8th Spell [Accidental Voice] (After all of the rescues)

[lastdragonlord]

[The first sort of sound to filter through the PCD is a horrified, male scream. There, that ought to get everyone's attention, right? Followed by a muted, sniffling sound that transitions slowly into heaving sobs that eventually translate into words.]

Oh n-no, oh no. No, no, no, no. Sorry - 'm so sorry. Don't want to, didn't...

[His mutterings

Comments

[Voice]

[chaserprongs]

Well, someone's back to normal.

[No, he does not sound happy. Sirius' condition is not what he wants it to be, Merlin.]

[Voice]

[lastdragonlord]

[Merlin sounds about a half a step away from crying again as he speaks.]

I'm so s-sorr-ry, James, I can't.. [A hiccup.] -gin to tel--- [And then his words lose all form completely.]

[Voice]

[chaserprongs]

You beat the crap out of Padfoot.

[Who is his best friend and practically his brother. He sounds bothered by the fact that Merlin is crying, but he's severely upset that Sirius is injured because of him. Again.]

[Voice]

[lastdragonlord]

I kn-know and I c-c-can't... [More unintelligible noises. He's trying to get a hold of himself, James, but it's also very clear that you're disappointed in him and he can't deal with that.

Finally, his side goes mostly quiet for a moment, followed by slow, measured, even breaths.]

I understand if you h-hate me, James.

[Voice]

[chaserprongs]

[Have a long sigh.]

Stop crying, mate, you're going to hyperventilate and I'm not coming down there to bring you to Unohana if you pass out.

[Voice]

[lastdragonlord]

Don't want... to co- [He stops, buries his head in his knees, though James can't see, and concentrates just on breathing.

Finally...]

You shouldn't.

[Voice]

[chaserprongs]

[He's quiet for a long moment. When he says something, it's with concern.]

I can't blame you for what the Animus did.

But you might want to apologize to Sirius.

[Voice]

[lastdragonlord]

I-I will! Of course I will!

[Voice]

[chaserprongs]

Good.

Now stop crying like a little girl and suck it up. Happens to the best of us. That's what this place does to you.

[Voice]

[lastdragonlord]

[That startles a weak, watery chuckle from Merlin.]

Y-you sound just like Arthur.

Guys can cry too, you know. It's nothing to be ashamed about.

[Voice]

[chaserprongs]

Who said I'm ashamed of it?

[Though you'll never catch James crying, not publicly, anyway. He's the leader, the central force of their little group. He can handle the problems. He doesn't add to them.]

But you've got nothing to cry over.

[Voice]

[lastdragonlord]

I guess that's where we disagree. But I'll try, James.

[Voice/Private]

[chaserprongs]

[Sigh.]

The Animus are going to pull things like this. Again, and again, and again, and the only thing you can do is pray that it doesn't affect you as badly as you think it might. There's no preparing for it, there's no guarding yourself against it. We're at their mercy, here.

[He sounds irate about this, truly angry at the Animus for harming his best friends, but there's also a realistic sense of defeat in his tone. There is truly nothing they can do.]

If you're going to act like this every time something terrible happens because of them, Merlin, you're just letting them win. So pull yourself together and deal with it. People got hurt. Don't let them get hurt anymore by seeing you like this.

[Voice/Private]

[lastdragonlord]

Oh-okay James. I'll try, but that's the best that I can offer.

Can you trust that I'll work on it? And that, even if I can't always stop myself from crying every now and then, I won't blame myself unless it's absolutely of my own doing?

[Voice/Private]

[chaserprongs]

Trying is all anyone can do in this place, right?

[He'll say no more on the subject. James has the capacity to be mature and responsible. He just rarely shows it.]

[Voice/Private]

[lastdragonlord]

Yep!