A song about Home
So, I went to Charlotte this weekend. I had a terrible time when I was there, but looking back on it I had a pretty good time. I made some mistakes while I was there. I had feelings I could not control. And I regret some of the things I felt while I was there. But, I have made amends and moved on. This week I must stay focused and determined to succeed. But, I find myself having trouble concentrating, because while I may not have enjoyed the feelings this weekend and days before I can't ignore them.
Things have been plaguing my mind. I joke a great deal about being alone and not having someone to share things with. Recently I have begun to believe the jokes that I have made. I haven't had an empty feelings like this since this time last year. And, it scares me. These are part of the things that contributed to this past weekend's mindset. But, I am trying to overcome, I am trying to dig my way out of this relapse.
Further, I am concerned that the work I am doing to fill the void isn't actually filling the void. I have begun to feel that my work is not taking the place of nothingness, but piling on top of the hole that I am feeling. So, my traditional creedo of filling my time with work is leading me to further misery. I am not sure if what I am doing is right. I am not sure that I am focusing on the right things. For once in my life, I am unsure of something besides love. I love the work I am doing, but am I doing anything that matters???
These feelings have led me to think of home. I have lots of different homes. I have spent little or no time making roots in a certain place. The closest thing I have to a home (besides my parents address) is the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Both in Bowling Green and Lexington I have a place. But, what is a home... Is it an address and a plot of land? I have begun to think otherwise. Home is a place where you are comfortable. It is a place where you have someone to enjoy time with, someone to talk to. Not necessarily someone you are in a romantic relationship with, but someone to share a life with. My fraternity is often termed a home, and it is.
It is the combination of all of these feelings that has lead me astray. It is this that is plaguing my mind while I am trying to read and write two papers and three tests this week. Further, it is plaguing my mind and my extra curricular areas of my life. But, for once I want to be able to talk about my free time. Time I go out and enjoy life. If I get ice cream with someone. If I grab a cup of coffee with someone I care about. Time and time again I find myself not talking about this, but talking about my busy day.
I leave you with the words of Michael Buble:
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Babe I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
'Cause I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
That this is not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
Where's my home?
END OF SONG
Things have been plaguing my mind. I joke a great deal about being alone and not having someone to share things with. Recently I have begun to believe the jokes that I have made. I haven't had an empty feelings like this since this time last year. And, it scares me. These are part of the things that contributed to this past weekend's mindset. But, I am trying to overcome, I am trying to dig my way out of this relapse.
Further, I am concerned that the work I am doing to fill the void isn't actually filling the void. I have begun to feel that my work is not taking the place of nothingness, but piling on top of the hole that I am feeling. So, my traditional creedo of filling my time with work is leading me to further misery. I am not sure if what I am doing is right. I am not sure that I am focusing on the right things. For once in my life, I am unsure of something besides love. I love the work I am doing, but am I doing anything that matters???
These feelings have led me to think of home. I have lots of different homes. I have spent little or no time making roots in a certain place. The closest thing I have to a home (besides my parents address) is the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Both in Bowling Green and Lexington I have a place. But, what is a home... Is it an address and a plot of land? I have begun to think otherwise. Home is a place where you are comfortable. It is a place where you have someone to enjoy time with, someone to talk to. Not necessarily someone you are in a romantic relationship with, but someone to share a life with. My fraternity is often termed a home, and it is.
It is the combination of all of these feelings that has lead me astray. It is this that is plaguing my mind while I am trying to read and write two papers and three tests this week. Further, it is plaguing my mind and my extra curricular areas of my life. But, for once I want to be able to talk about my free time. Time I go out and enjoy life. If I get ice cream with someone. If I grab a cup of coffee with someone I care about. Time and time again I find myself not talking about this, but talking about my busy day.
I leave you with the words of Michael Buble:
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Babe I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
'Cause I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
That this is not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
Where's my home?
END OF SONG