Why hello there
Hey folks, how's it going? Sorry it's been awhile...two months or so, I guess. It's hard to find time for LJ these days. Strange, seeing as all I do is work and school (and I must confess, I'm still not that absorbed in school). I've got to try to stop slipping back into old patterns. A lot has happened in the past few months, I guess. I turned 21, that was fun. Unfortunately, that means I have free reign to waste as much of my life in a drunken stupor as I please, and that's been going on too often, as well.
School's back in full effect, and I'd say I feel more lost than ever. It's hard to concentrate on studying without any concrete goals in mind. I wish I was one of those people that could honestly say "I'm going to be a doctor" or "I'm going to be a lawyer," but I know full well that if I told anyone that I was going to be anything in particular, I'd be a liar. I suppose teaching is still the closest thing I have to an idea of what I want to do, but that's not even appealing enough to warrant dealing with all the bullshit that comes with succeeding in college. I dunno what to do, really. It's hard enough to admit to myself that I'm currently going nowhere, so I don't have the faintest clue how to break that kind of news to my family. It's hard to confess that I'm turning out exactly the way they always told me I would - an utter failure. It's harder to say "Hey, I know all this money has been spent on me, but I really just want to take some time off and figure things out for myself" than anything I've ever said before. I don't know if I've got the courage, honestly.
Anyways, enough depressing talk. I need to get better at seeing those I care about. Shit, I haven't even gotten to chill with Coulter in a few weeks, and he lives about 4 blocks away. Saw Char the other day, though. Huzzah for that. I'll be sure to give you a call as soon as I can find some time, but it's hard to do that when I'm still working 6 days a week.
Speaking of work, I've got to be there in 15 minutes, so I ought to take off.
See you all later, sorry for taking up space on your friends pages, assuming that some of you still have me listed.
School's back in full effect, and I'd say I feel more lost than ever. It's hard to concentrate on studying without any concrete goals in mind. I wish I was one of those people that could honestly say "I'm going to be a doctor" or "I'm going to be a lawyer," but I know full well that if I told anyone that I was going to be anything in particular, I'd be a liar. I suppose teaching is still the closest thing I have to an idea of what I want to do, but that's not even appealing enough to warrant dealing with all the bullshit that comes with succeeding in college. I dunno what to do, really. It's hard enough to admit to myself that I'm currently going nowhere, so I don't have the faintest clue how to break that kind of news to my family. It's hard to confess that I'm turning out exactly the way they always told me I would - an utter failure. It's harder to say "Hey, I know all this money has been spent on me, but I really just want to take some time off and figure things out for myself" than anything I've ever said before. I don't know if I've got the courage, honestly.
Anyways, enough depressing talk. I need to get better at seeing those I care about. Shit, I haven't even gotten to chill with Coulter in a few weeks, and he lives about 4 blocks away. Saw Char the other day, though. Huzzah for that. I'll be sure to give you a call as soon as I can find some time, but it's hard to do that when I'm still working 6 days a week.
Speaking of work, I've got to be there in 15 minutes, so I ought to take off.
See you all later, sorry for taking up space on your friends pages, assuming that some of you still have me listed.