its been a while...
... but here i am.
i'm happy. but scared. and confused. all at the same time. and i'm still trying to figure out life. i'm taking life day by day, and i've stopped living in fear of the future. rather, i'm excited to see what every new day brings me. some may say this is risky business... some may say i need to "plan" for the future. but, i've learned that life throws you curve balls and no matter how prepared you think you are, you're never fullly ready for the challenges it poses.
i'm happy due to recent events. okay, so maybe its just one event, but still... i don't know how long it has been since i have last felt this... excited about the future. i find myself smiling for no apparent reason... laughing a lot more and being a whole lot more pleasant in general [[not to say i wasn't pleasant before]]. i love getting messages for no reason other than to say "goodnight & sweet dreams" : ]
i'm scared for obvious reasons. for obvious reasons that many girls fear. i'm afraid that everything could fall through at any given moment and that by that moment, i may have already put my entire heart into it. i know that you'll never know how great something is until you take the risk, but what if the other person can't assure you that you're not the only one? i know the feelings are there and mutual, i'm just scared of history repeating itself and ending up broken hearted again.
i'm confused. simply because he is a boy and i am a girl and things between the two hearts are always complicated and a bit confusing.
through all of my emotions, i'm ready. for whatever life brings me. i am expecting the unexpected and loving every minute of it.