[Locked to Robin]

[lastchancefor]

[The handwriting is childish and awkward. Several words are crossed out because she screwed up the writing.]

[The entry is backdated to yesterday.]

Will you take me to church?

Comments

[with_coffee]

Yeah, of course.

If that's what you want.

you...

You believe in God?

[lastchancefor]

Of course.

[with_coffee]

It just seems strange with everything that happened to you that you'd still

Okay.

Have any denomination preference?

[lastchancefor]

I don't--

Never mind.

Catholic.

[with_coffee]

I'll meet you in the basement lobby in an hour.

[lastchancefor]

Jo is pacing awkwardly in the lobby. She's early. It's been far too long since she's been to church, and she guilts about it. But if she's going to be stuck in one place, she should start going again.

Normally, you couldn't catch her dead in a dress, but for church, she feels the need to dress up. She has one, a plain black thing that goes all the way down to her feet, and she's wearing a black long sleeved shirt under it that's just not quite the same shade of black, but the dress itself it short sleeved. One has to get by with what they have.

She's chewing on her thumb as she paces, waiting for Robin. She feels like she shouldn't've asked him for anything, but at the same time, she's afraid that if she hadn't asked for anything, he'd worry or be upset.

[with_coffee]

Robin arrives in the lobby exactly on time. He likes to pretend that he has a busy life even when he doesn't or he's busy doing things that aren't so important to do at any given moment. He did not expect to see Jo in a dress.

It takes him off guard for a moment. Of course, her asking for him to take her to a church to begin with.

"...ready to go," he asks when he gets over the shock of seeing her in a dress.

He hadn't realized that she'd even owned one.

[lastchancefor]

Jo pauses, turning on her heel, staring at Robin for a long moment before dropping her hand from her mouth. She nods, running her fingers through her hair awkwardly. Her red roots are starting to show, but she hasn't looked in a mirror recently enough to notice. Compared to how she normally dresses, she looks rather well put together. But compared to anyone else, she looks a mess.

Not that she cares.

"Ready," she agrees, fumbling with her clothes, having temporarily forgotten she doesn't have pockets. She's so used to wearing a jacket with anything and everything. So she tugs on the sleeves of her shirt instead, pulling them up past her wrists.

[with_coffee]

Robin gestures toward the elevator, and then walks over pressing the button and walking into the elevator. Once the doors close on them, he glances at her, and then keeps his gaze forward.

"You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but I was just curious... why did you want to go to a church?"

[lastchancefor]

Jo follows him into the elevator, still tugging on her sleeves. She goes over to a corner, pressing herself into it, like she can mold herself against it.

His question confuses her for a moment. She needs a reason to want to go to church? It's Sunday. She should be going to church, right? If she's going to be settled into one place, she doesn't have an excuse. Not that her inability to get to church while homeless should be an excuse either. She's put it off far too long.

"Because it's Sunday?" she asks him, giving him a puzzled look.

[with_coffee]

Robin stares at her when she answers him.

"That's not a-"

He presses his hand against his face. The elevator doors open, again, but before he walks out he continues on through.

"I don't understand. How do you still believe in God when you're an angel who obviously has never spoken or been sent by any god whatsoever? How does it make any sense?"

So he had promised himself that he wasn't going to question another person's belief. For all he knows, religion gives her comfort, and it's not nice of him to do so, but Robin isn't the king of nice.

Robin steps out of the elevator, fixing his suit.

[lastchancefor]

«I do not attempt to understand those things bigger than myself,» Jo murmurs in Spanish, shaking her head slowly. She has far less trouble with the word angel than she does with the fact that a loving god has put her through such trials and tribulations. Angel is the word of men; it's all the words of men. It's a concept so new to her, that she can't even start to put it in the frame of her religious structure.

But what's even more disconcerting to Jo is the idea that someone doesn't believe in God. It's not even something that's ever crossed her mind. The blind faith of a child. As much of a child as Jo can ever be.

"Is it supposed to make sense?" she asks, following him out of the elevator. "I don't understand."

[with_coffee]

"I don't-"

Robin rubs his hand over his face, and then keeps walking without looking back at her even once.

"I don't understand. How can you believe in God? After everything that's happened to you? How can you believe that anyone's still up there controlling it all?"

[lastchancefor]

"What else would it be?" Jo asks Robin. She's settled on three steps behind him, a comfortable place for her. When they step outside, she immediately takes in her surroundings, paranoia setting in for a clear moment before she's able to move on. She shouldn't have any reason to believe she's being followed anymore. She's so far north. But it's hard for her not to read something into the episode at the bus station.

And even if La eMe isn't following her, considering what she-- what she-- She can taste bile in the back of her throat as she remembers the killing spree she went on and she stops walking for a moment, throwing up by the curb, tears coming to her eyes.

[with_coffee]

"It would be a world where there's no one is in control. Everything just... happened. It's all an accident. No one's in control. People make decisions, and in the grand scheme of the universe, it means absolutely nothing."

Robin continues walking. He can sense her paranoia even though he's not looking back at her. It's hard to say how he can tell, but he can.

[lastchancefor]

Jo just stands at the curb, listening to him walk away. She doesn't understand. It's not something she's ever thought of before. The idea of no one being in control.

She coughs, wiping the vomit from her face, shaking slightly. Jo doesn't want to believe her choices don't mean anything. She doesn't want to believe there's no God, even though she can't imagine why he would put her through all of this. She can't imagine-- She can't imagine why Robin is telling her this.

Being told she's an angel? She can handle that. But when he throws this at her, puts it into perspective...

"But... then why?" she mumbles, her vision clouding with tears. She is already fragile enough.

She doesn't like to hear that everything she's done and tried to be didn't mean anything.