5 things meme, part i - iii
These were all written for gullwatch:
5 things Deni and Annie did after they thought everyone was asleep.
1. Redecorated Lizzie's locker: Unalphabetised her books, and swapped the 26 pictures of men in various states of undress for pictures of nuns. And ravaging carnivorous dinosaurs. (Because there're only so many nuns you can look at before getting nervous.)
2. Drank helium from the balloons strung up around the school, after the fundraising carnival. They spent the next hour and a half imitating Donald Duck, and had just started on their Josh impersonations when Lili had walked in on them. She didn't speak to either of them for the next two days, which they both regarded as a bonus, anyway.
3. Sat in the middle of the G, with only the fairy lights keeping them from being in total darkness. Annie told Deni that secretly, he was afraid of dying alone. Deni told Annie that she already knew.
4. Did their homework. Detention only meant less time to do other more interesting and fulfilling things. And besides, doing it in the day like normal people would only ruin their troublemaker, happy-go-lucky street cred.
5. Reordered the letters on the cafeteria menu , and giggled like small children. (Secretly, they're four years old on the inside.) SPAGHETTI BOLOGNAISE WITH VEGETARIAN SALAD became SABOTAGE HOT AVANT-GARDE WHALE SITPSIIELGNI.
5 times Roque was hit on by a Bayern teammate, and how he responded.
1. When Claudio cornered him during a shower, while Roque still had a bar of soap in his hand. Claudio had ground his hips against Roque's, and the bar of soap had (conveniently) slipped and slid along the tiles. His face flushed, Roque bent to pick it up, and told him he wasn't sleeping with anyone whose ponytail looked like that.
2. When Lucio showed up at his door, reeking of alcohol. Roque told the Brazilian gently that he really didn't strike him as the gay type. He took him back to his hotel room and put him to bed, and hoped Lucio wouldn't remember any of this the next day.
3. When Micha had cast an appreciative eye on his behind when he bent over to pick his jeans out of his bag, and had told him his black, silk Armani boxers made his bum look tasty. Roque struggled to keep his voice even as he thanked him for the compliment. He couldn't risk the wrath of a certain Werder Bremen midfielder, even though it meant Micha being left frustrated.
4. When Oliver had whispered something lewd and crass in his ear after a game, with a naughty, hoarse giggle. Roque had screamed, grabbed his kitbag, and run. He was almost certain he got sympathising looks from Bastian and Philipp on the way out.
5. When Martin had taken him out for dinner the day after Paraguay was officially out of the World Cup. For those few hours he'd felt less guilty, less like he had let an entire country down. They'd been walking after dinner - neither of them knew where to - when Martin had stopped dead in his tracks and run a hand over Roque's cheek. He shivered at the touch - his fingertips were like ice - before grabbing his hand and kissing him.
5 times Philipp was secretly glad he was short.
1. During photocalls. He was always in the front row - which meant that he didn't have to contend with the jostling and the pinching that went on out of view of the camera lens as they tried to make one another burst out laughing or fall off the benches as the photos were being taken.
2. When Bayern went to Japan, and all the other players complained about that the doorways and ceilings were built for Philipp-sized dwarves. He just bore their teasing, but after Lucio had banged his head getting off the bus for the third time, he had allowed himself a little giggle.
3. Whenever he watched Per trying to get into a chair. There was this one time, right, where they were in their hotel lobby waiting for Klinsi to come back with their keys. Philipp just jumped into the first seat he saw, while Per sized up all the armchairs with a slightly wary look. He tried not to laugh as Per couldn't fit into the first armchair he tried - it was too short, his legs were too long, his shoulders were hunched. Per finally gave up, and used their mound of bags in a corner as a beanbag. Sometimes it paid to be short.
4. When he hugs Timo. He's the perfect height to get the best of Timo's wide chest. It's safe and comfortable, and one of the most familiar things he knows. Being any taller would just ruin it.
5. When he plays against taller-than-average players. Philipp derives insane amounts of satisfaction from out-jumping them, though he would never admit that to anyone.
5 times John Arne Riise thought Luis was, well, a bit girly.
1. Every single bloody time the Spaniard opens his mouth. He speaks as fast as a girl, he says things only a girl would say ("John, these jeans! They're too tight on my butt, aren't they?"), sometimes he even sounds like a girl. No 28-year-old has a voice that's so... unbroken, and clean. (Never mind the fact that this voice is exactly what John listens out for at training, and on the pitch. Ignore the fact, also, that this voice is probably the only voice on the Liverpool team that can make John do exactly what it wants him to.)
2. Luis' inability to hold any hard liquor. Honestly.
3. Luis got a monster of a pimple one morning, nearly knocked himself out trying to squeeze it off. He called in sick - "sorry Rafa, I think it might have been something I ate!" - but Rafa knew what he was up to. Everyone did, by now. After having a small laugh about it (the boys had managed to scrape together a betting pool, on why Luis refused to come in to training - Xabi had declared his faith in Luis and put his money on him being legitimately unwell, while Carra had 50 quid on Luis having cut himself shaving) Rafa sent John to drag him out.
John walked into Luis' bathroom to find himself orchestrating a platoon of small, round plasters, trying to cover up the zit. Luis - who hadn't heard John let himself in - had shrieked and jumped into the tub, nearly ripping the shower curtain in his hurry to draw it.
Half an hour later, Luis tried to hide behind John as they walked onto the pitch. He never noticed Pepe collect a wad of notes from Stevie, but he did hear Pepe announce that he was buying Luis a whole bath of facial cleanser with the money he'd just won.
4. After Luis got his hair cut, he needed five different people to tell him it looked good before he even dared show up at training.
5. Luis' fishwife hand movements. Enough said. John felt like grabbing the flapping, offensive hand everytime Luis did it, or telling him that doing things like that would only make him look like a sissy. (Or at least, more of a sissy than he already was.)
5 things Stevie wouldn't change about Xabi.
1. His frustrating inability to get angry. Stevie has lost count of the number of times he has tried taking his frustrations out on Xabi. Sometimes, all he wanted was a human reaction, a sign that Xabi could lose control of himself, like a normal person.
One night, when he'd drunk and thought too much, Stevie realised Xabi was like his punching bag - taking everything he had to throw at him, and willing to take more. He never pushed back, he never told Stevie off for acting like a child. If he was Xabi, he would've left a long time ago.
2. Xabi's girly bags. Sometimes they make Stevie feel like crying. Everytime he jokes to Xabi about getting himself some proper bags, he's a bit worried that he might actually listen to him.
3. Xabi's ability to speak with his body, and not have to say a word. It's musical to Stevie. He's watched him openly, especially when he first came to Liverpool. His accent was impossible to make out, but --
It's in the hands. Definitely the hands. His wrists are slim, his fingers nothing spectacular, but when they start moving Stevie finds it hard not to watch. The curve of his thumbs, rubbing against his forefingers for emphasis. Those same hands that grab Stevie's chin firmly, when he's being moody and unreasonable again, that would delicately fix and turn down and smoothen Stevie's collar in the tunnel - it was almost as if he was sculpting something. Stevie knew bug-all about art, but he knew whatever Xabi did with his hands was in a class of its own.
4. His hair. Even though it looks horrible most of the time.
5. The way Xabi commands attention on the pitch. The way everyone looks for Xabi for a pass, or waits for him to tell them where to go and what to do. The moment he steps onto the pitch he changes - his shoulders become that much straighter, his eyes grow slightly foreign - and even Stevie would feel his eyes search Xabi out, because it is only natural to want to watch Xabi.
Sure, Stevie is supposed to be in charge. But watching the way Xabi plays, the way he ropes everyone in and pulls the strings and imposes himself on the game - it is hard not to be in awe of this.
5 things Deni and Annie did after they thought everyone was asleep.
1. Redecorated Lizzie's locker: Unalphabetised her books, and swapped the 26 pictures of men in various states of undress for pictures of nuns. And ravaging carnivorous dinosaurs. (Because there're only so many nuns you can look at before getting nervous.)
2. Drank helium from the balloons strung up around the school, after the fundraising carnival. They spent the next hour and a half imitating Donald Duck, and had just started on their Josh impersonations when Lili had walked in on them. She didn't speak to either of them for the next two days, which they both regarded as a bonus, anyway.
3. Sat in the middle of the G, with only the fairy lights keeping them from being in total darkness. Annie told Deni that secretly, he was afraid of dying alone. Deni told Annie that she already knew.
4. Did their homework. Detention only meant less time to do other more interesting and fulfilling things. And besides, doing it in the day like normal people would only ruin their troublemaker, happy-go-lucky street cred.
5. Reordered the letters on the cafeteria menu , and giggled like small children. (Secretly, they're four years old on the inside.) SPAGHETTI BOLOGNAISE WITH VEGETARIAN SALAD became SABOTAGE HOT AVANT-GARDE WHALE SITPSIIELGNI.
5 times Roque was hit on by a Bayern teammate, and how he responded.
1. When Claudio cornered him during a shower, while Roque still had a bar of soap in his hand. Claudio had ground his hips against Roque's, and the bar of soap had (conveniently) slipped and slid along the tiles. His face flushed, Roque bent to pick it up, and told him he wasn't sleeping with anyone whose ponytail looked like that.
2. When Lucio showed up at his door, reeking of alcohol. Roque told the Brazilian gently that he really didn't strike him as the gay type. He took him back to his hotel room and put him to bed, and hoped Lucio wouldn't remember any of this the next day.
3. When Micha had cast an appreciative eye on his behind when he bent over to pick his jeans out of his bag, and had told him his black, silk Armani boxers made his bum look tasty. Roque struggled to keep his voice even as he thanked him for the compliment. He couldn't risk the wrath of a certain Werder Bremen midfielder, even though it meant Micha being left frustrated.
4. When Oliver had whispered something lewd and crass in his ear after a game, with a naughty, hoarse giggle. Roque had screamed, grabbed his kitbag, and run. He was almost certain he got sympathising looks from Bastian and Philipp on the way out.
5. When Martin had taken him out for dinner the day after Paraguay was officially out of the World Cup. For those few hours he'd felt less guilty, less like he had let an entire country down. They'd been walking after dinner - neither of them knew where to - when Martin had stopped dead in his tracks and run a hand over Roque's cheek. He shivered at the touch - his fingertips were like ice - before grabbing his hand and kissing him.
5 times Philipp was secretly glad he was short.
1. During photocalls. He was always in the front row - which meant that he didn't have to contend with the jostling and the pinching that went on out of view of the camera lens as they tried to make one another burst out laughing or fall off the benches as the photos were being taken.
2. When Bayern went to Japan, and all the other players complained about that the doorways and ceilings were built for Philipp-sized dwarves. He just bore their teasing, but after Lucio had banged his head getting off the bus for the third time, he had allowed himself a little giggle.
3. Whenever he watched Per trying to get into a chair. There was this one time, right, where they were in their hotel lobby waiting for Klinsi to come back with their keys. Philipp just jumped into the first seat he saw, while Per sized up all the armchairs with a slightly wary look. He tried not to laugh as Per couldn't fit into the first armchair he tried - it was too short, his legs were too long, his shoulders were hunched. Per finally gave up, and used their mound of bags in a corner as a beanbag. Sometimes it paid to be short.
4. When he hugs Timo. He's the perfect height to get the best of Timo's wide chest. It's safe and comfortable, and one of the most familiar things he knows. Being any taller would just ruin it.
5. When he plays against taller-than-average players. Philipp derives insane amounts of satisfaction from out-jumping them, though he would never admit that to anyone.
5 times John Arne Riise thought Luis was, well, a bit girly.
1. Every single bloody time the Spaniard opens his mouth. He speaks as fast as a girl, he says things only a girl would say ("John, these jeans! They're too tight on my butt, aren't they?"), sometimes he even sounds like a girl. No 28-year-old has a voice that's so... unbroken, and clean. (Never mind the fact that this voice is exactly what John listens out for at training, and on the pitch. Ignore the fact, also, that this voice is probably the only voice on the Liverpool team that can make John do exactly what it wants him to.)
2. Luis' inability to hold any hard liquor. Honestly.
3. Luis got a monster of a pimple one morning, nearly knocked himself out trying to squeeze it off. He called in sick - "sorry Rafa, I think it might have been something I ate!" - but Rafa knew what he was up to. Everyone did, by now. After having a small laugh about it (the boys had managed to scrape together a betting pool, on why Luis refused to come in to training - Xabi had declared his faith in Luis and put his money on him being legitimately unwell, while Carra had 50 quid on Luis having cut himself shaving) Rafa sent John to drag him out.
John walked into Luis' bathroom to find himself orchestrating a platoon of small, round plasters, trying to cover up the zit. Luis - who hadn't heard John let himself in - had shrieked and jumped into the tub, nearly ripping the shower curtain in his hurry to draw it.
Half an hour later, Luis tried to hide behind John as they walked onto the pitch. He never noticed Pepe collect a wad of notes from Stevie, but he did hear Pepe announce that he was buying Luis a whole bath of facial cleanser with the money he'd just won.
4. After Luis got his hair cut, he needed five different people to tell him it looked good before he even dared show up at training.
5. Luis' fishwife hand movements. Enough said. John felt like grabbing the flapping, offensive hand everytime Luis did it, or telling him that doing things like that would only make him look like a sissy. (Or at least, more of a sissy than he already was.)
5 things Stevie wouldn't change about Xabi.
1. His frustrating inability to get angry. Stevie has lost count of the number of times he has tried taking his frustrations out on Xabi. Sometimes, all he wanted was a human reaction, a sign that Xabi could lose control of himself, like a normal person.
One night, when he'd drunk and thought too much, Stevie realised Xabi was like his punching bag - taking everything he had to throw at him, and willing to take more. He never pushed back, he never told Stevie off for acting like a child. If he was Xabi, he would've left a long time ago.
2. Xabi's girly bags. Sometimes they make Stevie feel like crying. Everytime he jokes to Xabi about getting himself some proper bags, he's a bit worried that he might actually listen to him.
3. Xabi's ability to speak with his body, and not have to say a word. It's musical to Stevie. He's watched him openly, especially when he first came to Liverpool. His accent was impossible to make out, but --
It's in the hands. Definitely the hands. His wrists are slim, his fingers nothing spectacular, but when they start moving Stevie finds it hard not to watch. The curve of his thumbs, rubbing against his forefingers for emphasis. Those same hands that grab Stevie's chin firmly, when he's being moody and unreasonable again, that would delicately fix and turn down and smoothen Stevie's collar in the tunnel - it was almost as if he was sculpting something. Stevie knew bug-all about art, but he knew whatever Xabi did with his hands was in a class of its own.
4. His hair. Even though it looks horrible most of the time.
5. The way Xabi commands attention on the pitch. The way everyone looks for Xabi for a pass, or waits for him to tell them where to go and what to do. The moment he steps onto the pitch he changes - his shoulders become that much straighter, his eyes grow slightly foreign - and even Stevie would feel his eyes search Xabi out, because it is only natural to want to watch Xabi.
Sure, Stevie is supposed to be in charge. But watching the way Xabi plays, the way he ropes everyone in and pulls the strings and imposes himself on the game - it is hard not to be in awe of this.