(Untitled)

[young_idealist]

Who:  Armand St. Just and Mano
Where: Armand's cabin, 5-13
What: meeting for the first time
When: continuation of this
Warnings: probably not (Mano promised not to try to seduce Armand so we're all good here)

Comments

[young_idealist]

Armand had no idea what to say about the cats, other than being grateful Freya couldn't walk through walls. She'd be everywhere and into everything and probably eat Marigold besides.

His heart froze in his chest at Mano's question. His fingers were resting on the pages of the file, far too few details to tell someone how another had lived his or her life. "I am not your judge, Mano. Neither is this file. I didn't write what is written in here." And yet Armand had always assumed these files were uncorrupted truth. He hoped his voice wasn't shaking as he added, "Please give me a moment to look again so I can tell you what it says accurately."

He re-read the few short paragraphs describing the no-doubt hideous destruction of an entire race by toxic compounds. Tears kept trying to form at the corners of his eyes, but he stubbornly kept blinking them away.

"I cannot imagine the despair of your state of mind, but it is clear that the deaths of your people were not your fault. You did, however, destroy the planet itself and kill several people on... on the moon, I think." He knew his voice was shaking by then. He was terrified of this man, and didn't really know any way not to telegraph that.

[lastsonofangtu]

Mano held himself very still as Armand told him what was in the records. Then his shoulders slumped. "I... I ask your forgiveness, Warden. I am used to the reports that said I deliberately committed genocide on a sick whim." he replied quietly. "Thanks to McCauley, that is what history will record about me." He looked aside, his own tears leaving glistening white refractions down his cheeks. "Is it not said that the winners write history?"

[young_idealist]

It took Armand a moment to speak, most of it occupied with wrestling with his own rampant fears, but eventually he nodded, trying to smile. "There is no need for you to apologize. How could you know?"

"Even had you done that, you wouldn't find as much blame from me as you feared." He still couldn't get the Borg Queen out of his mind. She was so coldly unrepentant though. This...this man was different from the start.

"Why don't you tell me why you think you were blamed? It could give me some perspective. If you cannot speak of it just now, then perhaps we can deal with more immediate and trivial concerns about our working relationship."

[lastsonofangtu]

"I do not think I was blamed; I know it." Mano started. "McCauley himself told me -- bragged about it, I should say -- while he had me locked up on Luna. He thanked me for destroying the physical evidence of his weapons sales, so all he had to do was erase the remaining records and all the blame was squarely on me."

Mano pulled the cloak around him again. "He had me chained down so that I was forced to kneel before him; the only relief I had from that position was when he allowed the upper set of chains to be lengthened so I could feed... not that it was much better since then I'd have to lap from the bowl like an animal." His eyespots blinked out. "I was like that about two -- years. Until the Legion called me to battle the Sun-Eater."

"Which wasn't there, but I helped stop the true threat..." Mano shook his head slowly. "And they said they wouldn't be fooled by my pretending to be good; I murdered a world, and that's all they needed to know."

[young_idealist]

"I was actually asking what you thought their motivation was for blaming you. I am sorry I wasn't clear." Armand knew that somehow people understood languages here, but he still felt very much as if he was working at a disadvantage. He had no reason for thinking it, but it was part of his mindset, sadly, to believe that others were more clever than he was. So the time before he spoke again dragged out as he mentally rehearsed every possible thing he could say.

He finally realized that the real sympathy he felt for Mano's treatment and present situation could help. "That sounds like a terrible thing to have happen. I've been in very bad positions myself, and I don't think anything that was ever done to me came close." Nor did he think he'd endure the humiliation and the grief half as well. "How long has it been for you since then?"

[lastsonofangtu]

"He blamed me because he needed a scapegoat." Mano replied. "The United Planets may be dependent on McCauley -- and I pity them for it -- but even they could not keep overlooking planetary-level genocide? Angtu was not his first victim... and I doubt it will be his last."

He nodded to Armand. "I should hope you had not undergone such torments. As for how long I was imprisoned on Takron-Galtos after the battle over the Sun-Eater?" Mano shrugged. "I am unsure; at least a year, perhaps more. There was no way for me to keep track of time; the cell was isolated, and guards only gave me food if they felt like it. So no regular schedule, as you can see."

[young_idealist]

"Mano, I want you to feel as if you can trust me," Armand says after thinking carefully through all this. He knew his long silences weren't communicating the best message, but being rash wouldn't help either of them. "Can you tell me what you need from me so I may earn that?"

"As you've been here some weeks, you can understand some of this, but I don't know if it's enough. Here, we will not starve you. You will not be locked away in isolation except for specific on board misbehavior, and the limit of the time a warden can sentence an inmate to Zero is one week. And if you end up there, be assured that I, at least, will visit you everyday, as well as making sure your physical needs are met. Also, I will not lie to you. I think that sometimes I will not be able to tell you everything, but I am not a good liar. I don't believe in doing it except in extreme need, so I don't do it."

[lastsonofangtu]

"I am not fool enough to trust everyone... but this place," Mano paused, "it somehow inspires trust. I have been treated well -- more than merely well."

"But perhaps you could explain something of your life to me, Armand?" Mano tilted his head. "What brought you here, for example..."

[young_idealist]

Armand had to close his eyes. Mano had to ask that of all questions? He gripped the arms of his chair for a long, tense moment. "It's not something I talk about easily, for my shame of it is very deep. Not all misfortunes, torments and mistakes are the same scale as yours, but they hurt nonetheless for it."

[lastsonofangtu]

Mano blinked. "Oh?" He pondered this. "I take it then that you were once an Inmate? Doctor Jones had mentioned if I do find redemption here, that I may be allowed to stay on as a Warden. How well I could perform such a responsibility I am unsure, but it is far preferable to returning to my point of origin."

[young_idealist]

"No, I wasn't. I don't know why. Perhaps because what i did wasn't a crime exactly, just abhorrent." He shakes his head. "I just don't know. Maybe it's because I'm not dead." His knuckles were turning white from his grip on the chair arms. After a moment, he forced himself to let go.

"I'm sorry, Mano. I don't think I am as prepared for this as I hoped." He takes a few breaths. "It is true that when you have worked through to your redemption, you can be a warden. I've seen it happen. To others, not me."

[lastsonofangtu]

"So this is helping you with your own redemption, not just mine..." Mano let the subject of what caused Armand's distress drop; it wasn't going to help matters.

[young_idealist]

"In a way, yes. I need to learn about how to forgive. Perhaps you do too, if you think you can work with me." He isn't certain about that. "I do want to inquire if you have an on-board work assignment. It seems necessary to keep busy."

[lastsonofangtu]

"Doctor Jones did mention the possibility of my working in the Infirmary, once I have had further training." Mano replied. "Will that suffice?"

[young_idealist]

"Oh yes, that would do perfectly well." He looks back down to the file in his lap. "You don't catch things easily do you?"

[lastsonofangtu]

"Illnesses, you mean?" Mano replied. "The disintegration energies have prevented those during my lifetime... and even with my powers being sealed within me, Doctor Jones confirmed that those energies would still destroy any medicines administered. So I believe I am still immune; if I am not, then the burden shall be on me."