Pointing Farewell
so I am finally done.
I am not talking about high school.
I just finished the last work of high school. And this will be good for tonight.
I am through with high school, hopefully.
friends, teachers, loves, hates, challenge, success, and a failure.
Everything came to an end now and it makes me wonder what is the point.
Well, maybe this is not an end.
Can't really say A LOT of things happened or nothing happened, for my life is not done yet.
It's just that I am glad I have got to have some sincere prayers and God has thoroughly answered my questions and prayers.
I don't have a friend. I don't have a friend that I love.
I am never active. I never take a first move.
And with the same the three years have passed me by.
All the things I have volunteered to do, obsessed with getting all the attention and success...
doesn't matter.
I didn't really know what bittersweet meant. But I think I know now.
I have made what I have wanted to be shown on my name tag.
Instead, I have lost what I have wanted to be seen in my heart.
Fair deal. High school that is.
I am leaving in five days, and this is not so dramatic at all.
Dear friends, although no one may care, I will see all of you very soon.
Summer is just summer. It's not life. Just because of the short absence, it's ridiculous to lose everything.
My friends are leaving. India, Michigan, Arkansas, and England (pshh)
And my friends that are already gone.
Dear heavens, thank you for all these talented young men.
You guys will be terribly missed.
so I finally saw my parents after 2 and a half or more years of absence.
No excitement. Not so much overwhelming emotional forge.
I just saw their old face, perhaps older face. It drove me crazy.
I don't feel connected to them. And I realized I have FAR more way to catch up with them.
It's just sad. God knows me. so it's even more sad.
God knows my heart, and I can't do anything about it.
Maybe I really threw myself away on this ruthless time current.
Things didn't stop. And I know that this summer is not going to be the summer 2 years ago.
Things got older, sadder, and different.
I am full of plans over this summer. I really do have many plans.
But I am having a load of plans, just to forget what is on my mind. I am being honest.
I really have so much to talk about, and people urge me to have closure before I leave.
Sorry, but it's not me.
I remember one time this good friend of mine cried on me.
So afraid of catching up with this overwhelming amount of work,
the person was just freaking out. I told the person that because muscle remembers action,
you are simply freaking out. In fact the person did not have anything that was due.
Yet, I am going through the same syndrome, but the difference is that I am just creating things after things on my own. simply in order to forget what's on my mind.
for a while, I am not excited to see anybody, unfortunately.
I have things to do. sorry.
But I am graduating. so I guess I am happy?
Really confused that I am.
But I am so glad that I am all tired to give up everything on God.
He will make a decision, and will take me.
Because I make no choices.
I am not talking about high school.
I just finished the last work of high school. And this will be good for tonight.
I am through with high school, hopefully.
friends, teachers, loves, hates, challenge, success, and a failure.
Everything came to an end now and it makes me wonder what is the point.
Well, maybe this is not an end.
Can't really say A LOT of things happened or nothing happened, for my life is not done yet.
It's just that I am glad I have got to have some sincere prayers and God has thoroughly answered my questions and prayers.
I don't have a friend. I don't have a friend that I love.
I am never active. I never take a first move.
And with the same the three years have passed me by.
All the things I have volunteered to do, obsessed with getting all the attention and success...
doesn't matter.
I didn't really know what bittersweet meant. But I think I know now.
I have made what I have wanted to be shown on my name tag.
Instead, I have lost what I have wanted to be seen in my heart.
Fair deal. High school that is.
I am leaving in five days, and this is not so dramatic at all.
Dear friends, although no one may care, I will see all of you very soon.
Summer is just summer. It's not life. Just because of the short absence, it's ridiculous to lose everything.
My friends are leaving. India, Michigan, Arkansas, and England (pshh)
And my friends that are already gone.
Dear heavens, thank you for all these talented young men.
You guys will be terribly missed.
so I finally saw my parents after 2 and a half or more years of absence.
No excitement. Not so much overwhelming emotional forge.
I just saw their old face, perhaps older face. It drove me crazy.
I don't feel connected to them. And I realized I have FAR more way to catch up with them.
It's just sad. God knows me. so it's even more sad.
God knows my heart, and I can't do anything about it.
Maybe I really threw myself away on this ruthless time current.
Things didn't stop. And I know that this summer is not going to be the summer 2 years ago.
Things got older, sadder, and different.
I am full of plans over this summer. I really do have many plans.
But I am having a load of plans, just to forget what is on my mind. I am being honest.
I really have so much to talk about, and people urge me to have closure before I leave.
Sorry, but it's not me.
I remember one time this good friend of mine cried on me.
So afraid of catching up with this overwhelming amount of work,
the person was just freaking out. I told the person that because muscle remembers action,
you are simply freaking out. In fact the person did not have anything that was due.
Yet, I am going through the same syndrome, but the difference is that I am just creating things after things on my own. simply in order to forget what's on my mind.
for a while, I am not excited to see anybody, unfortunately.
I have things to do. sorry.
But I am graduating. so I guess I am happy?
Really confused that I am.
But I am so glad that I am all tired to give up everything on God.
He will make a decision, and will take me.
Because I make no choices.