Yesteryear, Tomorrowday
So I'm sitting in Carmel, not really sure how to feel. It doesn't feel like Christmas and that kind of upsets me. I didn't even realize how close it was until my Mom reminded me. I feel too much like an adult. Today I paid off a credit card and made a payment on my macbook, and then worked out payment plans for 2010.
I'm not sure how I feel about graduating in May. I'm excited to be done with papers, exams, and homework, but I'm scared at the same time. I'm not scared of bills and finances, I'm actually looking forward to a 9 to 5 job and being responsible. I'm scared about the changes that will come though. I'll be leaving CNU. Although I've hated it at times, it has become a second home to me. I'm scared to leave VA and start all over in NY. A part of me wants to stay there and see where life takes me. Another part of me wants to close that chapter and start anew. I'm not really sure where I belong anymore.
Everyone is growing up, people are getting married, having children, and being adults. I'm scared. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm ready. I'm unprepared. I'm full of oxymorons.
I wonder where tomorrow will take me ....
Today, though, I almost opened a door to the past that took me so long to close, but I took a breath, and walked away. It was probably the best decision I've ever made in Carmel, besides deciding to go to CNU.
I'm not sure how I feel about graduating in May. I'm excited to be done with papers, exams, and homework, but I'm scared at the same time. I'm not scared of bills and finances, I'm actually looking forward to a 9 to 5 job and being responsible. I'm scared about the changes that will come though. I'll be leaving CNU. Although I've hated it at times, it has become a second home to me. I'm scared to leave VA and start all over in NY. A part of me wants to stay there and see where life takes me. Another part of me wants to close that chapter and start anew. I'm not really sure where I belong anymore.
Everyone is growing up, people are getting married, having children, and being adults. I'm scared. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm ready. I'm unprepared. I'm full of oxymorons.
I wonder where tomorrow will take me ....
Today, though, I almost opened a door to the past that took me so long to close, but I took a breath, and walked away. It was probably the best decision I've ever made in Carmel, besides deciding to go to CNU.