The Next Step
How can I give you up, Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, Israel?
How can I treat you like Admah?
How can I make you like Zeboiim?
My heart is changed within me;
all my compassion is aroused.
I will not carry out my fierce anger,
nor will I turn and devastate Ephraim.
For I am God, and not man -
the Holy One among you.
I will not come in wrath.
They will follow the Lord;
he will roar like a lion.
When he roars,
his children will come trembling from the west.
Hosea 11: 8-10
Recently, time seems so ambiguous.
every weeks seem to become longer,
yet, I am finally here, where I have wanted to be.
Over the summer, coming over to the next step at college seemed so so far away.
My high school was long enough. And my journey has been long enough.
So I thought it would be over. I thought that was it.
Ever since I gave up on the current of time like that, I have become so numb about everything.
My summer was a continuous cycle of ambiguity.
College is fun. Really, it's seriously the most amazing place.
People are great here. They are all smart, bright, and intelligent. I get along with them pretty okay when I have time.
However, I am not talking about the social status. I haven't had much bonding at all with those guys.
and I don't think I will be like 'that' kid people used to know as me in high school here.
While these kids are all nice in first place, they can be the most superficial ones at the same time.
I already talked to this guy who was feeling left out of the 'clique' or community.
These people can actually drop you off out of their bound like no other.
School is just so uptight like that.
I tired out for the men's club team.
I like the team a lot.
I think I should be doing fine, but the amount of school work I am dealing with is just so much.
I guess I would have to give up on it. School is hard like that.
I like this challenge. I am just not used to this new challenge.
I have to give up on something in order to move onto another step.
I am sensing I am turning into something else. I am acting quite differently here.
Which I probably don't mind at all.
I finally found a church and college group to go.
They seem to be really welcome. I am trying to get hold of some of my friends to go with.
It seems like it is going to work out :D
College is such a huge community. Praise God for bringing me all the way here.
At the same time, I have to watch out.
This long race has just started, and I have about a year.