This is your last night. This is your last chance in my hands.
The year 2005 has been a crazy one.
I can't believe that in like, two days, it will be over.
I can't believe how much I've changed.
I can't believe everything that's happened.
I'm not sure if I should go through this month by month or what.
I guess I'll just kind of type and see what happens.
First there's the love life. Oh man.
I swear I have a really complicated one.
I think it's just me and the luck I have.
And the fact that I am really really indecisive.
I found myself a great boy in January.
I seriously couldn't have asked for better.
I was actually content with him, and able to settle down.
Then I blew it in April and it seemed like my world fell apart.
But I learned from it that I need to be happy on my own.
And I learned that I need to be more trusting.
And I need to stop constantly second guessing myself.
The other real relationship was Dominic.
I kind of ended that with just...I don't know.
We just stopped talking and that was it.
I always thought I would need someone really laid back.
I thought Dominic was that one person who could balance me out.
I thought he could balance me out more than Aaron did.
All Dominic did was bore me. He was too laid back.
I also really threw myself into horseback riding again.
I guess I really should thank Aaron for that.
If we wouldn't have broke up, I wouldn't have felt the need to ride.
And I wouldn't have ended up feeling as ok as I did.
I made some amazing friends from spending every minute at the barn.
Coop has made an incredible impact on my life.
He's taught me I need to have more confidence in myself and my abilities.
I also need to have more confidence in my horse.
I think it's thanks to him I have made the progress that I have,
and the progress that I am continuing to make,
not only with horses, but with myself.
The situation with my mom gradually became too much to take.
I rode it out for as long as I could until I finally said enough.
So I moved to my dad's a few weeks into my senior year,
and I don't think I could be much happier.
Yes, I still have my major down times where I hate myself.
But you know, who doesn't?
This has been the best decision I've made this year.
I've been able to grow so much just within the past few months.
I'm happier with who I am, and I'm more outgoing too.
Overall, I've learned a lot about myself this year.
It's been such a roller coaster.
But because of everything, I've become stronger.
I don't let little petty things bother me so much anymore.
I focus on what's important instead of trivial things.
And most of all, I've been able to make myself happy on my own.
I no longer need somebody to make me happy.
So here's to 2005.
2006 is going to be one hell of a ride.
I can't believe that in like, two days, it will be over.
I can't believe how much I've changed.
I can't believe everything that's happened.
I'm not sure if I should go through this month by month or what.
I guess I'll just kind of type and see what happens.
First there's the love life. Oh man.
I swear I have a really complicated one.
I think it's just me and the luck I have.
And the fact that I am really really indecisive.
I found myself a great boy in January.
I seriously couldn't have asked for better.
I was actually content with him, and able to settle down.
Then I blew it in April and it seemed like my world fell apart.
But I learned from it that I need to be happy on my own.
And I learned that I need to be more trusting.
And I need to stop constantly second guessing myself.
The other real relationship was Dominic.
I kind of ended that with just...I don't know.
We just stopped talking and that was it.
I always thought I would need someone really laid back.
I thought Dominic was that one person who could balance me out.
I thought he could balance me out more than Aaron did.
All Dominic did was bore me. He was too laid back.
I also really threw myself into horseback riding again.
I guess I really should thank Aaron for that.
If we wouldn't have broke up, I wouldn't have felt the need to ride.
And I wouldn't have ended up feeling as ok as I did.
I made some amazing friends from spending every minute at the barn.
Coop has made an incredible impact on my life.
He's taught me I need to have more confidence in myself and my abilities.
I also need to have more confidence in my horse.
I think it's thanks to him I have made the progress that I have,
and the progress that I am continuing to make,
not only with horses, but with myself.
The situation with my mom gradually became too much to take.
I rode it out for as long as I could until I finally said enough.
So I moved to my dad's a few weeks into my senior year,
and I don't think I could be much happier.
Yes, I still have my major down times where I hate myself.
But you know, who doesn't?
This has been the best decision I've made this year.
I've been able to grow so much just within the past few months.
I'm happier with who I am, and I'm more outgoing too.
Overall, I've learned a lot about myself this year.
It's been such a roller coaster.
But because of everything, I've become stronger.
I don't let little petty things bother me so much anymore.
I focus on what's important instead of trivial things.
And most of all, I've been able to make myself happy on my own.
I no longer need somebody to make me happy.
So here's to 2005.
2006 is going to be one hell of a ride.