You can stay if you want to and I'll try to keep you close to me
So as the day to move back to Pittsburgh comes closer,
the more I start to worry that I'm making a mistake.
Am I really doing what's best for myself?
My dad's health is slowly deteriorating.
He's on the list for a kidney and a pancreas transplant.
He can't have one without the other.
Although, I am still thinking about going and seeing if I can donate a kidney.
But with everything going on for me right now, I don't know if it's a good idea.
As much as I hate my dad sometimes,
I want to do whatever it takes to keep him here as long as I can.
I want him to see me grow up, get married, have kids, blah blah blah.
And it hurts to know that it might not happen.
I hate not being there for people I care about.
I read Mark's LJ and feel like a complete ass.
I was selfish and cut him out of my life.
And with everything he's going through,
I kind of feel like I abandoned him in a way.
Plus I shut out the Snook's.
I considered them my other family.
And Snooky had to be my best friend.
On Thursday, they had a fire at their farm.
One of their silow's (if I even spelled that right) burnt completely down.
Nobody was hurt, and they didn't lose any of their animals BUT
they lost an entire silow of feed for their animals,
which in reality, is a very devastating loss.
They need all the friends they have right now,
and I'm not there for them.
I hate when I leave people hanging, or alone.
I know what it feels like not to have anybody,
and I do what I can to make sure the people I care about don't feel that way,
and that I'll always be there,
but it seems like I tend to fail miserably.
^Two Amish guys doing hay^
^Megan^
^Tiff^
^Megan and Me^
^Tiff and Me^
^Tiff, Megan and Me^
^Shooter and Me^