yet another decision i regret.
would it be too ironic to say that i feel like im drowning? nothing about this whole fucking thing seems worth it. did i really think that this would be all that it was built up to be? what was my motivation? oh yeah... her. now what do i have?
exactly. i made a commitment and id rather not go to jail and kinda like knowing that if i need the governments help that they'll help me. i cant stop thinking of ways to get out early without being other-than-honorably discharge. i know that if i keep this attitude that its going to be a hell of a lot worse, but how do i break it? everything is so overwhelming. i want out. now. but thats just not going to happen. i wish for so many things to be different. i wish i could go back and change my mind. things with her would have died anyway, but that was out of my control long before i realized it was too late, but i could have at least still been enjoying what little life i had.
i cant wait to be done with the navy. fuck the 100 grand bonuses. i treasure my freedom more than that. i treasure my life more than that.
exactly. i made a commitment and id rather not go to jail and kinda like knowing that if i need the governments help that they'll help me. i cant stop thinking of ways to get out early without being other-than-honorably discharge. i know that if i keep this attitude that its going to be a hell of a lot worse, but how do i break it? everything is so overwhelming. i want out. now. but thats just not going to happen. i wish for so many things to be different. i wish i could go back and change my mind. things with her would have died anyway, but that was out of my control long before i realized it was too late, but i could have at least still been enjoying what little life i had.
i cant wait to be done with the navy. fuck the 100 grand bonuses. i treasure my freedom more than that. i treasure my life more than that.