Dream of Californication

[last_to_believe]

Kacie had left at like 2 that afternoon with her doctor-boyfriend who was takin' her to Las Vegas for the weekend, leavin' her Santa Monica beach house all to me. She tried real heard to pretend like she was givin' me the speech, the one about not having any parties while she was gone, no drinking, and definitely no boys. But I could tell, Kacie

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[ilikejourney]

I stood there, hiding my cigarette a little. It's been so long since I've actually smoked and I just picked up the habit again. Not exactly proud of it, but it helps out in situations I guess. I noticed some girl watching me and I tilted my head as my eyes roamed the area before they locked on her again as she came over.

"Uh, no. I mean ... yeah." Tucking the end of the cigarette between my lips, I reached in my pocket and pulled out one for her and held out the pack for her friend who just shook her head no before putting the pack in my pocket. My other hand reached into my other pocket for the lighter. Grabbing my cigarette from my mouth, I lit her cigarette and shoved the lighter back in my pocket. I was going to ask if we could even smoke in here, but I doubted it mattered and I didn't care too much.

"Uh, Ryan," I nodded and took a drag, then turned my head and inhaled. I didn't know what to say, so I just stood there. Yeah. This was ... fun.

"So," I started, breaking up an awkward moment that was probably my fault anyway. "Is this your ... party?"

[darkersideofyou]

I quirked an eyebrow when he told me no but then he quickly changed his mind before lighting up my cigarette. I didn't smoke too much, but I'd started smoking a little bit back when I'd been waitressing at the strip club. It just seemed like the thing to do. "Thanks." I said appreciatively, after I had taken a drag on my cigarette.

"What? No." I shook my head. "I don't think I've ever even been inside a house this nice." I said appreciatively as I looked around. I had the feeling that Molly came from money though, which meant she fit in here a lot better than I did. Not that it mattered, there were drinks here and lots of people.

"We know one of the girls throwing the party. Lexi Osborn? Is she your friend too?" I asked him, as I glanced over at Molly who looked like she wanted to throw her beer out the door. They had other booze here, but it was always just easier to grab a beer and I wasn't picky.

I didn't recognize him, which meant he might know the other girl, Lexi's friend, the girl who's cousin owned the house. Then again, Lexi seemed to be friends with half of Los Angeles.

[mollydavis]

"Yeah, her and her brother Tyler's mom run this school thing that we both go to here in town." I smiled cheerfully and glanced over at Lucy who had this look on her face. What? At least I didn't slip up and say 'slayer' school again like the last couple of times.

Ryan seemed more than a little nervous with the way he was acting. Maybe he wanted my beer and I could go get something better. He looked like he needed my beer.

I'd been to places as nice as this, but not for a while. Different than back home, though.

This guy didn't look like he knew anybody at the party much less Lexi or Tyler or the other girl, Lacey. Shrugging a little, I took a long drink from the beer and made a face. Okay, yeah. I needed something so much better than this.

"I've gotta head to the bar, I'll be right back. You guys want anything?"

[ilikejourney]

All of these people they were mentioning and not one of them I knew. Then again, I barely knew the girl that invited me, which was surprising that she did invite me in the first place. I knew Kacie, barely, but then ... Lacey? That couldn't be right, but maybe it was. It didn't matter. I was here and not exactly turning back. I finished my cigarette and put it out in a nearby ashtray, or what looked like one. I wasn't sure.

"Nah, I don't know a Lexi, but I know a Kacie." I frowned. "Or a Lacey?" Nodding, I raised my eyebrows and shrugged.

"Oh, a school?" I was supposed to go to ... some school, but yeah. Didn't exactly work out seeing as I'm not home anymore. Besides, school wasn't for me and it hasn't really been. Ever. "What school is ... Oh, nah, I'm good," I said and looked over at Lucy and watched as she took a sip of beer.

"Yeah, sure, why not, but I can get it if it's too much trouble. A beer," I said and looked at Molly. I felt like I was yelling because of the music. "Is there someplace just a little quieter around here?"

[darkersideofyou]

So it was settled, Ryan was apparently friends with the other girl who was throwing the party. He looked a little sketched out to be friends with someone like this, and obviously he wasn't big on the talking a lot. That was kind of cool I guess, people who talked too much got old after awhile.

"Uhh. Yeah." I said covering up for Molly's explanation of our "school". Did we have to keep calling it that? I guess it was school, especially since it was the only school I've gone to in a long time. "It's a boarding school." I explained, already feeling bad about the lie, but what choice did we really have?

He was about to ask what the name of the school was when Molly leaped in and saved the day. She was handy that way. "I'm all set." I told her as I took another drag off of my cigarette.

[mollydavis]

"Sure!" I told cute, new boy as I headed over to the bar and ordered me up an apple martini. Mmmm. I could drink these things all night long. Saying hey to a few other people I didn't know but didn't care, I grabbed the beer for Ryan and made my way back through the crowd of people to Lucy and Ryan again.

On my way, that was when I saw Spike. Spike! God, what was HE doing here? Don't tell me Kennedy was going to walk through the door and crash our party. Ugh, that would so suck.

"Hey!" I hissed at Lucy and swatted her on the arm after handing Ryan his beer. "You're not gonna believe who I just saw." Nodding over in his direction, I pointed out Spike to her. "Who's the guy with him?" He looked older than the rest of us but not as old as Spike because duh, Spike was a vampire and he's way older. Hot too. REALLY hot.

I sipped more at my martini and smiled back over at the two of them. "At least the party doesn't suck."

[ilikejourney]

Ahh, boarding school. Yeah, that's something I would definately not do. I felt awkward here and after Molly left, Lucy and I just sort of stood there, not saying anything. I didn't know what to talk about because I didn't know her and besides, she came up to me ... for a cigarette. Shouldn't she be gone now? I looked at her out of the corner of my eye for a moment and then looked away.

She was cute. Nice. Nice looking. Not that it was about that because it wasn't. Bringing up my hand, I rubbed it over my face and looked at her as my hand went back to my side.

"I'm just going to get out of here," I said, but then Molly came back and handed me my beer, which I gladly took because it meant that I would be doing something besides just standing here. Part of me wished that Seth was here, but then if he was here, I'd have to ... deal with that and that is something that I'd rather not deal with.

Casually, I sipped my beer and listened to Molly point out some guy across the floor. I glanced over and saw two older guys who just stood there, scanning the area while drinking beers. I just nodded and looked around while they talked, wondering if I should just leave.

[darkersideofyou]

I followed Molly's gaze all the way to the other side of the room and my eyes widened when I saw Spike standing around with some guy. He was cute, in kind of a pretty boy way. Not really my kind of thing but why the hell was Spike here? That didn't mean that Kennedy was going to come walking in here, did it? I hoped not.

"Wait." I said to Ryan when he said he was going to walk out. He had a beer in his hand so where the hell was he gonna go? Like me and Molly were so hard to hang out with. "You just got here." I pointed out to him.

"Let's go out on the beach. It's quieter out there and I think some people are starting a fire." I nodded to the doors and opened the sliding glass before stepping out onto the patio. With my drink still clutched in one hand I flicked my cigarette away with the other hand before turning back to wait for Molly and Ryan.

[ilikejourney]

Raising my eyebrow, I walked passed the throngs of people that were around and followed her outside to the beach. Felt a lot better out here, a lot more quiet than it was in there. Molly had decided to not come with us so it was just me and her. And beer. Which, I took another sip of before giving her a small smile and setting my drink down.

"So," I started and looked at her, leaning back a little bit, before coming foward and then staying still. Pulling out another cigarette, I lit it and crossed my arms over my chest.

"As you can tell, I'm not exactly a big talker."

And, I'm sure she could tell, considering I just ... left it hanging like that. I took a drag and looked out at the ocean. Just like the ones they make at home.

"Wanna go out there? Walk or ... something?" I asked her. "I mean, it's cool if you don't," I told her and took another drag, then grabbed my drink.

[darkersideofyou]

"That's okay." I told him when he explained that he wasn't a big talker. "Sometimes quiet is better." I admitted, because God knows I'd had enough quiet. I smiled at him a little bit when he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. At least that was a start.

"Sure." I said, as I fell into step next to him and took another sip of my drink as we walked down towards the beach a little bit more. People were starting to filter out onto the beach and I could see a fire being built as we walked closer to the water.

"I like it here, all of this ocean. I've never really lived on the coast before." I told him. Although I guess New Orleans was pretty much a giant swamp. Did that count?

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, as I glanced up over at him. "If you didn't want to be here, why did you come?"

[ilikejourney]

We started walking down by the water and I could see the fire starting. It reminded me alot of the last party I was at in Newport, or one of the last. It was hard to keep up, seemed there was a party every week. But that party was different, it was supposed to be the last party in high school. In fact, all of us had to wear our college names so everyone knew where everyone else was going. Yeah, I didn't need that sweater anyway.

Looking over at her, I took another drag off of the cigarette and nodded. I liked the ocean too, although it reminded me of a lot. Seemed alot of things did that to me these days. It would be so much more easier to forget, but that's not going so well. At least Lucy was a good distration from it all until tomorrow.

I let out a breath and shrugged. Why did I come here if I didn't want to be here? That was a good question, and I had an answer, but what was I going to tell her?

"Just figured that I could get out, do something different for a night." If I wasn't here, I'd probably be cage fighting and while that is theraputic, I decided that this would be a nice ... difference, I guess you could say.

"Just needed a distraction from other things. Where are you from?" I asked her to change the subject.

[darkersideofyou]

I nodded at him slowly when he said that he wanted to get out for the night and try something different. I could relate to that, I was pretty much in the same boat as he was. I needed to get out for the night and a party seemed as good a place as any to try something different. Now I was walking down by the beach with a cute boy who didn't talk alot.

"Around." I shrugged when he asked me where I was from. Some days I couldn't even remember where I was from. There was Michigan, and then New Orleans and then Colorado and now here. Around seemed as good an answer as any.

I smiled at him a little bit. "These things....I don't really go to parties that often, they're not really my thing. But I guess I can't complain about the free drinks. It's something to do." I shrugged a little bit as I looked up and over at Ryan. "Looks like some people are building a fire." I said as I nodded over to the group of kids starting up a big bonfire.

I narrowed my eyes and looked past a bunch of kids to see a brunette standing near them. She looked a little too familiar. "Helena." I whispered, as I slowly started walking towards the fire but just as I got close enough the figure disappeared.

[ilikejourney]

Yeah, the free drinks were great and I wasn't exactly a big fan of drinking, but that was then and well, this was now. Plus, I didn't have the Cohens breathing down my neck. I was just out having a few drinks, I wasn't going to become an alcoholic like the rest of them. "Yeah, actually, I've been to a lot of parties. Just not any recently, so this ... is something different than what I have been doing." Letting out a breath, I stopped with her and looked over at the bonfire.

"Yeah," I said, but didn't say much else. I stared at the fire a bit before looking at her. Frowning when she whispered Helena, I wondered what the hell she was talking about, and I looked over, but either way if there was someone there, I wouldn't know anyway.

"Are you okay?" I asked her and turned a little, more facing her, than the beach.

[darkersideofyou]

Where the hell was she? I'd just seen her and then she disappeared. No, I wasn't just seeing things, I really had seen her. I wasn't that drunk, was I? Seeing her form again against the night sky made me ache a little more than I would have liked. Just when I think I've put my life behind me, I get reminded of how hard it used to be.

After along minute I pulled my eyes away from the fire and turned back to look at Ryan. He looked a little confused and I couldn't exactly blame him.

"No." I said honestly as I shook my head back and forth. I didn't know why I was being so honest with him other than he was a stranger and there was just...something about him. "Sorry I...I need another drink. It was nice meeting you, Ryan."

With that I turned my back to him and headed back up the beach towards the house where the alcohol was.