for Kate

[lastof_five]

After John's arrival, Helen had been more than a little unsettled and it took some doing to manage to get Kate alone in the vet's office without Coraline or Hiccup underfoot. Not that Helen thought Hiccup would do anything rash but Coraline would and the last thing she wanted was to endanger a little girl under her care because of John's showing

Comments

[girlsolo]

Magnus looks pale, not as happy as she should for someone who just married the best guy in the universe. She's looked pale all day. Kate's worried. So she's really glad when Coraline and Hiccup finally get lost and Magnus wants to talk to her.

"Yeah, Magnus. Of course." Her eyes are dark with her concern and it's almost enough to that Kate's reaching to put a hand on her arm. She pulls her hand back at the last second, but she's not convinced she's not going to be reaching for her again. "What's up?"

[lastof_five]

"John's here on the island."

It was short and succinct but there was really nothing to do but be out with it, especially since it affected Kate and she presumed Kate would be telling Declan as soon as was feasible.

"He arrived when the snow came, I think, because he thought he'd ended up in London and was beating down my door for me to let him in."

[girlsolo]

Kate blinks. Then swears. Viciously. For once, she doesn't bother to control her tongue around Magnus.

"The door better be all he beat or he won't survive December." It's not even a threat. Kate doesn't care if she spends the rest of her island life in jail. If Druitt laid a finger on Magnus or god on Will who can barely defend himself, she will kill him.

[lastof_five]

"He didn't hurt me, Kate," Helen promised. "He was a perfect gentleman, I swear. As much of a perfect gentleman as John can ever be, anyway. It's hard to trust him any longer due to...obvious reasons."

She was still very shaken up about it, though, because knowing John on the island meant being guarded and watching her steps.

[girlsolo]

"He's not going to hurt you. Or Will." It was her job to keep them safe. Here. At home. Wherever. In a backwards sort of way, it felt good to know what she needed to be doing. To have a reason for all the training she'd been doing. Declan might be glad to have something useful to do too.

She frowned, though, at what Magnus was saying. Scowled. She wanted to comfort Magnus but she was a lot better at kicking ass than kissing it better.

"The island can't make him not crazy, doc. It just makes him human. Easier to track and harder for him to get away." There's the whole thing with the parasite, but Kate's not sure how much she trusts that. She's never been sure.

[lastof_five]

"John told me an Abnormal was what made him want to kill. That the Abnormal was what made him hurt me the way he did."

For a significant portion of her adult life, Helen lived somewhat in fear of John or at least the specter of John. It wasn't until she thought he was dead and gone that she'd ever considered carrying Ashley and to have him show back up had shaken her. Here on the island, she'd always felt safer and freer than she had back home and John here. Well.

"Is it true, Kate? What he told me?"

[girlsolo]

It's been a long time since Kate lied to Magnus. Right this minute, she's looking her straight in the eye. She could lie cold and protect them. She doesn't owe Druitt anything. He killed innocent Abnormals in her home. On her watch.

She lifts her chin and tells the truth because Will and Magnus trust her. "Yes and no. There was an energy parasite trapped in him. He said that he felt like his old self when he was free of it. You told him that he'd been controlling it, limiting the damage it could do. He took it back on himself." That had been the only time Kate had ever considered there might be a decent person in there.

"Maybe that thing was what made him violent. But he picked who he killed. Even without it..." Kate shakes her head. "You weren't sure. Will definitely wasn't sure. I don't trust him."

[lastof_five]

"I wanted desperately for it to be true, Kate. I'm past being in love with him, I know that, but he's still someone I've known for over a century and we were once friends. It would be like losing Nikola, to lose him again, and I don't think I could bear it."

Helen rubbed the back of her neck, oddly tense. "I certainly don't want him hurting anyone, though, and I feel like it's my responsibility to keep him in check."

[girlsolo]

Kate's tense too and rolls her head on her shoulders, trying to loosen the sudden stiffness. She's a con and tries to think like a con. Druitt conned them all, even Watson for a long fucking time

[lastof_five]

Helen shivered a bit. Sometimes she forgot that Kate was a contract killer for the Cabal before coming to work for her because it was so long ago and Kate had become such a close, trusted friend and team member. It was a world away, that other Kate.

"He told me he still loved me, you know. I'm not entirely sure what to do with that. Nor am I sure what to do with the fact that he sent me flowers, either."

[girlsolo]

There it is. That look in Magnus's eyes. Like she just remembered who Kate is. She wants to tell her it's okay. She's not that person anymore. And she's not. Except...she is. She's killed more people and Abnormals working for Magnus, protecting the good people, doing what they had to do, than she ever did before Magnus. They just...they deserved it.

Kate's not a white hat and she knows it. Gray, on the best of days. She's trying to balance the scales toward dove instead of charcoal.

She steps closer to Magnus and does put a hand on her arm. "Which Kate are you asking, Magnus? The one you hired because she's good at thinking like bad guys, or the one you tell your secrets to, who's just working out this whole love thing?"

[lastof_five]

"I'm asking my Kate, who is both of those things," Helen said finally, taking the hand on her arm as invitation to pull her into a hug. "I should be over it, I know I should, and I love Will so much but I can't lie and say I feel nothing for John Druitt. I want him to be his old self again."

Then, softer. "I missed him, Kate."

[girlsolo]

Just like every time Magnus gets affectionate with her, Kate kind of freezes first. Then there's the instinct to bolt from being touched. She crams that down and makes the tension bleed away. Protecting Magnus and Will means not shoving them away when they need her. That's the lie she's going with right now because she's not going to think about all the other stuff. All of her shit.

"I know." Kate's not going to pretend she gets it. She doesn't. If Druitt had been her ex, he'd be dead. She rubs a hand against Magnus's back, awkward but trying.

"But even if he's not going to hurt anyone physically, he's going to hurt Will and try to fu--uh, mess with you guys. He's never going to let you go. So you have to be smart, Magnus. You have to protect yourself and Will." And Kate, but she didn't really expect that kind of loyalty. "Use it. Make him earn your friendship and your forgiveness. But don't give it. Not until you're sure. You can't let him hurt you again. As much as you want to trust him, you just can't."

[lastof_five]

"I won't let him come between me and Will, Kate. I would never do that. Will is...Will is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. I would be a fool to throw that away for John. Especially since Will has healed a lot of the damage that John did to me."

Kate's words about using John's affection for her own purposes made sense even if Helen didn't much like it.

"I will need your help, you know."

[girlsolo]

Magnus might not let Druitt come between her and Will but Kate doesn't trust Druitt, even if he's "good" for half a heartbeat. He's obsessed with Magnus and he's never going to stop. He's a thousand times worse than Tesla.

"Just make sure he knows that, Magnus." Kate takes a step back so she can look up at her. The height difference is seriously awkward when Kate's trying to be authoritative. "Don't give him any room to hope. He'll twist anything you say. Anything you think. Any look you give him. Any action. And he'll cram it right in Will's face." Please don't ask me how I know that. Don't make me remind you that I'm as good at that as he is."As for me, that's a no-brainer. You ask, you get." Her mouth twists with a furious thought. "You're not going to ask me not to tell anyone, are you? Because I can't." Coraline, Cassie, Cissie, Kate... "I...kind of have people of my own here." Did Magnus even know? She didn't think Declan did, or Will, how many people Kate checked in on without them knowing. How many people she'd promised

[lastof_five]

"Samantha Carter will need to be warned sooner rather than later," Helen said stiffly. "She keeps her hair the way I used to and she's starting to show. Her husband should be able to handle things, though, if he's made aware."

Helen swallowed and rolled her neck to relieve tension again. "Do not let Coraline seek John out."