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There's a possiblity that I might be desperately, irrevocably bored. But I can't tell.
My ability to assess my own temperament has dwindled.
Maybe I'm ecstatic. Maybe I'm devastated.
I am terrified of us. Humans. We are shallow and weak-willed but also tender and meek and in awe. Which side is stronger in each one of us? How can we trust one another? Where are we going?
How can I stop approaching things intellectually and learn to view each person/situation as its own thing, rich with complexity, and not as something to be filed away into some socio-political category of my own creation that holds no validity because it is the offspring of a thought process that is based totally in my own fears about mankind and not at all in rational, subtle, or carefully-crafted examination of this situation we find ourselves in? Fuck.
But, wait, everything is kind of holding hands, everything is intertwined. Right?
Whatever.
In any event, the universe is a wilted, blooming, terrible, glorious place. And sometimes I want to retreat. Abort mission. Code red, motherfucker, code red.
My ability to assess my own temperament has dwindled.
Maybe I'm ecstatic. Maybe I'm devastated.
I am terrified of us. Humans. We are shallow and weak-willed but also tender and meek and in awe. Which side is stronger in each one of us? How can we trust one another? Where are we going?
How can I stop approaching things intellectually and learn to view each person/situation as its own thing, rich with complexity, and not as something to be filed away into some socio-political category of my own creation that holds no validity because it is the offspring of a thought process that is based totally in my own fears about mankind and not at all in rational, subtle, or carefully-crafted examination of this situation we find ourselves in? Fuck.
But, wait, everything is kind of holding hands, everything is intertwined. Right?
Whatever.
In any event, the universe is a wilted, blooming, terrible, glorious place. And sometimes I want to retreat. Abort mission. Code red, motherfucker, code red.