Apres le vin.
I woke up on a couch, took a second to remember. Kelly's parents. They were out of town. There was wine. A lot of wine. I remember watching waynes world and cooking shrimp. I must have blacked out during Mallrats.
Today he spoke. I had made a promise to go out at some point this weekend. We went for sushi and then to hawthorne. I was looking at some sparkly red platform boots when i felt his arms wrapping around my waist. I closed my eyes and for a breif moment felt all the warmth and love that exists in the world. I hated that I felt it, that I slipped in there and forgot about everything bad that existed between us, but at the same time, the moment was so good I couldn't deny it.
He said he'd move in with me back into my old apartment at esthershort commons. He was eager. I said that things had to change and then he wrapped himself around me.
We had a good day together. And at the end, I asked it. How do I know this is real? How do I know that this isn't another lie, that you won't fuck me then turn on me... that you really mean the things you say and do, that the feelings I have aren't for nothing?
There is no answer yet, but that he has to think about how to answer a question like that.
I hate that I still love him. I really do.