lighter grey-green pinstripes. It looked custom, at least the fabric looked unfamiliar. The deep burgundy tie looked store bought, but expensive, and matched his chucks. That, coupled, with the outrageous hair gave the doctor the look of an eccentric.
“Jones, Ianto Jones,” he said eventually, but strangely, like his tongue was testing out the words. He leaned back against the glass and studied Ianto again.
Nice to meet you Jones, Ianto Jones. The pain in his head was sharp and fleeting, like a pinprick, and Ianto did his best to not even blink. John Smith continued to stare, as though he could peer into his very soul.
“Jack spoke of you often,” he said finally. He tilted his head, as though listening for something.
“I don’t know any Jack Harkness,” Ianto said softly, respectfully, but firmly.
Smith just smiled, as though Ianto had answered his question. “Did I say Harkness?” He tugged on his ear in mock thought. “No matter, you do know him. I’d go so far as to say you love him. At least, part of you does.”
Ianto was really losing his patience. He came here for help, not mind games. “Sir, I have really had enough riddles for one day.”
“Allons-y then! What is your birth date?” He pushed off the wall, crossed his arms across his chest and took a step forward.
Ianto was slightly thrown off but answered anyway. “August 19, 1983.”
“That’s funny, the record we have on file says March 28, 1983.”
Ianto stilled, terrified. “What’s wrong with me?” He whispered.
“Not a thing.”
“But-”
“So!” He almost shouted, launching himself into a chair. “What does a tailor/Torchwood archivist want with me and Rose?” He peered at Ianto over his glasses.
“I’m not a member of Torchwood,” Ianto answered automatically.
“Oh no? Tell me then, what is the standard procedure when encountering a non-hostile extraterrestrial within Torchwood perimeters?”
“Demand race, planet and reason for infiltration. If they refuse, detain for further questioning.” The words tumbled out before Ianto knew what he was saying. He met the Doctor’s eyes, scared. John Smith raised an eyebrow.
“One more. Why did CCTV cameras pick you up in front of the visitor’s entrance to Torchwood Cardiff?”
Ianto swallowed hard. He had forgotten about the cameras. “There’s no such thing.”
Smith leaned in. “Not in this world.”
Ianto mimicked the action. “Please sir, I need answers. Something isn’t right and the only thing I know is I remember you as though I’ve met you before. Something is wrong with me and you’re the only one who can help!”
“Nothing is wrong with you, Ianto Jones.” He said gently as Rose entered with an evidence bag in hand. She smiled warmly to Ianto as she handed the bag to her fiancée. He dumped the contents, some sort of strange, peanut-shaped device with a dial on one end and a screen on the other, onto the table. It also had connections on one side, like something plugged into it. Ianto stared at it while the Doctor and Rose stared at him.
“Know what it is?” The Doctor asked quietly. Ianto shook his head, eyes glued to the nondescript object. It was the closest thing to alien life he’d ever been. He thought. He wasn’t sure anymore. “It’s used by the Enfros, though it came from technology used by the Brigone. They invaded…”
Ianto, are we at war and you didn’t tell me?
Yes sir, and by the way I asked these aliens to pop in and help.
“Ianto?”
Ianto shook his head clear and looked over at the Doctor. “Sorry, sir. So it’s alien technology. What does it do?”
The Doctor smiled broadly. “Very well done, Jones Ianto Jones! Most people would demand what it has to do with them, I’m very impressed. The Enfros are a trade race, but not in antiques or food or those cute little statues of the-right,” he picked up the device after Rose elbowed him. Ianto hid a smirk. “No, they use this to trade souls. Well, there’s another half, but…”
“Souls?” Ianto whispered. He glanced at Rose who was looking at the device with the same wonder he was sure was on his face.
“Well, they call them essences, sort of. Their language is very hard to translate into English. The closest name you’ll get to the actual one in this language is a soul collector. The Enfros travel the galaxy with this looking for souls just hanging about, ripe for the stealing.”
“So they’re like ghosts, then, rather than souls.”
“Yes! Well, sort of. You see, the stronger the emotion connected to a death, the longer the soul lingers. This,” Placed the collector back on the table and pointed to the screen, “works as a radar. It measures the intensity of death-related emotion. They use this like a radio dial to hone in on the signal.” He fiddled with the red dial inscribed in strange markings.
“If you tweak the settings just right, you can find the strongest emotion in connection with that death within five miles. That’s how they get the most money: con the grieving out of as much money as possible. What’s material belongings or inconsequential gold when a loved one’s soul could be with you forever?” His eyes and tone had darkened, sending shivers down Ianto’s spine. He wasn’t sure what to say or to think. Alien devices that collect souls definitely sounded fictional, yet there it sat. “How did it get here?” He asked after a moment.
“It came through the Rift, only we don’t know where or when it came from,” Rose answered sadly. “See, there’s a rift running through time and space, and it runs straight through Car-London.” Her eyes flickered toward the Doctor at her slip-up but he was still looking at Ianto. “Most of the alien stuff we collect comes through there.”
“Okay...” Ianto said slowly, still struggling to take it all in. This had grown so much bigger from strange dreams and memories and it shook him. How else was he supposed to react? “Then, what does this-”
“-have to do with you?” The Doctor leaned back and rested his feet on the table. “You see, we’re still not quite sure. But-” he said loudly over the start of Ianto’s protests, “we have an idea. We know it has to do with the dreams you told the other agents about before you were taken here. It also has to do with the memories and the headaches. We’ve contacted some people who will help us verify, but in the meantime, tell us about your dreams again.”
Ianto Jones pulled out his diary.
***
Ianto remembers his life there. Need questions to verify. Should we ask if he wants to cross over?
Lois sat in the tourist office, anxious and impatient. The others were down in the Hub, they had started discussing what to do about Rose’s message and it soon turned into recalling memories of Ianto, so she escaped here after a while. She felt awed by merely his name, as the others had built him up to such a great stature and was still intimidated taking over his responsibilities, including this place. Yet it made her feel closer to him as well, like she had been initiated into some secret club. The Gatekeepers of Torchwood.
She imagined they were both average people, content with normal lives, not very talented at anything specific but very organized and able to adapt to whatever their superiors needed before suddenly being thrust into the world of Torchwood. Only he had risen above his beginnings, and Lois still felt very much like a child at the adult’s table. So much went over her head and while everyone was very willing to help, it frustrated her that she couldn’t immediately be up to their speed.
She had read Ianto’s file, and on nights when Gwen was exhausted and hormonal, heard stories about the archivist. He had been through more than any human being so young should have to go through and now they were willing to put him through even more.
~*~
Lois slowly entered the Hub to the sound of Mickey and Gwen shouting at each other. Seems their discussion returned back to deciding what to do about Ianto. It kept them from facing the realization that whatever happened now had very little to do with them. Gwen clung to one option and one option only: bring Ianto back.
“We can’t just drag him over here, the machine that Rose used with Donna was destroyed. Besides, he probably has a life of his own and a job that has nothing to do with Torchwood.” Mickey argued, the strain in his voice indicating Gwen refused to listen to his repeated argument.
“But it’s Ianto,” Gwen insisted.
“Yes, Ianto, who might have a wife and kids; Ianto, with a huge family that will miss him if he just disappears!” Mickey was getting more frustrated by the minute and it seemed he and Gwen were the only ones in the discussion. Lois sidled up to Martha, who was leaning against the autopsy railing, looking down at the two fighting over the table. Rhys stood on the opposite side of the circle and Andy sat on the steps.
“Ianto, with a wife and kids? That doesn’t sound like him at all,” Gwen insisted, crossing her arms.
“Exactly! Because he’s not your Ianto. He’s the other world’s Ianto.”
“Who’s remembering his life here, remembering us.”
“But just because he’s remembering it doesn’t mean he’s living it.”
“How do you mean?” Lois asked. Mickey looked up as though he just realized the others were standing there.
“I think that he may be having these memories but they aren’t like real memories to him. I don’t have any proof, but from what I can tell from the translation program and what’s happened, whatever the device collects must have jogged his memories from this world since it was here originally and since alternate worlds are branches from this one, it’s possible our other selves have our memories locked deep inside. But it’s like when you watch a home movie of your first trip to the beach: You know it happened since there’s proof, but you can’t remember how the sun felt or the ice cream tasted.”
“So like the device was just holding the movie film,” Rhys said slowly. “And when it went over to the other world, it began to play in Ianto’s head?”
“But that doesn’t even make sense!” Gwen cried. “We don’t even know the Enfros’ device has anything to do with this.”
“Yeah, but I’d rather think it does until we know otherwise,” Martha said. “I’ve even tried getting a hold of the Doctor, but he isn’t answering.” She frowned. “He knows when it’s me calling, he always answers.”
“I’m still not convinced bringing Ianto here isn’t the best thing for him.” Gwen returned to the original subject stubbornly. “He’s remembering us and you don’t even know that he isn’t our Ianto, that if the device did put the memories back into his body he isn’t glad to have them. Why can’t you just accept that something good may be happening for the first time in months?”
“And what is he supposed to do with his memories from the other world if he came here?” Mickey demanded. “Ignore them? Ignore the love he felt, the life he lived, the person he was just so you can be happy again? I’d rather not expect anything then to constantly demand the world give me my way.” His anger had overturned his rational side and it wasn’t until he spoke the words did Mickey realize it.
“Hold on,” Rhys said sharply. “Don’t speak to her like that. And I wouldn’t mind having Ianto back. It’s like everything’s gone off balance since he’s been gone. Like we all have something missing.”
“Even if he were to come back, there’s nothing to say that he’ll want anything to do with us, or Jack. They might not even be able to get over it and get back together.”
“It worked for Rose’s parents,” Martha pointed out quietly.
“But that’s not the same.” Mickey looked at her incredulously. He had told her about his time in Pete’s World in confidence and trusted her to keep it secret, but she knew Jack and Ianto better than him, they couldn’t live without each other. The aftermath of 456 was just the beginning. Jack would spiral even more if they didn’t help.
“Why not?” Gwen asked, her voice starting to choke with frustrated tears. Mickey had seen her with Jack, and without him, and knew that she wanted him back because she felt she needed him, that she couldn’t lead without him and perhaps thought she loved him. But she didn’t understand what bringing the other Ianto here meant. Rose did, which is why he was still shocked at her suggestion.
“Our Pete and Jackie got married because she was pregnant, five months after they met. He died when Rose was just a baby, they never had a chance to get to know each other properly! And the other Jackie…” Mickey ran a hand over his face as Gwen stared at him impassively. “Pete never talked about her, but from what Rose told me, she was completely different. And whatever it was that made Pete fall in love with her in the first place was gone long before she died. Whatever happy memories he had with her were completely overshadowed by their marriage problems in the end. They were completely different people. The Pete from his world and the Jackie from ours fell in love because it’s what they had been missing.”
“But they made it work, right?” Gwen asked.
“That’s because they didn’t really have anything to compare it to! But Jack’s got his memories; he will always remember his Ianto and how it felt to have him die in his arms. Even if we did bring the other Ianto over, even if what Rose is saying about him is true, it would never be the same.”
“But how do you know? Rose said he’s remembering things our Ianto went through. How do you know he won’t be the same?”
“Because I had to go through it.” He had never planned on telling the others about in the alternate world, it was too private. He barely told Martha every detail, yet they needed to know if only to completely grasp what they wanted to do. “I was happy to have another chance with my Gran, and for the most part she was the same. But then I’d tell a story of a moment we never shared or she’d remember something Rickey did when he was a kid and it would be like this huge hole, gaping between us, even though she never knew. I would always have it in the back of my head that it wasn’t quite right. Jack has even more of those memories, of those moments. They will always come between them. He might not act the same and there will be the physical differences too.”
“What do you mean?” Andy asked, speaking for the first time since Lois joined the discussion.
“He won’t have the same scars. Everything he had from Canary Warf and the Beacons, all of it will be gone.” Ianto and he had bonded in the few months Mickey had spent at Torchwood Cardiff. They both understood what it meant to have their world completely changed by loving a person who loved the Doctor. It allowed them to trust each other with things they didn’t trust usual strangers: Ianto told him about his life in Torchwood and Mickey had told him about his time with Jake and the Preachers. And Jake. Mickey mentally shook his head and stared hard at the others. “In the end all of you, Jack especially, will always know that he isn’t your Ianto Jones.”
“Listen,” Martha cut in over Gwen’s reply. “It’s not late but we’re all exhausted. We’ve been working for three weeks straight on this. Why don’t we all take tomorrow off to rest and talk about this later? If that’s okay with you Gwen,” she added quickly. The older woman would have put up a fight, especially after Martha’s threat days before, but she just nodded.
“But we still need to send them questions for Ianto,” Mickey pointed out. “I know of something only he and I talked about, but we need more.”
“How about that time we got royally pissed and covered Gwen in post-its?” They all stared at Rhys, who shrugged. “What? It seemed a good idea at the time.”
Martha shook her head in amusement. “Alright, that’s two, how about one more?” They all sat in silence for a while before Martha grew a bit impatient. “Fine, ask him what Jack wanted me to get for Ianto.”
“Well? What was it?” Lois asked when it seemed Martha wasn’t going to continue.
“A UNIT cap.” Martha smirked. “Apparently they…dabbled.”
“Oh yeah,” Gwen said, laughing. Rhys made an indignant noise. “I didn’t mean to walk in on them!” She blushed and the others chuckled. “Mickey, you’ll send those to the Doctor and Rose, right?” Gwen asked a little coolly, getting back to business. It seemed she didn’t quite forget their argument. He nodded. “Lois, please gather everything we have on the Enfros and all the satellite and video you can on our alien visitor from the other night. We’ll look back further if we need to. Make copies and give one to everyone so we can go home.” She climbed up the steps and over Andy as she spoke. “Look them over if you want, but be ready to attack this the day after tomorrow.” She glanced at her watch. “Right, so we should all be out of here by midnight.”
Half an hour later, Lois handed out the packets, neatly gathered in clear folios. Martha took hers and with absent-minded goodbyes to the others, nearly ran out the door. There was someone she needed to see, someone who could help answer the biggest question of all.
***
After answering some personal and rather strange questions from an odd looking piece of plastic Rose had brought in, and a lengthy explanation of alternate realities that left Ianto’s head spinning, the Doctor had suggested they continue their conversation in a more comfortable setting, such as his office. But as they walked down the labyrinth of halls Ianto couldn't quite remember, he wondered if they had needed that room for a real criminal.
Suddenly a sharp pain pierced his head and he hissed at the brutality of it. Ianto staggered a bit and faintly heard Rose asking if he were alright. He tried to answer but the pain increased. Just as he felt the Doctor and Rose take his arms and help him walk to the office memories poured out in front of him: memories of Jack, of his sister (he's never had a sister) and his niece and nephew, of Tosh and Owen (their deaths still hurt so much. But who were they?) and... of his own death. The dream that had started this all had been his death.
Linoleum flooring gave way to carpet beneath his shoes, but Ianto noticed little else about the office. They sat him in a chair and suddenly pain blossomed in his lungs and his abdomen. He doubled over, struggling to keep his breathing constant. Memories bounced around his head and he could barely focus on one before another flashed in front of him. It was dizzying and terrifying and he couldn’t catch his breath. He heard Rose calling out his name and felt cool hands on his temples.
"Ianto, Ianto Jones listen to me," the Doctor's voice was soft and soothing. "I need to get inside your head and balance out the memories. The pain is coming from the two souls battling for dominance. This is only temporary as I need a few more preparations for a more permanent solution but it will make the pain go away. Please."
Ianto nodded. Please, just make it stop, he thought. Suddenly it felt like someone was flipping through his memories as though they were pages in a book; memories, feelings, flashes of emotions raced through him and he couldn’t breathe. Then the pain slowly dissipated and the cool hands slipped away. Ianto sat up slowly, closing his eyes against the strange sensation of blood rushing away from his head. He opened them to see Rose looking him over in concern and the Doctor in worried concentration.
"What's happening to him, Doctor?" Rose asked a few more moments of silence.
"That's the problem with having too many memories," he murmured, eyes scanning Ianto’s face. "Not enough room.” He stood. “That was just a taste of what is to come if we don't get your souls balanced out," he said louder as he walked around the huge oak desk. The entire office reminded Ianto of a college professor's with huge dark bookcases, globes and strange maps that looked familiar. Maybe Jack had them in his own office in the Hub? Before it was destroyed. The pain returned but Ianto swallowed and ignored it. The desk sat covered in piles of paper as well as a few strange-looking contraptions. The Doctor shuffled through the papers as though looking for something.
"What happens now?" Ianto asked just as the Doctor pulled out a piece of paper with a flourish, which knocked down several file folders in the process, their innards spilling across the floor.
"Well, now I'm going to find a suitable place for me to spend a long time in your mind and balance out your souls."
"And you're just assuming I'll let you?"
"What?" The Doctor asked lowly, looking up from his perusal of the paper. "You'd rather live with the pain? Because if we don't get your souls to make nice, eventually your tiny human brain won't be able to withstand the pressure and it'll explode. Poof. No more Ianto Jones. Either of him."
Ianto clenched his fists against the man's (or alien's?) voice. His head was throbbing and he just wanted to curl into bed for days and pray this was all a dream. "Since I obviously don't have a choice in the matter, what happens to me after?" He asked eventually, looking up. Now the Doctor was writing on the paper after setting it on top of a precarious pile of more papers while Rose filled a glass with water from a wet bar of sorts Ianto missed in his original sweep of the room.
The Doctor's gaze turned sad. "I'm so sorry, but…you'll have to decide."
"Decide?"
"You'll have to choose whether you want to live in this world or that one."
Ianto gaped at him for a moment. "You mean I have to choose between the life I've always known, my life, and a life that was forced on me by some alien?" He stood, ready to...he wasn't sure what but something to expel this anger and frustration. It had been a tiring and long 24 hours and Ianto wasn't sure he could take any more. But punching the Doctor seemed like a good solution at the moment, as anger beat out all other emotions.
Suddenly, he remembered. He remembered the anger he felt in the warehouse, as God knows what was happening to the others with that space whale. He remembered the dark power of holding a gun, so many times itching to pull the trigger, and later trying to make sense of his violent thoughts. He remembered the rush of the chase and...Lisa. Oh God, Lisa. She was alive here, not pulled to pieces and covered in blood. She was married to one of his best mates, Gavin, and they were happy and alive, things Ianto could never give her, even now. At least she had a chance for a life, even if it wasn't with him.
He remembered too the peaceful hours spent in the archives, the seemingly endless amount of artifacts to categorize and put safely away. He remembered the few quiet moments with Jack, when they spoke of nothing but themselves and Ianto tricked himself into believing they would be together forever.
With a loud gasp Ianto staggered back into the chair. He ran his hands over his face only to realize he had been crying. He looked over at Rose and the Doctor, who were staring at him with concern and pity. He looked away.
"It's starting, isn't it? These are your memories, Ianto Jones. All of them.” The Doctor asked as he crouched in front of the young man. “This life you've lived here is no less important than the one you lived in the other reality. Never forget that both lives have equal importance. An ordinary man has just as much impact on the world as one of the greatest Torchwood agents in Cardiff.” He stood with a sigh. “This may sound ridiculous to you now, but being able to choose between them is the greatest chance you’ll ever have.”
Ianto didn't answer, but closed his eyes against the soothing voice. He needed space, he needed to think but his head felt so full he could barely function. He opened his eyes and matched the Doctor's gaze. "I don't know what to do." He whispered.
"Doctor," Rose said quietly. She stood not far from them, still clutching the glass. "Give us a minute, will you?" The Doctor turned and looked at Rose sadly for a moment before nodding.
"I've got to get this form for a room down to...somewhere." He looked over the piece of paper he had been writing on earlier. "I usually don't deal with the proper channels, but Pete's been on my case about..." He trailed off when he realized neither Rose nor Ianto were really paying attention to him. "Right." And with that, he left the room.
Rose slowly approached Ianto, who had returned his head between his hands. His mind was racing, hundreds of thoughts and memories battled for purchase and he felt like he was drowning. The soft clink of a glass on wood distracted him and he looked over to see Rose sitting beside him, her brown eyes warm with sympathy.
"I know what you're going through, sort of. " She said softly. Ianto scoffed. "I do! I was stuck here in this world after Canary Warf." The name of his old workplace stung and for a moment Ianto could hear the screams in perfect clarity and smell the ozone and blood. His muscles strained with the efforts of dragging Lisa to safety before they could take her away to kill her like the rest. But wasn’t this the same building? It should have triggered so many memories, but after Pete Tyler took over the entire place had been gutted and redone, Ianto supposed as a way to help his daughter.
He drew in a shaky breath and struggled to focus on the present as Rose continued talking. "I was lucky, I had Mickey and my mum to talk to, but for the most part I was alone. Alone in a strange world with memories of people who didn't know me and things that never happened." She laughed. "One of the first things I did here was look up my best mate, Shareen. Back in the other world we were inseparable. We played together all the time as kids, we got drunk together, everything." She grinned and Ianto found himself returning the smile, it was infectious. "She's a journalist here, an editor actually. One of the top writers in Britain. She's got a big posh house in the country as well as a huge flat in the city. She hated writing when I knew her, but she always wanted to get out of the estate."
Ianto nodded, remembering his own adolescent dreams of escaping from the gangs who stole cars and the constant reminder from his father that he would never amount to anything more than a kid from the estate. Only, he lived in the country with his wealthy father, didn't he? Rose seemed to sense his returning panic and placed a small hand on his shoulder. "I suppose my point is that even with the differences, this place has become home to me. And if you do choose to go over there, you'll feel alone and scared but with the help of Martha and Mickey and Gwen and the others you'll get settled in and soon you'll feel like you've always lived there."
Ianto didn't say anything, just focused on her words for a while, adding it to the mental list he was creating on the pros and cons of leaving this world. This was his life, how could he leave? Even with these memories, and the Doctor would help him sort those out, he couldn't fathom leaving everything behind: his childhood, his business or even his father.
But what about Jack and Gwen? They were the only things left of the original Torchwood Cardiff with the Hub and everything inside it destroyed. He couldn't just abandon them, especially since he knew Jack had probably run away after his death, leaving Gwen to pick up the pieces alone. Jack had told him just after Tosh and Owen's deaths that he was starting to become disenchanted with Torchwood. Ianto answered that it spoke to Jack's character that it only took him 200 years to get tired with it, while inwardly guessing it also had to do with his renewed communication with the Doctor. Later that night, when Ianto was nearly asleep, Jack whispered that if anything were to happen to Ianto, he wasn't sure he could stay in Torchwood or on this planet. He had permeated every inch of both and now Jack couldn't think of living here without Ianto. At the time it had filled Ianto with such love and warmth that he nearly forgot his doubts when watching Jack in his sleep, but now Ianto was sure that Jack meant it to the point of desertion.
Ianto sighed, leaning his head back against the chair and closed his eyes, feeling Rose's eyes on him the entire time. It was kind of unnerving how she could just sit and watch him, yet it was reassuring at the same time.
"You didn't answer Mickey's question," she said after a few more moments of silence. Ianto cracked one eye open and glanced at Rose. "The three questions Mickey sent over, one of them was 'What did Ianto and Mickey talk about two months after Mickey joined Torchwood?' and you said it was private and rather not answer it. And the only answer given was Cyberman." Rose had thought it best not to voice that in front of the Doctor, he was still very tetchy about those particular enemies.
"It is private," Ianto answered, sitting up straight. "But really I didn't answer because I didn't want to upset the Doctor." Mickey had sworn him not to tell, but what harm could it do if they were a reality away?
"What do you mean?"
"I'll tell you if you promise not to say anything to the Doctor unless he brings it up. Or say anything about it in your messages to Mickey." From what he could remember of what Jack and Mickey told him about Rose and the Doctor, Ianto knew it would have been futile to make her promise not to say anything to the Doctor. But he also knew that if Mickey ever found out he said anything, it would ruin their friendship. Rose nodded eagerly. "We talked about you."
"Me?"
Ianto smiled and thought back, ignoring the little pinpricks of pain blossoming across his forehead.
Ianto moved quietly around the tourist centre, replacing old pamphlets, dusting and making sure the front for an international secret organization kept up appearances. Though Ianto's job had expanded over the past months, he insisted that he continued his work up here. It would seem strange, he argued to Jack, if the centre just closed without any explanation.
Just as Ianto sat at the computer, Mickey walked through the entrance from the Hub. He plopped down a grease-soaked napkin holding a piece of pepperoni pizza that Ianto did not remember ordering, before leaning against the counter and shoving his own pizza into his mouth.
"What are you doing up here?" Mickey asked around the large bite of cheese and grease. "Everyone's downstairs having a good time, for the first time since we got here and you're up here...dusting?" He picked up the rag Ianto had been wiping down the counter with between his forefinger and thumb. Ianto grabbed it and threw it back on the counter. He said nothing as he picked the meat off before nibbling at the cooling pizza for a while. Mickey finished his own slice quickly before leaning his arms on the countertop. "Come on then, what is it?"
Though Ianto and Mickey had become close quickly over the past eight weeks, Ianto wasn't sure how much he felt safe telling the other man as he barely acknowledged some of these issues to himself. But, his inner voice argued, if there were anyone who would understand, it was Mickey. Sighing, he put down the barely touched slice and wiped his fingers on a still-clean corner of the napkin. "I don't...I don't want to sound rude or ungrateful, but you and Martha have had a lot of experiences similar to Jack's, spent time with him outside of here and you seem...you seem to have a better understand of what he's gone through and it's just very-" he broke off, blushing. Saying all this out loud sounded rather childish. "I feel that he would rather recount tales of traveling with the Doctor than be with me. And Gwen. Us. Be with us," he added hastily. He sighed deeply. "It just feels like it did before he left the first time."
Mickey studied Ianto for a moment. “I may have traveled with the Doctor,” he said eventually. “But that doesn’t mean I understand what Jack’s been through, no one does, not even the Doctor. But I truly don’t understand wanting to travel with him.” Ianto’s head shot up, but didn’t interrupt. “I wouldn’t mind if that’s the last time I ever fly in that stupid box.”
Ianto frowned. “Now I don’t understand. You’ve traveled with him, I thought you liked him.”
“I respect him and what he does for us and the rest of the universe and the cost he has to pay for it.” He shrugged. “But give me a Cyberman any day; they’re easier to figure out.” Ianto’s confused look flickered with pain and Mickey regretted his slip. He had only heard about Lisa recently. “The only reason I went with the Doctor was because of Rose. By then I knew I had lost her to him, so I wanted to see why. I needed to understand why I wasn’t good enough.” He paused slightly at Ianto’s sharp inhale, confirming Mickey’s suspicion that led him up here in the first place. “I found out she belonged with him so much more than me. They were meant for one another, as sappy as that sounds. But it’s true. I’ve never seen two people complete each other like that.”
Ianto looked down at his forgotten pizza sadly. So that was his fate: to be deserted for the Doctor, if he didn’t die first.
“Now Jack,” Mickey said into Ianto’s silence. “Jack has had a least two opportunities to go with the Doctor and instead came back here. I have no doubt it has everything to do with you-”
“And Gwen,” Ianto interjected. He refused to let himself think he that important to Jack. It would only hurt more when Jack eventually left.
“No, he came back for you.” Mickey said firmly. When Ianto didn’t respond Mickey sighed. There wasn’t more he could do besides be there to listen when Ianto needed it. He straightened up and tapped his fingers on the cracked countertop. “So really, I understand what you’re going through more than I understand Jack.”
Ianto returned to the present, ignoring the sharp pain in his head. Rose was staring at him with tears running down his cheeks and he decided it was probably best not to mention the rest of the conversation, when Ianto managed to get Mickey to open up about Jake. While he knew Rose knew Jake had died, Mickey said he never told her how. He and Jake had been on their last mission for the Preachers before becoming full-fledged Torchwood agents when a few of their group ended up turning on them and shooting Jake right in front of Mickey before leaving them both to die.
“So,” Mickey said, “I know what it’s like to have someone you love murdered by the people you trusted.” Ianto hadn’t tried to explain that the Cyberwoman hadn’t been Lisa since Canary Warf because then he’d think of Annie with blood running down her face, recalling a memory she shouldn’t have known. But after that night, he and Mickey shared a bond they couldn’t forge with anyone else and Ianto liked to think it helped the other man with the pain of losing his lover.
“Ianto?” Rose’s voice broke his thoughts and Ianto tried to smile reassuringly at her.
“Sorry,” he said faintly. “I was just-”
Suddenly the door burst open and a very excited Doctor bounded in. “Sorry to interrupt but two very important things just happened: my paperwork went through for the room, a very rare occurrence indeed, and more importantly: the Noble Machine is functional!”
Rose jumped up at this. “Really? Have they run the tests yet?”
“Just waiting for you, Madam Creator,” he said with a flourish. She ran out of the room, shouting goodbye over her shoulder. The Doctor smiled broadly at her retreating form but sobered a bit when he turned toward Ianto.
“Now Ianto Jones, it’s time for you to remember who you are.”
Part Three