(no subject)
wow, so much has happened in the last week. i'll never be able to write about it all, but this is how it stands.
me and mal went our seperate ways, in a way. its been a rough last couple of days. ugh, this is even hard to talk about. =(
me and mallory like eachother, alot. well, love actually. anyway, mal doesn't feel that she can handle a relationship of any kind right now. she needs some time to get her own life straight, and get some things done that are obviously alot more important than keeping a boyfriend. and thats ok, because i need to get some things straightened out myself.
but, she tells me that although she doesn't think she can do it now, she wants to later. now, that's great news to me, because obviously i want this relationship to work out. i think what we have is special, and isnt something that should be taken for granted. i would LOVE to believe that we can continue this, or start it over again, and take it to new heights. but, a part of me realizes that shes only 16, and that to feel the same way about me for 2 or so full years would be an act of god. now, i believe that she wants this as much as i do, and that right now she really can't, and that when things settle down and work themselves out, that we'll finally be able to do this the right way. it would be so amazing. and i'm willing to do what it takes to get there.
but, it really is a long time. i know she tells me that everything will be ok, i still worry. to me a week is a long time. people change so dramatically over time, especially 2 years. i dunno, i'm just worried she'll change her mind about everything and not want this anymore. i'm sorry mal if you're reading this, but i DO believe you, theres just always that feeling deep down that you'll realize that i'm not what you want and blah blah, i'm such a pessimist about stuff like that.
ugh, i dunno. theres just something about her that makes me think this is going to end up ok. that we'll get that chance. it's just up to me to get things in my life straightened out, and to be the best friend i can to mal. i have to stay close with her for there to be any chance at all, so thats what i'll do.
i dont even know if what i wrote even makes any sense. i've been crying and blah and i'm trying to get used to this whole thing. i just needed to vent a little. i'll write more on it later i'm sure. but i'm gonna go i guess. i dunno.
i'm sorry for everything i did, or didnt do, mal. and if this is what you think you need, then i'm all for it. i just hope to one day get the chance to make you as happy as i know i can. hopefully in the end, everything will end up ok. we both just have some things to do right now. i have faith. but regardless i'll love you no matter what happens. i just want you to be happy.
nite all..
-bri
ps:
Mal, i'll NEVER forget, ever...
me and mal went our seperate ways, in a way. its been a rough last couple of days. ugh, this is even hard to talk about. =(
me and mallory like eachother, alot. well, love actually. anyway, mal doesn't feel that she can handle a relationship of any kind right now. she needs some time to get her own life straight, and get some things done that are obviously alot more important than keeping a boyfriend. and thats ok, because i need to get some things straightened out myself.
but, she tells me that although she doesn't think she can do it now, she wants to later. now, that's great news to me, because obviously i want this relationship to work out. i think what we have is special, and isnt something that should be taken for granted. i would LOVE to believe that we can continue this, or start it over again, and take it to new heights. but, a part of me realizes that shes only 16, and that to feel the same way about me for 2 or so full years would be an act of god. now, i believe that she wants this as much as i do, and that right now she really can't, and that when things settle down and work themselves out, that we'll finally be able to do this the right way. it would be so amazing. and i'm willing to do what it takes to get there.
but, it really is a long time. i know she tells me that everything will be ok, i still worry. to me a week is a long time. people change so dramatically over time, especially 2 years. i dunno, i'm just worried she'll change her mind about everything and not want this anymore. i'm sorry mal if you're reading this, but i DO believe you, theres just always that feeling deep down that you'll realize that i'm not what you want and blah blah, i'm such a pessimist about stuff like that.
ugh, i dunno. theres just something about her that makes me think this is going to end up ok. that we'll get that chance. it's just up to me to get things in my life straightened out, and to be the best friend i can to mal. i have to stay close with her for there to be any chance at all, so thats what i'll do.
i dont even know if what i wrote even makes any sense. i've been crying and blah and i'm trying to get used to this whole thing. i just needed to vent a little. i'll write more on it later i'm sure. but i'm gonna go i guess. i dunno.
i'm sorry for everything i did, or didnt do, mal. and if this is what you think you need, then i'm all for it. i just hope to one day get the chance to make you as happy as i know i can. hopefully in the end, everything will end up ok. we both just have some things to do right now. i have faith. but regardless i'll love you no matter what happens. i just want you to be happy.
nite all..
-bri
ps:
Mal, i'll NEVER forget, ever...