(no subject)
Taking chances
1774 w; pg-13
suho/yixing
suho thinks that it's okay to be brave for once
Back then Suho had honestly thought that it was a great idea. A brilliant one, in fact.
Maybe it was because he liked Yixing so much. Yixing, who stole the hearts of all the people around him with his sweet smiles and his politeness. Yixing, who - despite all his sweetness - could be mischievous too, which made Suho love him even more. Yixing...Lay, who was radiant and shining, when he danced and sang and played his guitar.
Maybe it was the adrenaline that ran through Suho's body after they had finally finished their China showcase successfully, but for the first time in his life he had felt brave and strong and confident. At that moment nothing had seemed too crazy to him - least of all confessing his love to Yixing. Because being in love was a good thing and Suho had been very much in love.
So before anybody had been able to dampen his euphoria, Suho had decided that it was okay to risk it all for once.
His hand had only shaken a little bit when he had knocked on Yixing's hotel room later that night. It had taken a short eternity for the younger man to open the door and Suho had the terrible feeling that he might have woken the other one up with his knocking. His fear had been confirmed when Yixing was standing in the doorway a few seconds later dressed in nothing put boxer shorts and a lose t-shirt, hair tousled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"Hyung, it's late. Is everything alright?" Suho's courage had vanished then and there, because Yixing had smiled at him and Yixing's smile made Suho nervous. It was too sweet, too pure and made all the butterflies in Suho's stomach go crazy. So instead of answering, he had simply kissed him.
Suho was quite sure that most people wouldn't call their kiss a real kiss, because it had been nothing more than a touching of lips (Yixing's had been soft and had tasted like peppermint toothpaste), but Suho still liked to think of it as a kiss - his first kiss - because of reasons.
Confusion had been written all over Yixing's face after their kiss and before Suho had a chance to explain his feelings, the door had opened and a sleepy Jongdae had kicked Suho out of his and Yixing's room. ("What are you doing here in the middle of the night, leader? Your plane back to Korea leaves in a few hours. You should be sleeping.")
Before Suho had been able to answered anything in return, Jongdae had slammed the door into his face. All of a sudden, Suho had felt incredibly lost and stupid standing in the dark hallway alone. He had felt even more stupid a few minutes later, when Kyungsoo had found him there, staring at the wooden door with teary eyes.
"Go to bed, Joonmyun."
In the morning, K had left without saying goodbye, even though Suho had tried to reason with the others how terribly impolite it would be not to say goodbye to the rest of the group.
"So it would be more polite to wake all of them only for a quick 'bye bye'?" Sometimes Suho didn't like Jongin at all.
Suho had spent the entire flight typing and deleting every single message he had tried to write to Yixing on his phone. He wondered how it was possible for some people to confess their feelings over the phone, because it seemed impossible to him.
He had grown more and more desperate with every new attempt until he had finally given up, curled up into a ball and had tried to sleep (which hadn't worked at all, because the only thing on his mind had been Yixing's sleep tousled hair and his sweet smile and the feeling of Yixing's lips on his own).
Yes, Suho remembered how it had sounded like such a nice idea in the beginning, but now M was back in Korean and Suho felt like drowning.
Their reunion at the airport must have looked like a scene from these far too sappy romantic comedies his mum made him watch as a kid. Tao had cried too much and Chanyeol had laughed too loudly and Yixing had not looked at him once.
It had hurt much more than Suho wanted to admit to himself.
The rest of the day had been all fun and games. They all had dinner together and then Chanyeol had drag all of them into the arcade for some rounds of mindless computer games.
Now Suho was sitting in the big and comfy chair in front of their television with some of his other group members. He couldn't really tell what the movie was about, though. He was pretty sure it was some kind of action movie, because there was a lot of shooting and screaming and fighting going on, but he really was too preoccupied with not staring at Yixing, who was sitting on the couch right next to him.
From time to time Suho could hear Kyungsoo talking with somebody in the kitchen (Jongin, he guessed) and he vaguely remembered seeing Baekhyun running up the stairs to his room in a vain attempt to escape from Chanyeol's too affectionate teasing (Chanyeol teasing his boyfriend was one of his sickly daily rituals).
Not that Suho cared. Not when Yixing was curled up on the couch with Xiumin and Luhan, his head on Luhan's shoulder and his hand on Luhan's thigh, which was totally unacceptable. Where the heck was Sehun, when you needed him?
Suho risked a small glance at Yixing and nearly jumped out of his skin, when he saw that the younger man was looking right at him, a small smile playing on his lips.
How long had the Chinese boy been staring at him? Suho blushed furiously.
Yixing turned away - still smiling - and whispered something into Luhan's ear. Then he untangled their limbs and stood up. Suho sank deeper into the chaír, when Yixing reached out to touch the back of his neck with his fingertips. The touch was fleeting, but it was enough to give Suho goosebumps.
The wheels in Suho's head were turning at a rapid pace. What was Yixing doing? First he ignored him the whole day long, even though Suho had tried his best to get the attention of the younger man, and now Yixing was touching him.
Suho looked up only to see the shadow of his love disappearing down the hallway to his room. He knew he should not just jump up and ran after the younger man (after all, Suho was a subtle person), but at this moment he couldn't care less.
He nearly fell over his own feet when he rushed down the hallway after Yixing, but stopped abruptly in front of the closed door. Suho bit his lips. This felt like a bad case of déjà vu. He took a deep breath and knocked.
This time, the door opened almost immediately.
"Come in." Yixing's face was an emotionless mask, which didn't help Suho's nervousness at all.
Suho tried his best to look the younger one into the eyes, which was hard, when Yixing's eyes were so unreadable. Suho was used to the warmth in the younger man's eyes, but couldn't find it in them at all at this moment.
Seconds passed in which neither one of them spoke and just as Suho opened his mouth to say something, Yixing spoke up: "You never wrote...or called after...you know... Why?"
"I-I'm...wanted to...but...it's..." Coherent sentences were not an option as long as Yixing was staring at him with dark eyes.
"I thought you liked me." Yixing's voice was not more than a whisper, but it was so terribly quiet in the room that Suho could hear the pain in his words clearly. He winced.
"I do. I'm sorry."
"You've a very strange way of showing that." Yixing shook his head and reached for the door.
"Don't go! Please don't!" Yixing stopped, turned around and leaned against the door.
Suho swallowed hard. "I've liked you for a long time. Since we have met, actually...but you always seem so out of my reach. I'm not good with words and half of the time I don't even know what I'm talking about...I'm just awkward, I guess." Suho squeezed his eyes shut, because he could feel the tears coming. You're pathetic.
A few seconds later Suho heard how the key was turning in the lock and he dared to open his eyes a tiny bit. He saw Yixing walking over to him and now the younger one was smiling: "I don't think you're awkward...Joonmyun."
Kissing Yixing - really kissing him - felt mind-blowing and surreal and Suho was tempted to pinch himself to see if he was just dreaming. But then Yixing started biting and licking his underlip and Suho forgot about doing anything else but hugging Yixing and losing himself in the kiss.
When they parted for air a few moments later, Suho's cheeks were flushed and his whole body felt hot. Yixing's hands, which had started unbuttoning his shirt, were also not helping his condition very much.
Suho took a deep breath to clear his head and said the first thing that came to his mind: "W-what about Jongdae?"
Yixing hands stilled and he looked at the older one in confusion. "What about him?"
"It's his room too. Where shall he...?" Suho glanced at the locked door.
The younger man grinned. "Aren't you nice, hyung? I'm sure Jongdae-ah will find another place to sleep...this time."
With these words Yixing pushed him back and Suho landed on Yixing's bed, while the younger man climbed into his lap.
"Don't think about other people now, okay?" Yixing didn't wait for an answer, but kissed him again. Yixing's kisses were much like himself - slow and sweet, but had a playful side too.
A quiet moan escaped Suho's mouth, when Yixing finally pushed off his shirt and started drawing circles on his bare upper body, teasing his nipples for a moment, before placing his hands on Suho's hips to push their bodies closer together.
"Suho...you can touch too, you know." Yixing's breath was tickling the older man's ear and because Suho had lost his ability to speak somewhere between the door and the bed, he just grabbed Yixing's hips, threw him down on the bed and attacked his neck.
And when Yixing slowly started to turn into a moaning and whimpering mess under him, Suho knew that being brave obviously paid off from time to time.