FM January Topic - Blade

[last_to_believe]

((Set after Molly and Kennedy are done.))I missed Jude. Somethin' big and bad was apparently going down, and someone was targeting Slayers. My first instinct was that that something was a little person I liked to call my former best friend Alexia Osborn. Whatever. She's not former. She's still my best friend. It's just hard, since she'd like to

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[last_to_believe]

"It's almost taller than me, so I'm not too sure about that." I replied with a laugh. "But maybe." I agreed. "I'll take your word for it." She seemed to take the Slayer thing pretty well. Probably not likely to throw a Slayer Pride Party or anything anytime soon like Kennedy seemed likely to do. But better than I'd taken to it yet.

"Another lifetime." I agreed. And it really did seem that way. It had only been six or seven months or so ago, but it felt like it had been in a past life or something. "There was also the trip to Greece. I mostly hung out with Lexi and Caleb and Jude, but if I remember correctly, we have look-a-like boyfriends. Yours is more goofy, where mine's more broody." I think I remembered something about a spilling incident too. But I couldn't remember it exactly. I'd been pretty wrapped up in Jude those days. Okay, so who am I kidding? I still am. But yeah, he spilled something on someone. Maybe it was even her he did the spilling on.

Time just all seemed to blur together like the last six months had just been one continuous day. I couldn't remember what happened when or who with.

"She seems nice enough," I replied, about Kennedy. "She really seems to care about what happens to all of Slayer kind. And Lexi got pretty defensive when I mentioned how everyone said she was mean." Lexi was nothing if not loyal. Only now she was loyal to evil. Which kinda made us enemies, didn't it?

She mentioned the lockdown thing and I just sighed inwardly. It seemed like a great idea in theory. Safety in numbers. But sitting ducks also had numbers, and they weren't exactly safe, were they? What else could we all do though? I guess if there was anything, we'd be doing it.

Looking down and then away for a minute when she said she was sorry about what happened to Lexi, I fought back a sudden wave of tears. Sometimes I was just mad that it happened. I was just so pissed, I didn't even want to cry. Because I wasn't sad. I was pissed. And then some days, it was like it was just too real to even get mad about.

"Me too." Was all I managed to whisper, because today wasn't a pissed off day. Today was a realism day. I paused, taking time to just breathe, and I hesitated, I did. But then I had to ask her the million dollar question. The one I couldn't stop asking myself.

"Would you kill her?" I asked softly. "If you could, or if you had to, or if you just had the opportunity, would you stake her?"

[mollydavis]

"Oh! I remember him. Yeah, Seth is pretty much anything but broody. His best friend, though, I bet he could give Jude a run for his money in that department." Sometimes I tried to think between the two of them who was worse, Lucy or Ryan. It usually came down to a draw and they both came in first place.

"Yeah, she does care which I guess I can give her credit for. We don't always exactly get along all the time, but she did kind of run us hard there for a few months. Her and Faith are kind of doing the same now, but it's different."

She got all sad at the mention of Lexi again and I almost regretted saying anything. Maybe it wasn't my place. From what I knew, this girl and Lexi were pretty much as good of friends as you get. I imagined for a second what it would be like if Lucy winded up a vampire and wanted to eat me but that thought scared the crap out of me so I did my best to dismiss it.

I looked up when she asked if I would kill her if I could. I really wasn't sure the answer to that.

"I don't know," I replied. "I mean, I know I should, right? Slayer, vampire. Stake, pointy teeth. Good, evil. It's what I do. And I think.. maybe I'd want to, you know? Not because of just the vampire thing but she's not who she used to be. She's not really Lexi anymore even if she might seem like it sometimes. But when it came right down to it. If I had the stake and she was the one under it? I don't know."

Looking down, I shrugged a little and tried to give her a half-hearted smile. "Doesn't really answer your question though, does it?"

[last_to_believe]

I tried to picture Seth's friend, and I think I could vaguely remember him. He was with a relatively emo looking but pretty brunette? I didn't want to say that out loud though, because I was almost positive that pretty emo girl was Molly's good friend. Like she was Molly's Lexi. And even though it wasn't necessarily an insult, I'd still probably get defensive if someone called my best friend emo. I still didn't doubt it though. That Seth's friend could give Jude a run for his money. Jude mostly only got broody when you started talking about the magic bubbles.

Or threatened to break up with him if he used them again.

It wasn't exactly thrilling to hear that Kennedy and Lexi's mom (it seemed too weird to call her by her first name!) were back to working them hard. Even if it was in a different way. Part of my heart just still wasn't in this slaying thing. And after my complete and utter failure at handling the sword? I had a feeling they'd want to work me hardest of all.

Smiling sadly, I shook my head. "It doesn't. But mostly because I think I was kinda hoping you'd answer it for me. That's been one of the hardest parts, beyond just the fact that my best friend got taken from me. What Sophia made her, what she is now, I'm supposed to kill. And she keeps taunting me. Talkin' about how she wants to make me like her." I sighed.

"But even if it came down to that, even if she tried to make me a vampire, I just don't that I could kill her." I admitted. "Which is why I secretly hope this slaying thing is at least partially instinct. Otherwise, it'll be me under your stake eventually." Which, I hoped never, ever happened.

It felt good to talk about it. Like this. With another Slayer. But all the same, something she said was stuck under my skin now. Like a splinter. How she's not really Lexi anymore. Even if she seems like it sometimes. I'd never really thought about it that way. I couldn't seem to disassociate the girl who'd been my best friend from the monster she'd become.

Forget a splinter. It was like a wedge of glass embedded underneath my skin. It would take a razor blade to get it out now. That was when the truth really hit me. My best friend was gone.

[mollydavis]

"Just because you might think you wouldn't be able to kill her doesn't mean you have to sit back and let her do the exact same thing to you," I told her. I might not be able to to have the resolve to kill someone I used to be friends with or knew at all before they were turned, but that doesn't mean that when they come after me, I give up. We're slayers. I guess I think that if she tried to come after me, come after me that way, that I'd be able to do it if I had to."

I looked at her closely and it was easy to see that none of this was easy for her to accept. From the sound of it, she hadn't even wanted to do the whole slayer thing at all anyway.

"I don't think I'd be able to answer that for you even if I gave you a yes or no answer. They train us here to be the best slayers that we can, and hey in a controlled room with your teacher standing behind you and watching you it's not so bad. Out there I don't even want to think about it sometimes. They're training us harder because we all know something big is coming." I shrugged a little. "And I'm scared. Hearing about that five of my friends ended up dead just because of the fact they were slayers, scares me. I don't want to become number six or another name on that list."

I tried a smile on her, hoping it would help take the emo edge off the conversation even a little. Lucy would be so proud. ... You know, if she was HERE.

"There's the training, but half of being a slayer is instinct. When she put you in the middle of those vampires that first time, what did you do? You fought them, right? Maybe not as finessed or skilled as you would be with more training, but you didn't just let them come at you and have it end there. You fought because that's what we slayers do."

[last_to_believe]

I shrugged. It just wasn't cut and dry, any way that you sliced it. There's no way I could say what I would or wouldn't do if or more likely when it came down to it. I knew that I didn't have to let her turn me. But some twisted part of my heart that was still loyal thought I could live like that better than I could live with myself if I killed her.

I didn't know why, but some sort of relief flooded through me when she said that she was scared. I even laughed a little, though I didn't mean to. Especially since she mentioned the five girls who had been killed and how she was scared of being the next in line.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. It's just...I'm scared too. Terrified, really. But I didn't want to tell anyone. I thought because we're so strong and all, we weren't allowed to be scared." I admitted.

"And I'm just, I'm not fearless. I can't make myself be not afraid." I added. "When she threw me to all those vampires, I could have peed myself. I mean, it was so scary. And it took a few hits before I kind of woke up, and instinct kicked in. But you're right, it did kick in. Eventually. I even broke a pool cue in half and used it as a makeshift weapon since Lexi didn't exactly arm me or anything." Trial by fire. And why did that make me miss her even more? Probably because she was everything I wanted to be. She was fearless. Lexi would look at five dead Slayers as a challenge, not a warning.

"I don't wanna be number six either." I said, suddenly. "Or number seven, number eight... Any number." I bit my lower lip, pulling the towel away to see that the cut had mostly healed and wasn't even bleeding anymore, and then I glanced back down at the sword.

"Maybe you could teach me a thing or two?" I asked. If fighting was what slayers do, then I had to learn. She seemed like a pretty good teacher.

[mollydavis]

"Well, if we're not allowed to be scared then I suck at being a slayer," I said with a hint of a smile. "Though, I guess it kind of helps sometimes. Because like you said, your instinct kicked in. It's like if you were just some normal, boring non-superhero type and some random person attacks you on the street. Yeah, you get scared as hell but you don't just let them hurt you. You fight back. We just.. have a little extra boost for the big baddies I guess."

We were both scared, but another big part of the reason she was scared was because she didn't really have any idea in hell what she was capable of. I mean, I'm still learning that too. She'd just been thrown into this, literally, and was forced to deal with it. I wasn't exactly jumping on the demon bandwagon from the start.

Me teach her? I couldn't help it, but I laughed a little and tilted my head towards the door to see if Kennedy was gonna pop in and laugh her head off. Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Kennedy.

"Hah, sorry. I was just waiting for Kennedy to come in and tell you that she'd be the teacher here." I smiled again. "But yeah, totally. I'd really like to help you learn."

[last_to_believe]

I smiled gratefully at Molly. It helped to know that I wasn’t the only one here who was scared. I kinda thought maybe Kennedy was even a little afraid. But she was so…fierce and stubborn and stoic, it was hard to tell. Like if she was, she definitely didn’t want anyone knowin’. Which made it seem like fear was this big liability. And since I was already so underqualified for the job of Slayer, I already felt like a big liability.

“Right. The fear feeds the adrenaline, or the big boost you’re talkin’ about.” I said, nodding my head as I soaked in what she was saying. Made sense. When Lexi threw me to all of those vampires, I went into some kind of auto pilot I didn’t even know existed in me. The fact that I was terrified, while it could have possibly been paralyzing, had actually been fuel. There was only one way out of that situation.

Through.

“So it’s instinct, and training, and survival, pretty much?” I asked, since that seemed to be the sum of things to me. We have the instinct already, Kennedy and Lexi’s mom train us to use it, and then we just…try not to die.

My eyes followed her to the door before focusing back on her face when she laughed. I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow when she mentioned she was expecting Kennedy to just bust in and assert her authority. From what I’d heard of her, that must be a common expectation around here.

“Great!” I said, maybe a little too enthusiastically when she said she’d help me. I couldn’t help it! I’d planned on staying in here all night if I had to, just me and the heavy artillery, ‘till I actually figured out how to use something well enough to make it worth my while to hide under my pillow.
“So, as teacher,” This time I gave a slight tilt to the door to see if Kennedy would magically appear. Kinda like calling Bloody Mary or something. Only less spooky. But she didn’t show so I looked back at Molly with a smirk. “What should we work on first? Stakes?” I suggested, adding: “Blades don’t really seem to be my thing.”