(no subject)
hmm just a couple days back before my cold arived
I got home around 6;30 got told by my gramma to call me then bf ryan...
i did hes like about time ur home said he may come see me i asked how his date go with the girl on the net
lately all he talked about was some dave guy....
then he comes bangs on my door me playing my new evanescence cd so loud....
the night b4 thowe we had a fight more him on the darn computer as allwase
being he wont call me
yay netness
hmm anyway he comes in layed on bed says hes tired hmm allwase tired for me
so musics on he puts his cd in my lab top then we cuddle lay there then he go on how he cheated on me mon day with a girl he once well were dateing got naked with hermarey or something like that as in the girl in hairy potter.......he sleeped with her once liekd her then after say 30 mins or more said it was a test to see of he dumped me he acted all happy we talk how about the games he do how i cant tell whats the truth
then he cuddle me and its just odd trying to rember all of it then he and i were still odd hes like im not lieing b4 i was talking how its not funny he said i looked happy i was nume holding in tears and then hes like dont cry
he lay in bed i sing after we go on about things like how ryan dint like me telling him how i feel my bad days my so called issues.. then he yelled im not ur fucking theripeist then i sing music he went to the bath room then lay then he got up i thought he was going then he pined me against my closet we started makeing out he kissed me as takeing off my top unbuttoning each button at a time....me taking off his top then my pANTS......his belt then his pants then he kisses me we touch each olther as are lips touch and tounges dance to one anolther he pushes me on the bed he goes ontop of me he ........yea then after that sorth mins he got dressed left.......i followed i wasnet going to wanted to missed him and it seemd he wanted me too...only i kinda see why now
he said he was playing games becuse he doesnt know if he loves me as he once did
and talked about friday how i wont see him its guys night out then he talked about how some guys girl is leting him go and shes a bitch over and over im like why hes like becuse shes hot and he donest know how to treat her ryan says........i know how to treat her as he once did b4 this night talking how he may ask the coffe girl out o.o....how he pulled so much well were dateing but those rare nice ryan moments the guy i fell for sliped away 4 ever .....on net msn when he got home aftet the bus came right when he said that i burst out crying walking home braless from what ryan and i did......haveing sex he riped me and dint seem to care he forgot i had an abort 2 weeks b4.....no sex for sevral weeks and booom fuck me and leave then he said i think its over......said hes say that he sleeped wit h not a giRL A GUY then that he never loved me then that he wanted to have nothing to do with me on my space i left messaeds as why?
he delted me....he called me the next couple days drunk as can be i dint even know whoem it was till my gramma said ryan its ryan he was asking 4 me o.o hes like i looooooove u im sorry i sleeped with dave over andover and that hes so drunk then hanged up...i called back he was singing cindy turns out he had a nightstand wit h3 girls andkeepd saying he sleeped wit hdave but wanted me to know all this hmmmm i cryed alot been sick over him just he said last weekend why did i trowe us all away i cut ...ok he use to too he hated me opeing up so i shut up then he cut and go emo i cut becuse of all the pain he was makeing me feel for all the shit he pull
and how i feel with the depression creeping up i made a promise i never cut only 4 us each olther r blood drinking r time alone.. then he snaped and went to leave but i went to keep makeing him stay we started geting physical no not sex he trewe me on the wall the floor i keepd tryng to make him stay with me i said i dont care hit me just dont leave me ...he had me on the floor his body against mine one point cokeing me..... then i bite him kicked him in the balls ...we keeped doing this crap for a while he left i cut after a while he came back trewe water in my face started cuting till blood poured down his arm he sleepd over he cuddled me we wacthed a movie he wanted me go back to his place first we made dinner at my grammas taco he went behind me showed me how to cut food lol we hanged out made out wacthed tv movies dry humped <.> and stuff then i left and then came weds the fight on net thurs the breakup on msn but he never could say it i have t osee what was happening hes like i said it at the bus stop no he dint things seemd down hill for a while we use to have fights it could be the end then were good then last fri it all went then we cuddle he said he loved me like why? play love hate loved hate then thurs and now its forever gone
im moveing on dont know it could of been forever? some thing real great we fealt something we never fealt b4 but then it turned to ashes like all i knew and loved it just crashed and he turned and for ever changed and now things will never be the same i shall never look at him the same with a disguest kinda now.....defienlty a mistrust.......a misloved just a lust i guess..one day shall we know forknow its in his hands he wrote .....
I got home around 6;30 got told by my gramma to call me then bf ryan...
i did hes like about time ur home said he may come see me i asked how his date go with the girl on the net
lately all he talked about was some dave guy....
then he comes bangs on my door me playing my new evanescence cd so loud....
the night b4 thowe we had a fight more him on the darn computer as allwase
being he wont call me
yay netness
hmm anyway he comes in layed on bed says hes tired hmm allwase tired for me
so musics on he puts his cd in my lab top then we cuddle lay there then he go on how he cheated on me mon day with a girl he once well were dateing got naked with hermarey or something like that as in the girl in hairy potter.......he sleeped with her once liekd her then after say 30 mins or more said it was a test to see of he dumped me he acted all happy we talk how about the games he do how i cant tell whats the truth
then he cuddle me and its just odd trying to rember all of it then he and i were still odd hes like im not lieing b4 i was talking how its not funny he said i looked happy i was nume holding in tears and then hes like dont cry
he lay in bed i sing after we go on about things like how ryan dint like me telling him how i feel my bad days my so called issues.. then he yelled im not ur fucking theripeist then i sing music he went to the bath room then lay then he got up i thought he was going then he pined me against my closet we started makeing out he kissed me as takeing off my top unbuttoning each button at a time....me taking off his top then my pANTS......his belt then his pants then he kisses me we touch each olther as are lips touch and tounges dance to one anolther he pushes me on the bed he goes ontop of me he ........yea then after that sorth mins he got dressed left.......i followed i wasnet going to wanted to missed him and it seemd he wanted me too...only i kinda see why now
he said he was playing games becuse he doesnt know if he loves me as he once did
and talked about friday how i wont see him its guys night out then he talked about how some guys girl is leting him go and shes a bitch over and over im like why hes like becuse shes hot and he donest know how to treat her ryan says........i know how to treat her as he once did b4 this night talking how he may ask the coffe girl out o.o....how he pulled so much well were dateing but those rare nice ryan moments the guy i fell for sliped away 4 ever .....on net msn when he got home aftet the bus came right when he said that i burst out crying walking home braless from what ryan and i did......haveing sex he riped me and dint seem to care he forgot i had an abort 2 weeks b4.....no sex for sevral weeks and booom fuck me and leave then he said i think its over......said hes say that he sleeped wit h not a giRL A GUY then that he never loved me then that he wanted to have nothing to do with me on my space i left messaeds as why?
he delted me....he called me the next couple days drunk as can be i dint even know whoem it was till my gramma said ryan its ryan he was asking 4 me o.o hes like i looooooove u im sorry i sleeped with dave over andover and that hes so drunk then hanged up...i called back he was singing cindy turns out he had a nightstand wit h3 girls andkeepd saying he sleeped wit hdave but wanted me to know all this hmmmm i cryed alot been sick over him just he said last weekend why did i trowe us all away i cut ...ok he use to too he hated me opeing up so i shut up then he cut and go emo i cut becuse of all the pain he was makeing me feel for all the shit he pull
and how i feel with the depression creeping up i made a promise i never cut only 4 us each olther r blood drinking r time alone.. then he snaped and went to leave but i went to keep makeing him stay we started geting physical no not sex he trewe me on the wall the floor i keepd tryng to make him stay with me i said i dont care hit me just dont leave me ...he had me on the floor his body against mine one point cokeing me..... then i bite him kicked him in the balls ...we keeped doing this crap for a while he left i cut after a while he came back trewe water in my face started cuting till blood poured down his arm he sleepd over he cuddled me we wacthed a movie he wanted me go back to his place first we made dinner at my grammas taco he went behind me showed me how to cut food lol we hanged out made out wacthed tv movies dry humped <.> and stuff then i left and then came weds the fight on net thurs the breakup on msn but he never could say it i have t osee what was happening hes like i said it at the bus stop no he dint things seemd down hill for a while we use to have fights it could be the end then were good then last fri it all went then we cuddle he said he loved me like why? play love hate loved hate then thurs and now its forever gone
im moveing on dont know it could of been forever? some thing real great we fealt something we never fealt b4 but then it turned to ashes like all i knew and loved it just crashed and he turned and for ever changed and now things will never be the same i shall never look at him the same with a disguest kinda now.....defienlty a mistrust.......a misloved just a lust i guess..one day shall we know forknow its in his hands he wrote .....