(no subject)
I thought I might as well update this thing.
First off, Mexico was awsome ^^ we had an awsome romantic time.. I loved the warmth of the sand and the water. There was thunder storms almost every night! and our hotel room was on the corner of the building soe we had two balconies, one that faced the inner courtyard with the pool and one that faced the beach into the bay.
I remember the pirate ship that lit off fireworkds during at dusk, and the lights and dancing people as it rode by. Our dinner was eaten just off the beach on a small patio in lantern light. It was like a scene from one of those cheese romantic movies lol
We rented a jet ski 3 days in lol He drives like a mad man on the water haha so when I took over, I let him feel the ride.. it was by accident that he wasnt holding on to me tight enough.. just tight enough for him to not fall off on that series of waves.. and that last wave.. when I kind of.. you know.. stopped suddenly.. *snicker* He felt it alright.. Though I think for a minute there he thought he lost a nut LOL I really didnt mean to haha!
OK anyway! Foam parties are officially fun! and Tequilla added makes it OHHHHHHHH so fun!
But all the drunken crazy mexican nights away, I came back with an infected foot :P a blister that wasnt taken care of. I got a shot of gentimyacin before we went on the plane to come home, more antibiotics the next day and it finally went away. Have a nasty scare too.
THEN about a week after I finished off with that, my gums above my teeth but below my sinus started to heart.. badly. That kind of freaked me out. It turned out to be a 10 year old injury. Back in grade 5, I was running down cement stairs at my elementary school and tripped and hit my front tooth against the pavement. I chipped it but there was alot of blood too. I think I actually ended up swallowing the piece in the confusion... >.> ANYWAY back on track: Went to go see the dentist and he thought my tooth would die and go black, that would mean it would have to be pulled and what not. but it never did. so they put a cap on it so the tooth looks whole again. Little did they know that that tooth as well as two other teeth died back then and the tooth never properly closed. The root rotted and festered until my gums became victom of its hurting evil.
I had to get 3 root canals done.. and I dont know what to think about Steve sitting in the room just watching the dentist do her work.. I mean really.. I cant feel much but I can sure hear the vibration of the mini file get all the crap out of there.. ew...
but anyway... I was given another antibiotic for that infection which has a nasty side effect of creating a toxin in your stomach that doesnt allow you to digest anything.. so.. I was given ANOTHER antibiotic to counter that.. I needed two doses of that to make it entirely go away :( so from august 16th to about november I was on an antibiotic for something, lost about 20 pounds due to a gatorade and soup diet.. it sucked.
Quit working for Famous Players in December.. worked for Toys R Us for their seasonal.. got laid off on new years eve.. and been jobless ever since..
Until now that is. :)
as far as my relationship.. Its been interesting. I cant remember the last time Steve actually kissed me with out me initiating the kiss (other than valentine's day when it felt like it was his duty to do it), I cant remember the last time we went out.. I cant even remember the last time he touched me other than when he half ass cuddles me while watching TV.
I cuddle up to him in bed.. I just.. He will never talk to me about the problems I see in our relationship and hes pushing me away in doing so.. I feel like I am giving, giving, and giving, and not getting anything in return.. I fell in Love with him in Mexico. I havent had the guts to tell him. He hasnt said anything either.
Im tired of waiting to see if he will do something to acknowledge me. Just talk.. a walk in the park.. ice cream.. pool.. just him and me outside of this blasted apartment and outside of warcraft. I love the game and love playing with him but personal socialization is good too. I know he cares.. but sometimes you need to be shown to be able to see it. I dont want an actor for a boyfriend so I can be his sexpuppet that lives with him.
I cant handle that. I am worth more than that.
Im getting depressed about it too.. When I first moved in with him, I was cleaning my arms off. Now its like.. he throws stuff everywhere all the time anyway so why bother. I clean every now and then.. do the dishes when they get stacked.. But.. *sigh*
When Jane said she wanted to move out and that she was looking for roommates.. I was seriously considering it.. Until she found a place the day we were suppost to look together.. and she is already half moved in.
Im thinking if I get out of debt and I have enough left over and I still feel like this in a month or two, I might not be here with him if he keeps ignoring me.
Im a person who loves affection. I love someone holding my hand, I love being kissed in public (to a certain extent), I love it when his hand used to brush my cheek and through my hair..
He doesnt do that anymore...
I miss Tessa, even though she was a cat she listened and would purr for me.
First off, Mexico was awsome ^^ we had an awsome romantic time.. I loved the warmth of the sand and the water. There was thunder storms almost every night! and our hotel room was on the corner of the building soe we had two balconies, one that faced the inner courtyard with the pool and one that faced the beach into the bay.
I remember the pirate ship that lit off fireworkds during at dusk, and the lights and dancing people as it rode by. Our dinner was eaten just off the beach on a small patio in lantern light. It was like a scene from one of those cheese romantic movies lol
We rented a jet ski 3 days in lol He drives like a mad man on the water haha so when I took over, I let him feel the ride.. it was by accident that he wasnt holding on to me tight enough.. just tight enough for him to not fall off on that series of waves.. and that last wave.. when I kind of.. you know.. stopped suddenly.. *snicker* He felt it alright.. Though I think for a minute there he thought he lost a nut LOL I really didnt mean to haha!
OK anyway! Foam parties are officially fun! and Tequilla added makes it OHHHHHHHH so fun!
But all the drunken crazy mexican nights away, I came back with an infected foot :P a blister that wasnt taken care of. I got a shot of gentimyacin before we went on the plane to come home, more antibiotics the next day and it finally went away. Have a nasty scare too.
THEN about a week after I finished off with that, my gums above my teeth but below my sinus started to heart.. badly. That kind of freaked me out. It turned out to be a 10 year old injury. Back in grade 5, I was running down cement stairs at my elementary school and tripped and hit my front tooth against the pavement. I chipped it but there was alot of blood too. I think I actually ended up swallowing the piece in the confusion... >.> ANYWAY back on track: Went to go see the dentist and he thought my tooth would die and go black, that would mean it would have to be pulled and what not. but it never did. so they put a cap on it so the tooth looks whole again. Little did they know that that tooth as well as two other teeth died back then and the tooth never properly closed. The root rotted and festered until my gums became victom of its hurting evil.
I had to get 3 root canals done.. and I dont know what to think about Steve sitting in the room just watching the dentist do her work.. I mean really.. I cant feel much but I can sure hear the vibration of the mini file get all the crap out of there.. ew...
but anyway... I was given another antibiotic for that infection which has a nasty side effect of creating a toxin in your stomach that doesnt allow you to digest anything.. so.. I was given ANOTHER antibiotic to counter that.. I needed two doses of that to make it entirely go away :( so from august 16th to about november I was on an antibiotic for something, lost about 20 pounds due to a gatorade and soup diet.. it sucked.
Quit working for Famous Players in December.. worked for Toys R Us for their seasonal.. got laid off on new years eve.. and been jobless ever since..
Until now that is. :)
as far as my relationship.. Its been interesting. I cant remember the last time Steve actually kissed me with out me initiating the kiss (other than valentine's day when it felt like it was his duty to do it), I cant remember the last time we went out.. I cant even remember the last time he touched me other than when he half ass cuddles me while watching TV.
I cuddle up to him in bed.. I just.. He will never talk to me about the problems I see in our relationship and hes pushing me away in doing so.. I feel like I am giving, giving, and giving, and not getting anything in return.. I fell in Love with him in Mexico. I havent had the guts to tell him. He hasnt said anything either.
Im tired of waiting to see if he will do something to acknowledge me. Just talk.. a walk in the park.. ice cream.. pool.. just him and me outside of this blasted apartment and outside of warcraft. I love the game and love playing with him but personal socialization is good too. I know he cares.. but sometimes you need to be shown to be able to see it. I dont want an actor for a boyfriend so I can be his sexpuppet that lives with him.
I cant handle that. I am worth more than that.
Im getting depressed about it too.. When I first moved in with him, I was cleaning my arms off. Now its like.. he throws stuff everywhere all the time anyway so why bother. I clean every now and then.. do the dishes when they get stacked.. But.. *sigh*
When Jane said she wanted to move out and that she was looking for roommates.. I was seriously considering it.. Until she found a place the day we were suppost to look together.. and she is already half moved in.
Im thinking if I get out of debt and I have enough left over and I still feel like this in a month or two, I might not be here with him if he keeps ignoring me.
Im a person who loves affection. I love someone holding my hand, I love being kissed in public (to a certain extent), I love it when his hand used to brush my cheek and through my hair..
He doesnt do that anymore...
I miss Tessa, even though she was a cat she listened and would purr for me.