Kiss the way we were good bye, good bye and farewell.
To say your phone call last night didn't throw me for a loop would be a lie. No it more like tore me limb from limb. B called twice, then texted "I miss you. You hate me." I was sleeping and it woke me up and I went back and forth if I should reply or go back to sleep but I ended up texting "You miss me? I'm sure you're just drunk & horny go find someone else i'm over it". He then texted me like paragraphs about how much he had fucked it all up and no one ever measures up to me and I'm everywhere, he sees me everywhere.
I didn't know what to say so I texted back "It could have gone one way but it didn't. It is what it is. Good night." Then he texted he needed to hear my voice. He called again. I lit a cigarette cause I needed on. Then I called him back. I wanted to cry before I even got any words out but I didn't. He lives in an apartment close by and he has an English Bulldog puppy named Jude. And he told me he loved me and he didn't know how to handle that. I told him some of what I wanted to say but not everything. Cause I was tired and my brain was spinning. I said if he wanted to meet up to talk I would this weekend.
What to do... I could just go on and not answer his calls again and pretend like that never happened. But the truth is every guy I've dated since him has been almost a copycat of him, like the same sort of appearance (shaved head, tattoos, muscular), some of the same mannerisms, but it's never quite right and it always falls short. When I met him it was like all sorts of collisions, two crazy people getting all tangled up in one another. He's only 21. God damn it. Stop haunting me. This bruised heart is already waving the white flag. You love me?
What's the use in that?
Vegas is still on the horizon. Fuck this fucking town & all your fucking friends. I might be running away but so what?
I didn't know what to say so I texted back "It could have gone one way but it didn't. It is what it is. Good night." Then he texted he needed to hear my voice. He called again. I lit a cigarette cause I needed on. Then I called him back. I wanted to cry before I even got any words out but I didn't. He lives in an apartment close by and he has an English Bulldog puppy named Jude. And he told me he loved me and he didn't know how to handle that. I told him some of what I wanted to say but not everything. Cause I was tired and my brain was spinning. I said if he wanted to meet up to talk I would this weekend.
What to do... I could just go on and not answer his calls again and pretend like that never happened. But the truth is every guy I've dated since him has been almost a copycat of him, like the same sort of appearance (shaved head, tattoos, muscular), some of the same mannerisms, but it's never quite right and it always falls short. When I met him it was like all sorts of collisions, two crazy people getting all tangled up in one another. He's only 21. God damn it. Stop haunting me. This bruised heart is already waving the white flag. You love me?
What's the use in that?
Vegas is still on the horizon. Fuck this fucking town & all your fucking friends. I might be running away but so what?