Mmm.
I love ritual. I really, really do. Spells are particularly fun. The scent of oils and incense that you've combined to a particular purpose. The vivid glow of candle flames. The colours of the candles. The colour and texture of the gems you use. Just the incredibly vivid feel of power all around you, the gods within your circle, and the knowledge that all of this is yours to wield. It's incredibly heady. I am wickedly in love with ritual, seriously. *stretches* And tonight was a good one. It all just clicked. There is something inherently, deeply satisfying to me about assembling the pieces of a spell or ritual and putting them together to create incredible synergies until it just IS one big focused moment rather than a series of steps combined to make a whole. The ritual is the magic, the witch is the magic, and the power is there. It's just.....wow.
Mmmmm, full moons are wonderful.
It's really amazing. Normally I'm all doubting about myself and my role in things and I worry about damn near everything. "Nothing's going right, and everything's a mess, and no one likes to be alone." It's not very fun. And I've gotten to the point now where I pull my altar into place facing my "wall of goddesses" (images of Athena, Nephthys, Kwan Yin and Arianrhod for fun; images of Idunn, Danu and Hella that work for me as Maiden/Mother/Crone plus the sketch Nicky drew me lo those many many years ago based only on my descriptions). I put water in the blue glass bowl I picked up for a dollar in Virginia and check to make sure all the components are there. I create my sacred space. Then I get ready to cast the circle--I pick up my wand or the knife I'm using as an athame or I just gather myself and use my power hand, and it's literally like a switch clicks over in my brain. Everything's fine, this is MY place and here I am loved, I am never alone, there is nothing that can cause me pain or fear or worry. This is how it should be. I cast the circle, I light the candles, and divinity fills my circle. It's perfect. Serenity, love, power, and that sense that everything is exactly right. Hell, I went into the circle tonight with a wretched neck/shoulder ache from writing and sewing most of the night. I picked up my athame and it went away. I love ritual.
In non-magical news, today was an okay day. Turned in my godawful draft in Classics today and we talked about Hippolytus, which I of course have not read. My group was assigned a section in which Hippolytus defends himself against rape charges by claiming that all he knows about sex is what he's heard in conversation and some pictures he's seen, but he really doesn't like that stuff and it makes him uncomfortable. I and my two female groupmates looked at each other and were like "yeah right, he's male." Then we rolled our eyes and started analysing the passage. It was fun.
Went to Burger King for lunch with Dana, Pooka, Freshman Mike and Sam N. We had an amusing if not, from my perspective, all that tasty lunch. Pooka and I came back here while Sam went to Searle and Dana and Mike went to take care of some necessary errands; I got a phone call from a lady I had submitted my resume to and set up an interview for Friday. Then Blue summoned me downstairs and I went to Costco with him and Eben. Blue dropped me at Jewel on the way back so I could buy the ingredients to make tacos tonight (I was cooking for both Blue and Dana). Then Blue decided I had to watch Star Wars: A New Hope because I couldn't really remember what I had seen when I watched it a long time ago, so we rented that and Kalifornia and settled in downstairs. Blue, Old-Guard Josh and Eben all had Warhammer miniatures to paint, Josh R was holed up in his room playing Starcraft with Freshman Mike, and Dana came back upstairs to do homework, so I got an embroidery kit and worked on that while we watched. That ended around 2 or 2:30.
I came up here, did my homework like a good little girl (though I probably won't go to class) and took the online quiz. Then I wrote and did the aforementioned ritual, and now I'm just letting my candles burn down some--it's a 3-night deal but I feel very silly if I burn them for like 20-30 minutes and that's all, especially since they're like 6 hour candles. Then I will extinguish them properly and get some damn sleep. Tomorrow the cleaning frenzy begins--this apartment must be clean and kitten-proof before we go to bed Thursday night. Mom gets in town on Friday and ideally most if not all of my NU friends will gather here at some point or another that night. Then the next day, Michigan Avenue (w00t! shopping!) and Lawry's, then a party downstairs in honour of Josh's dad who's visiting this weekend as well. Sunday I don't know about yet, I presume I will spend much of it with my mother, and possibly more of it watching Buffy or something else equally nonconstructive though I should spend it researching my paper.
At this point I think I have rambled quite long enough and then some so I'm just going to be quiet now :) *chirps sweetly and flitters away*
Mmmmm, full moons are wonderful.
It's really amazing. Normally I'm all doubting about myself and my role in things and I worry about damn near everything. "Nothing's going right, and everything's a mess, and no one likes to be alone." It's not very fun. And I've gotten to the point now where I pull my altar into place facing my "wall of goddesses" (images of Athena, Nephthys, Kwan Yin and Arianrhod for fun; images of Idunn, Danu and Hella that work for me as Maiden/Mother/Crone plus the sketch Nicky drew me lo those many many years ago based only on my descriptions). I put water in the blue glass bowl I picked up for a dollar in Virginia and check to make sure all the components are there. I create my sacred space. Then I get ready to cast the circle--I pick up my wand or the knife I'm using as an athame or I just gather myself and use my power hand, and it's literally like a switch clicks over in my brain. Everything's fine, this is MY place and here I am loved, I am never alone, there is nothing that can cause me pain or fear or worry. This is how it should be. I cast the circle, I light the candles, and divinity fills my circle. It's perfect. Serenity, love, power, and that sense that everything is exactly right. Hell, I went into the circle tonight with a wretched neck/shoulder ache from writing and sewing most of the night. I picked up my athame and it went away. I love ritual.
In non-magical news, today was an okay day. Turned in my godawful draft in Classics today and we talked about Hippolytus, which I of course have not read. My group was assigned a section in which Hippolytus defends himself against rape charges by claiming that all he knows about sex is what he's heard in conversation and some pictures he's seen, but he really doesn't like that stuff and it makes him uncomfortable. I and my two female groupmates looked at each other and were like "yeah right, he's male." Then we rolled our eyes and started analysing the passage. It was fun.
Went to Burger King for lunch with Dana, Pooka, Freshman Mike and Sam N. We had an amusing if not, from my perspective, all that tasty lunch. Pooka and I came back here while Sam went to Searle and Dana and Mike went to take care of some necessary errands; I got a phone call from a lady I had submitted my resume to and set up an interview for Friday. Then Blue summoned me downstairs and I went to Costco with him and Eben. Blue dropped me at Jewel on the way back so I could buy the ingredients to make tacos tonight (I was cooking for both Blue and Dana). Then Blue decided I had to watch Star Wars: A New Hope because I couldn't really remember what I had seen when I watched it a long time ago, so we rented that and Kalifornia and settled in downstairs. Blue, Old-Guard Josh and Eben all had Warhammer miniatures to paint, Josh R was holed up in his room playing Starcraft with Freshman Mike, and Dana came back upstairs to do homework, so I got an embroidery kit and worked on that while we watched. That ended around 2 or 2:30.
I came up here, did my homework like a good little girl (though I probably won't go to class) and took the online quiz. Then I wrote and did the aforementioned ritual, and now I'm just letting my candles burn down some--it's a 3-night deal but I feel very silly if I burn them for like 20-30 minutes and that's all, especially since they're like 6 hour candles. Then I will extinguish them properly and get some damn sleep. Tomorrow the cleaning frenzy begins--this apartment must be clean and kitten-proof before we go to bed Thursday night. Mom gets in town on Friday and ideally most if not all of my NU friends will gather here at some point or another that night. Then the next day, Michigan Avenue (w00t! shopping!) and Lawry's, then a party downstairs in honour of Josh's dad who's visiting this weekend as well. Sunday I don't know about yet, I presume I will spend much of it with my mother, and possibly more of it watching Buffy or something else equally nonconstructive though I should spend it researching my paper.
At this point I think I have rambled quite long enough and then some so I'm just going to be quiet now :) *chirps sweetly and flitters away*